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Saturday, January 3, 2004

Desbreko Abuses Syk3's Master Sword
Earlier this week, DailyOtaku recieved shocking details about a major scandal in the OtakuBoards community. According to several key witnesses, Drake Desbreko, the Category Moderator of the Otaku Series section of OtakuBoards, was caught playing with Syk3's Master Sword against the will of its owner. Read on to hear the shocking details of this vile and disgusting yet suprisingly alluring story.

According to one witness, Dragon Warrior, a fairly regular visitor of the Art & Design forum, he heard a "strange gasping, moaning noise" coming from one of the locked threads. "I recognized the noise instantly," Dragon Warrior said in a short interview. "It was like what women do when they see me, only there was a sort of pained whining mixed in."

Nothing could have prepared him for what came next. Upon prying the locked thread's door open, which seemed to have been quickly and shoddily slapped into place, he came face-to-face with something that "even made me envious," said Dragon Warrior. Another witness, Zidargh, quickly coming onto the scene after a startled yell from Dragon Warrior gasped, "It's huge!"

No sooner had the room's fully conscious occupant given a startled shout of surprise than the doorway was packed with spectators, marveling in wonder and cringing in disgust at the same time. There, for all to see, was Desbreko, hunched over Syk3's overly large Master Sword and staring wide-eyed at the multitude before him.

Another of the interviewed witnesses, Mimmi, had this to say: "It was like nothing I'd ever seen before--no wonder Mei likes him [Syk3] so much! I guess I can't blame Desbreko for wanting a piece of the action." Various other female witnesses were also said to have uttered similar remarks at the scene, according to those interviewed. Others reportedly just walked away with blank stares. Oddly, it is also rumored that Zidargh was overheard muttering such things as "I want to be sexually molestered now!" and "Be right back, I need to change my top, my nipples are going erect," as he was walking away. It is not known at this time, however, whether these statements were heard and transcribed accurately.

Soon, however, James, Charles, and the other Category Moderators arrived to close off the area. Both Desbreko and Syk3 were escorted into the confidential OtakuBoards Moderators forum and were not allowed to be interviewed until much later. While waiting, however, DailyOtaku was fortunate enough to be able to interview Shinmaru, a friend and biatch of both Syk3 and Desbreko. Due to space limitations, the full interview was not able to be published, but you'll find the vital questions and answers still intact.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -
DailyOtaku: Shinmaru, you're a friend to both of the members involved in this scandal. How do you feel towards Syk3 and Desbreko after what's happened?
Shinmaru: I'm shocked and hurt, that's how I feel. The fact is, I'm more than just a friend to Syk3 and Desbreko--I'm a personal biatch to both of them! [a pause, as he collects himself] I just can't believe Desbreko would do such a thing without even a thought for the wellbeing of my nads!

DailyOtaku: Do you think you'll still be able to be a friend to Desbreko after this?
Shinmaru: I'm...I'm just not sure at this point. I think I'll need to talk to both of them first... And maybe get kicked in the nads by Des. I can tell what he's feeling by his kicks, you know.

DailyOtaku: Will your Sammich making skills be impaired at all by this event?
Shinmaru: No, they can't be. Not now--Syk3 needs all the support he can get. I'll make him Sammiches until my hands bleed, if I have to! I just...I... [sobs] I have to go now.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -
After hours of waiting, we were finally allowed an interview with Syk3. However, all he would say was "He touched me..here, and here. [sobs]" We can only guess at the mental trauma he must be going through, but whatever Desbreko did, none now doubt that he wasn't in his right mind when he did it.

There are rumors about temporary insanity claims floating about, but James has been keeping a tight lid on the whole affair, and not a single detail has leaked out of the staff forum about Desbreko's condition. Some say he'll be relieved of his moderation duties, while others even go so far as to say he'll be banned. If the rumors of temporary insanity prove to be true, however, it is thought that he may be able to return to his normal moderating duties after extensive therapy and counseling.

We were able to catch the Otaku Anime Category Moderator, Shy, for a quick question about Desbreko as he was seen exiting the OtakuBoards Moderators forum, but his only reponse was, "*eats a cookie*" We can now only guess at the future of Desbreko, this once bright and promising member of OtakuBoards. The general consensus among both members and moderators about when we'll get news on Desbreko's condition, however, seems to be, "Wait for version 7."

Originally posted by Desbreko
The general consensus among both members and moderators about when we'll get news on Desbreko's condition, however, seems to be, "Wait for version 7."

*heh*

So very true.

Funny stuff, Des. Very...fitting...or something.

*snorts* I like it Des, you gots true talent. heh. You should be a comic strip dialogue maker-thinger. o.O

That was hilarious! I pissed myself when I read that! It's so funny!

Originally posted by MrSonic
That was hilarious! I pissed myself when I read that! It's so funny!

I'm sure Des is happy that he made you piss yourself.

You already know my opinion of it, but I decided to post here anyway. I thought the whole thing was very funny and well written. I also love how you integrated things that people were actually saying at the time into this lol. Shows that you're good at thinking on your feet.

Great work - too bad it won't really be daily.

The DailyOtaku iss.2

Thursday, January 8, 2004

Sightings of the Final Flasher
Recently, the DailyOtaku has been recieving reports of the elusive Final Flasher, a member that once frequented OtakuBoards but then left for personal reasons. Lately, however, there have been rumors of this member's return and these sitings can only add strength to them. Follow the DailyOtaku as we investigate the latest Flashings.

The first of these sightings occured at 2:45 AM PST on the morning of January 5, 2003. It was quiet in the Music, Movies & TV forum, when suddenly and out of nowhere, the Final Flasher appeared! Creeping into a thread titled "It's Elemeno P!" he Flashed the thread's author before disappearing as quickly as he had come... But not before leaving his mark for all to see. The forum's moderator, Manic, put a quarantine on the thread, but soon lifted it once he judged the Flashing to be harmless. The Final Flasher's mark can still be seen by passersby, for any that want a closer look.

When the DailyOtaku questioned the creator of the thread, Shinji, about the Flashing, he said that "It was certainly unexpected." Going on, he continued with, "It was kind of disturbing at first, but now that I think about it, it's sort of an honor to have my thread chosen for a Flashing." And that it may be. If the Final Flasher truly is returning to OtakuBoards, this first Flashing might just go down in history.

The next Flashing occured only hours ago at 1:39 AM PST on January 8 in the Sprite Central forum. This time it was a thread created by Dragonballzman, titled "Whoocha! LIKE NINJA!," to show off his latest sprite animation that got Flashed. When asked about the Flashing, Dragonballzman commented that "It was strange. At first it stung a bit, but then there was this weird, tingly feeling. In the end, it felt somehow satisfying." Just as with the previous Flashing, a mark was left in the thread for all to view.

As of yet, we can only wonder at the meaning of these sitings. As some have said, these Flashings could be signs of an imminent return of the Final Flasher. Others, however, believe that the Flasher is simply toying with us using brief appearances to cause commotion among OtakuBoards' members. But, whatever the case, it seems these sightings are not limited to OtakuBoards only. It is said that Desbreko, who is still being withheld in the OtakuBoards Moderators forum for psychological treatment, has had brief encounters with the Final Flasher over AOL Instant Messenger, or AIM for short.

The DailyOtaku was only allowed a short interview with Desbreko, in-between therapy sessions, and the former Category Moderator seemed to still not be all there. When asked about the Final Flasher, the most common response was "Four weapons! Four! Not five!" or a variation thereof. We were able to learn that Desbreko has had two encounters with the Flasher over AIM, but his screaming of "Four weapons" still remains a mystery.

It is unknown at this time whether others have also had sightings over AIM, but when James was questioned about the OtakuBoards Flashings, he said, "Don't worry about them, Flashy knows what he's doing." The Site Director apparently isn't at all worried about the sightings, as they seem to be harmless. "There are a lot of new members that have joined since he [the Final Flasher] left, so I may have to create an announcement to keep the newbies from panicking," he went on. "But this certainly isn't a problem."

Later, the DailyOtaku also got an interview with Warlock, a good friend of the Final Flasher. One of the longest standing members of OtakuBoards, Warlock has known the Flasher probably longer than anyone else, and we got to sit down with him for a few questions. Here's what he had to say.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -
DailyOtaku: You're a good friend of this Final Flasher, so you must know him pretty well. What do you think these recent Flashings mean?
Warlock: Well, I can hope that they mean Flash is going to come back to OtakuBoards and stay, but he can be pretty mischievous at times. He may just be putting us all on--or taking things off, as the case may be--so who knows. [a wink]

DailyOtaku: How did you react when you first heard about the Flashings?
Warlock: At first, I thought they were just jokes. Like I said, Flash has done some pretty crazy stuff, but with their increasing number I'm starting to take them a little more seriously.

DailyOtaku: Do you ever wish he would Flash you?
Warlock: [pause] No comment.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -
In the end, then, these Flashings mostly remain a mystery. As has been said, there are rumors about what they could mean, but none have any strong evidence backing them. We do know, however, that they are harmless and no cause for concern, so don't be worried if you and one of your threads is Flashed. If the Final Flasher is indeed returning to OtakuBoards, they can only become more common, so just sit back and "enjoy the view," so to speak.

You have a way with words Des. Although reading you in FFS could've told me that, but you really have a got a comedic way with words ^_~ Let me know if you write anymore of these ^____^;;

Ah, If I could ever be part of such momentous occasions....its because of my half hour time limit. Darn the time limit!!!!
In all honesty Desbresko, you have a talent for funny ^.^

*dies laughing*

Both of them are just great . Nice inclusion of Flash's reappearance, too. And the funny thing is, that's just about what I'd say.

I always look forward to the next Daily Otaku, heh.

Your Final Flash article was great, had me laughing for ages!

You've inspired me to write a spin-off, called the "not so Daily Otaku" and if that doesn't upset you, I'm sure nothing will

Hehehe. Very good stuff Des. I had a constant grin on my face for both of these magnificent articles. You have the 'journalese' language down pat... and everything is so damn funny. I absolutely love this. You have done an admirable job of integrating various OB occurrences... I'm loving it.

Shame this started in 04.. could be a thread of the year nominee >.>

Ah yes, great piece this is !
Though I now feel that I should watch what I say *suspiciously glances around*

I do hope there's more to come... I think ~_^
You're startin '04 off on a very high note, indeed ^_^

- Mimmi

Des, Des Des I cease to be amazed. Both articles have *hold hands up touching three finger together on each as if a mobster*

...such phazazz, such great details, so many unexpected curves,*looks over and realizes she talking about the tall blonde with great bust and hips in the corner*

Oh I'm sorry man, *sits down proper and crosses arm* But for real both articles are wonderful. Can't wait to the next edition.

The DailyOtaku iss.3

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

How Much of myOtaku Is yourOtaku?
With the gradual addition of features leading up to the launch of myOtaku.com version 2, there's also been an addition of restrictions. Some of both are seen as good, some not, and opinion seems to vary wildly depending on who one asks. Take a look as the DailyOtaku goes into the specifics of the additions and finds out what people think about them.

One of the first modifications was added on April 22 to the Backroom page of myOtaku, the result of a suggestion made by the myOtaku member Demonsprite. According to an announcement by Adam posted on theOtaku.com's homepage, "...all your friends who've updated within the last 24 hours are noew highlighted." Apparently this update is so helpful that Adam had to invent a new word to describe just how well the recently updated members' names are highlighted. But "noew," on to what people think about the highlighting.

First, a pro-highlighting opinion from James, holder of the #1 popularity rank on myOtaku. It's hard to argue with him when he says, "The highlighting is very helpful. I don't have a lot of time to sort through myOtaku pages, so being able to instantly see which friends have updated is nice." But, nevertheless, sCrEaMiNgFaN00bOy2598632 seems to have found something to squabble over: "i dpnt haev n e frends!!!1!!1!!!1!!11!1!!11111111" . . . And one can only wonder why that is.

The next update was suggested by Desbreko -- who, by the way, was released from his therapy and has resumed moderating duties on OtakuBoards -- and was implemented around the same time as the highlighting feature. Added to Otaku Life posts, Adam says that you can now "...specify whether you want our system to translate line breaks into HTML." No doubt this will facilitate the use of HTML in Otaku Life posts, allowing members to have HTML on more than one line. Or, if you have some grasp of technical terms, it allows HTML to be formatted in multiple strings; something that at least this "stringer" is happy about.

But what of the downsides of this update? Well, some members have complained about the upgrade not having any effect when the post is viewed on the comments page, causing problems with spacing. "It's annoying, but not a big deal as long as it's fixed eventually," said Japan86 as she posted a comment on one of Desbreko's posts. However, some others see this issue as a bit more urgent. When asked what he thought, hentai224 said, "Dude its messng up my hentai backround and i cant figur it out!" Best of luck with that issue of yours, hentai224.

Now, finally, we come to the most controversial update. In the same announcement on theOtaku.com, Adam says that, "Due to the fact that some people have been putting over 45,000 characters worth of content in their myOtaku.com site introductions, we're testing a system where there's a max limit of 600 characters." Certainly this was bound to cause some strife among members with long introductions, especially those using lots of HTML, even after the limit was increased to 1,500 characters. Some say that the limit takes away the user's ability to fully customize their introduction. Nikorasu, however, thinks that, "The restrictions are for people having rediculously long intros that take forever to lode, especially for us dial up users."

In order to get an opinion that's actually free of spelling errors, from someone that can see both sides of the issue, we caught up with Desbreko for a few questions. Heavily utilizing HTML and javascript in his introduction, the character limit is sure to have affected him. Read on to find out his views on the limit.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -
DailyOtaku: Up until the character limit was imposed, you were using quite a lot of HTML and javascript in your introduction. How has the limit affected you, Desbreko?
Desbreko: At first it mad me kind of angry, thinking about all the work I had put into developing the Now Playing and Midi Archive sections of my introduction, and how I'd have to give them up. Now, though, I don't really care about the limit.

DailyOtaku: Oh? And why is that?
Desbreko: Super Nad Powers, baby.

DailyOtaku: Okay. . . . So do you see the character limit as being unfair?
Desbreko: Well, when it was a limit of 600, I think that was definitely being too strict. Now with 1,500 though, I don't think it's all that bad. It allows for people to have some HTML in their intros, while keeping people like sCrEaMiNgFaN00bOy2598632 from putting up twenty quiz results. I mean, what the heck is a fan00boy anyway? Is it some strange hybrid of a n00b and a fanboy or what?

DailyOtaku: Are you at all jealous over Shinmaru, your Nad Biatch, surpassing you in popularity rank?
Desbreko: Don't make me kick you in the nads. Shinmaru may be my Nad Biatch, but I by no means limit myself to kicking his nads only.

DailyOtaku: Do you kick people in the nads as a way of compensating for something?
Desbreko: Oh, that's it. Super Nad Kick 9000!

DailyOtaku: What? What are you doing? No, no, not-- [screaming]
Desbreko: Booyah!

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So what's the verdict? Overall, opinions seem to be positive about the new upgrades, but as always there are a few who go against the flow of progress. To see things for yourself, sign up to myOtaku and try out these new features today. Just remember that if you do sign up, be sure and visit Desbreko's page. Otherwise you risk getting a kick in the nads, and that, folks, is something you do not want to experience.

It's funny 'coz it's true.

Very amusing, Sir Des. The interview was great, just because....well, yeah.

Originally Posted by Daily Otaku

n order to get an opinion that's actually free of spelling errors, from someone that can see both sides of the issue, we caught up with Desbreko for a few questions.

How did you ever reach him? *smirk*