Writing Sword of Despair

[Dragon Warrior]

Last year, I was in the Language Arts club for my school and I submitted my poem (some of you may know it) called The Shadow Knight. Well, it did pretty well. So, I'm back again this year and completed my newest poem which I turned in today for the competition. It's called [b]Sword of Despair[/b]. C&C, please XD


[size=4][b]Sword of Despair[/b][/size]

When life sends you the worst of choices,
you hear peccant thoughts and angry voices.
You?ve made the mistake by taking the dare.
Another stab by the Sword of Despair.

Deceiving words that were never true,
may come back and languish you.
This abject world is never fair,
for it tends to wield the Sword of Despair.

Facing the walls that close you in,
the constant tension breaking the skin.
Neglecting it all without a care,
leads to a wound from the Sword of Despair.

Dormancies of wicked dreams,
the scarred face of untold screams.
Witnessing these dreams could not compare,
to living a life with the Sword of Despair.

Blasphemy becomes your daily life,
continuous calls for endless strife.
It all seems bleak; you pull your hair,
an agonized fate by the Sword of Despair.

But don?t take a fall and cry away the pain.
It?s not over yet; break the binding chain.
The suffering is gone in one simple prayer,
you have finally vanquished the Sword of Despair.

[i]-Gavynn Brown[/i]

[Tasrai]

[COLOR=teal][SIZE=1][FONT=arial]O.O!!! I like that! I like it alot. Excellent!

I like the way you always ended it with the sword of dispair, also I like the way you described stuff. It has a nice little rhythym (sp?) This should do very well in your Language arts club...[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[Dragon Warrior]

Meh. I dunno about doing well in it since The Shadow Knight, IMO, sounds better than this one by far and that got 6th place :< But thanks anyways.

[AuroraDragon]

Gav, you've out done youself!
*is speeckless*
Far better then anything I could ever do!
How long it'd tkae ya?

[Dragon Warrior]

I dunno. I worked on it on and off within a night and partial school day. I hated the whole experience XD

Spelt speechless wrong :P

[KarmaOfChaos]

[color=deeppink]
Interesting. The word sword tends to give it a medieval feel, yet it's also centered on emotion, despair being the most obvious. The last stanza makes the poem happier but...somehow it doesn't seem to work with the rest of the mood of the poem. You have dark dark depressing dark and then all the sudden happy bright sunshine playtime! Which is odd.

A very good piece of work though. You write very well. Just try to unify your poems, bring them together. =)

-Karma
{PS - Love the banner.}
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[Dragon Warrior]

Well, the last part you posed as "happy bright sunshine playtime" (hehe) is purposed to say that life isn't all that bad. It's a different ending, yes :)