Guest NIKI12345 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Hey my family is having problems and mom says she is going to leave us because of me. She says it?s my fault that are family fights. She says I?m a trouble child. Yeah I make mistakes, but doesn?t everyone. I need some advice. What do I do? Also if ther is anyone going trough the same thing please post an tell your story. Its your time to speak. Here is a song that describes how I feel. [URL=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7OSqzchdks]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7OSqzchdks[/URL] :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AzureWolf Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 [COLOR=maroon]Mom's are always right, especially when it comes to their own kids. You are a problem, and so you need to fix yourself and listen to your mom. Unless you want your family to break up, start being your mother's boy (or girl). You can wallow in your own self-pity, or accept it and change it. Be a man (or a woman).[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalon Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 It's imposible to judge the situation without knowing you, your mom, and the rest of your family. What I do know, however, is that your mom is a person, who has her own faults and screw-ups, and that it's not being a mother to lash out at your own child like that. IUt's highly likely that she's using you as an excuse, an easy way out. And by the way, mothers are human beings. They are far from perfect. They can be just as screwed-up as any other person on Earth. They make mistakes with their children, and there are reasons why organizations like Child Protective Services exist. There is no such thing as always being right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissWem Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 [FONT=Arial][COLOR=DarkRed]Oh c'mon, no one child could really be the sole cause of the break up of an entire family. I can see it being a possibility that NIKI could've created more problems, but it wouldn't have truly been a family if every member hadn't made a contribution to the divide. Sure you can do what Azure says, or maybe instead of just submitting at least try to find out and understand what the real problem is. The thing is, if you understood what was going on, then you could potentially empathize with your mother which in it's own way woud help you to behave more considerately towards her feelings. Like, is your mother a solo-parent, if she is that's a huge stress all on it's own. If not then maybe she's having trouble with your Father and is taking it out on you. But then, I don't think I can give the best advice on family related issues. I've only just caught on that my family will never be 'together and happy' again, and frankly, it kinda smarts.[/COLOR][/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raina Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 [COLOR=Blue]I think that everyone here has a good point. You should talk to your mother and find out WHY she thinks that you're the problem. Then you should decide of you are the problem. If you don't think you are, then tell your mother WHY you think so. It's best to get everything out in the open. And I also think that you should talk to other members of your family too. See what they think of this whole situation. Everyone sees the same thing in a different way. And maybe they would know something that your mother doesn't tell you. I personally have been living under the guilt of keeping my parents unhappy. I've felt this way for about 15 years (so that's since I was 5 years old). Only my mother and my boy friend, I mean ex-boyfriend ( :animecry: ) knows the whole story. It's not the same things as you're going through, but it's similar... I'm sorry, but I'm not prepared to let the whole world know about it... What I'm still learning the hard way, is that life goes on. And that you have to live through pain, to find happiness. I think that you're a very strong person, publically telling people about your problem, and asking for help. You'll be alright. Good luck.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 [quote name='NIKI12345']Yeah I make mistakes, but doesn?t everyone.[/quote] See, that's what convinces me that your mom's probably right, to some degree. As soon as you admit you have problems, you justify them immediately to shift the blame of the situation off you. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that this is also the justification you've used to your parents when they confronted you about your problems. Now, I'm sure this situation isn't [i]just[/i] your fault, and it's quite possibly not even [i]mostly[/i] your fault (because your mom sounds like she's got some problems of her own), but I am inclined to suspect that you're making a major contribution. Instead of asking how to deal with your parents, you should start by changing how you act. Otherwise, nothing at all will change for the better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adahn Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 [size=2]Ok, I'll take a shot in the dark here. Your mom and dad fight about you. Your father supports you (perhaps unjustly), and your mother can't stop talking about what a problem you are. You are the object of their fights, but only on the surface. Deep down, they're fighting with each other, and they can't come to a compromise as to what to do with you. Your mom got particularly riled up one day, and decided to blame it all on you. Now, unless your mother is a coldhearted ***** who shouldn't have ever had children, she feels like **** for what she's said. Knowing this, do what you think is appropriate, unless you're a heartless bastard yourself. Go give her a hug and forgive her, and tell her you know she didn't mean what she said. If you're honest and show that you care, she should let up. If she still feels that you're the problem, then she should probably leave, because no child (you) deserves to grow up in an environment like that, even if you are a nasty little ****.[/size] [size=2][/size] [size=2]Now, as for you. Even though your dad supports you and doesn't want to punish you, take some responsibility for your actions. It's time to grow up and stop "making mistakes". They're not mistakes, they're stupid decisions, and you need to start making some smart ones.[/size] [size=2][/size] [size=2]My parents got into a lot of fights about my brother, the troublemaker. I'm sure they even came close to breaking up, but I don't think they ever blamed it on him. The best thing my brother could have done was to stop being a complete asshole all the time, but that didn't happen, and my parents reconciled their differences. If you really want to keep your family together, quit being such an *** (and you know you are one).[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NIKI12345 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 [QUOTE=Adahn][size=2]Ok, I'll take a shot in the dark here. Your mom and dad fight about you. Your father supports you (perhaps unjustly), and your mother can't stop talking about what a problem you are. You are the object of their fights, but only on the surface. Deep down, they're fighting with each other, and they can't come to a compromise as to what to do with you. Your mom got particularly riled up one day, and decided to blame it all on you. Now, unless your mother is a coldhearted ***** who shouldn't have ever had children, she feels like **** for what she's said. Knowing this, do what you think is appropriate, unless you're a heartless bastard yourself. Go give her a hug and forgive her, and tell her you know she didn't mean what she said. If you're honest and show that you care, she should let up. If she still feels that you're the problem, then she should probably leave, because no child (you) deserves to grow up in an environment like that, even if you are a nasty little ****.[/size] [size=2][/size] [size=2]Now, as for you. Even though your dad supports you and doesn't want to punish you, take some responsibility for your actions. It's time to grow up and stop "making mistakes". They're not mistakes, they're stupid decisions, and you need to start making some smart ones.[/size] [size=2][/size] [size=2]My parents got into a lot of fights about my brother, the troublemaker. I'm sure they even came close to breaking up, but I don't think they ever blamed it on him. The best thing my brother could have done was to stop being a complete asshole all the time, but that didn't happen, and my parents reconciled their differences. If you really want to keep your family together, quit being such an *** (and you know you are one).[/size][/QUOTE] Your excatly right because my mom like to fight about how bad I am and my dad disagrees with her. So not only does my mom get mad at me, but so does my dad because he had a fight about me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaryanna Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 [COLOR=Teal][quote name='NIKI12345']Your exactly right because my mom like to fight about how bad I am and my dad disagrees with her. So not only does my mom get mad at me, but so does my dad because he had a fight about me.[/quote]No he's completely wrong. No matter what you have done, on some level your parents are supposed to be the adult and blaming you for their problems is anything but grown up. I?m sure you make mistakes like anyone else but if your age is correct in your profile then for your mother to claim she is leaving the family because of you is downright selfish. Her problem is she is taking her anger out on you when the problem is she is angry because your father doesn?t agree with her assessment that you are bad. Maybe you are, but in the end, if she does leave, it?s her choice regardless of what?s going on.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2010DigitalBoy Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 [COLOR=DarkOrange]Kill your mom. That's what I'd do. Seriously, though. Your mom is being rediculous. A problem is born in all those who suffer first before it's invokers gain control. Anything your mom does at this point is her own fault. She's definetely stupid, I'll say that much... seriously, yall may need a bit of counseling. (Not that it protects you from the inevitable rerouting of your ways to your path of apathy.) Let her go. I wonder if she's actually cheeting or something.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eleanor Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 [QUOTE=NIKI12345]Hey my family is having problems and mom says she is going to leave us because of me. She says it?s my fault that are family fights. She says I?m a trouble child. Yeah I make mistakes, but doesn?t everyone. I need some advice. What do I do? [/QUOTE] [color=dimgray] Well, what kind of trouble do you cause anyway? [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachmaninoff Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 [quote name='Lunox][color=dimgray'] Well, what kind of trouble do you cause anyway? [/color][/quote]Exactly, more information as to what is really going on is needed, at least for a more valid opinion on my part. For all I know you could be into illegal drugs, or as Aaryanna stated your mom could be using you as a scapegoat in order to lash out at your father. Based on what little you have told us, I'm inclined to believe that your parents need counseling or else they are headed towards getting a divorce. Beyond that I have nothing else to say as I haven't a clue as to what is really going on as your information is far to vague for me to really know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 [quote name='NIKI12345']Your excatly right because my mom like to fight about how bad I am and my dad disagrees with her. So not only does my mom get mad at me, but so does my dad because he had a fight about me.[/quote] I see no response to any suggestions that you should be the one to try change first, and can only assume that you really don't intend to get this problem solved if it inconveniences you in any way. So someone give her the answer she wants and we'll let this end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NIKI12345 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 [quote name='John']I see no response to any suggestions that you should be the one to try change first, and can only assume that you really don't intend to get this problem solved if it inconveniences you in any way. So someone give her the answer she wants and we'll let this end.[/quote] Well I said I was sorry and I didn't mean to be stupid. I'm thirteen no I'm not takeing drugs. No my mom wouldn't be able to get a guy that my mom could cheat with from how old she is. No I don't believe in killing or taking someones life. That is Gods choice when its peoples time. Most of the problem is caused by ****ing chores. I asked her its because I didn't bring my cups down stairs. So she is going to leave us all, but she didn't tell my dad. She made sure when knew though. I really want her to stay, but I can't force her. Its her choice. She doesn't have a job so who knows how many days she will survie on her own. I worried that I would not be able to support my family. My dad works all day long. So I don't really care what she does, but I worried about how I'm going to take care of the family. Its going to be so hard with my five year old brother. Yeah I think its time we close this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adahn Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 [quote name='Aaryanna][color=teal']No he's completely wrong.[/color][/quote] [size=2]Would you care to elaborate on how I'm wrong, seeing as I agree with everything you've said? I find it insulting and disrespectful to be dismissed without any sort of explanation. Also, I would honestly like to know what you think is wrong with what I said.[/size] [size=2][/size] [size=2]Thanks,[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalon Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 [quote name='NIKI12345']No my mom wouldn't be able to get a guy that my mom could cheat with from how old she is.[/quote] First, sweetie, people can cheat and have relationships no matter how old they are. Just because your parents seem old (or if they are actually pretty high in years) does not mean they can't find another adult to have some sort of relationship with. Ever hear of J. Howard Marshall? Second, if your mother tells you she's leaving your family only because you didn't pick up some cups, she's using you as an excuse and as an object of blame. That's it. Unless they were some sort of antique china teacups her grandfather died retrieving from a burning house and his last words were "Take care of the teacups!", then it's not really the cups. You just have to reconcile with the fact that your mother is not just a mother, but a person. If she blames you, then it's her problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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