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No more Mr. Nice Guy?


lea
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[quote name='lea']Would you ever be suspicious of a person who seemed a bit [I]too[/I] nice?

If so, give reasons as to why.[/QUOTE]

[color=indigo]Like you? Are you a sneaky Canadian spy? Huh, huh?

Anyways, I am not usually suspicious of really nice people but they do annoy me for no logical reason. I really hate nice, non-judgmental people?the least a nice person could do is have a ?holier than thou? personality.[/color]
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[size=1]There's that saying "watch out for the silent ones", well I believe it goes more like "keep a close eye out on the extremely nice people". This is a perfect opportunity to rant, and make a point!

My fiance's mother. Now, I don't know whether it's set in a stone somewheres that the bride and the groom's mother are NOT supposed to get along, but for some reason it is a trend I see and am experiencing. I wish I could say that she's the ultimate monster-in-law who destroys your wedding dress, or completely takes over your responsibilities, or shows up at your place to clean your kitchen....I wish I could say that's how she is, because it'd make it easier. BUT, she's not. She's that very nice person. Seriously, she's a nice lady...which makes me writhe and squirm with distrust and an extreme passion of dislike/hate.

She smiles and does nice things, but in a blink of an eye, she'll say one little thing that'll get under my skin...and she knows it. I swear. But Mike thinks I'm over-reacting, because she's not a "bad person", she's "nice". UGH!!

It's something I can't fully explain, I can feel it. And there are other people out there who are really nice, but I know they'd turn around and talk smack about me as soon as I leave the room. I just don't trust nice people too well because they're unpredictable.

At least you know a CORNHOLE is going to be a CORNHOLE.[/size]
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[quote name='Jeremiah']Some people are genuinely nice though. I'd go with my gut and trust them until I have my trust broken by them, if that ever happens.[/QUOTE]Same here, especially since those people who turn out to actually not be nice, well at that point you know it was a facade. But the ones that are... They make it worth while. :) That and it seems silly to be suspicious of someone who is nice without anything to really back it up.
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[FONT="Arial"][COLOR="Sienna"]I dated a nice guy once.

The only thing that made it really intolerable was that he was somewhat effeminate so not only was he the "nice" one in the relationship he was also the woman in it and it just wasn't cool.

But seriously, this guy is honest to god nice, for example, someone snuck into the back area of his work place and stole his sleeping bag and a couple of other of his things and left the crap loads of free food lying (i.e bottles of drinks and snacks) and says:

"If I get my hands on that guy I want to do something terrible to him".

That's probably the most angry thing I have ever heard him say right after, "there's a chick a work with that really annoys me... it's not that she's bad at her job she just gets assigned the jobs I want to do and that she's not so good at".

I don't care if I'm not nice, if I'm nice then it's because I intend to be, but being around his niceness makes me feel bad about not being nice. :animestun [/COLOR][/FONT]
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[B]MissWemm [/B], I don't know what to say except that, that nice guy sounds pretty adorable to me. lol. I guess that's why I like hanging around nice little old ladies. You know, the ones you want to call Grandma.

Yeah, there's a nice to the point where it feels..... inadequate. That weird feeling you get when that person is always smiling and throwing themselves to do favors for you. But you know what? That person's just nice. And I'm fine with that.
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[COLOR="RoyalBlue"][FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"][quote name='lea']Would you ever be suspicious of a person who seemed a bit [I]too[/I] nice?

If so, give reasons as to why.[/QUOTE]Only if I had a reason to think they were presenting a front, otherwise. No. Also, why are you asking? Is there someone you're around that seems too nice to be true?

Anyway, I agree with Jeremiah and Rach, it just seems pointless to distrust someone just because they happen to be nice. lol Though I'm talking about someone who really is nice, not someone who does things to make themselves look nice when in reality they're backstabbing and vindictive. [/FONT][/COLOR]
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[quote name='visualkei'][B]MissWem [/B], I don't know what to say except that, that nice guy sounds pretty adorable to me. lol. I guess that's why I like hanging around nice little old ladies. You know, the ones you want to call Grandma.

Yeah, there's a nice to the point where it feels..... inadequate. That weird feeling you get when that person is always smiling and throwing themselves to do favors for you. But you know what? That person's just nice. And I'm fine with that.[/QUOTE]

[FONT="Arial"][COLOR="Sienna"]He[I] is adorable[/I] but you realize there's a fine line between being a nice and being crazy. He's kinda like when Adam Sandler played that doormat guy in Anger Management. Chances are if you get kicked in the nads you'd kick back, he wouldn't and would probably ask the person to go away because he found the experience to be unpleasant.

I guess I just can't stand the fact that his niceness makes me feel bad about not being a nicer person. I get an inferiority complex, that and I haven't even the heart to make snide remarks at him, which is saying something since I'm pretty snide to everyone at some point.

Although no, I wouldn't be suspicious of any of his actions. Faux nice people are actually quite easy to spot.[/COLOR][/FONT]
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I have a buddy that's a nice guy. I generally differentiate between 'nice' person and 'good' person. He's a 'nice' dude.

He's the captain of the V-club, and he lives on the corner of Cheese St. and Corn Ave.

What's weird is he's dating a very close friend of mine now, and she's the type who normally shoots for the ******** in relationships. I just don't get it. He's the polar opposite of her normal fare.

But it's a good move on her part. I mean, he is a nice guy.

-Justin
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[quote name='SunfallE'][COLOR="RoyalBlue"][FONT="Lucida Sans Unicode"] Is there someone you're around that seems too nice to be true?
[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Friend A is suspicious of friend B's boyfriend. He's incredibly nice and goes [I]way[/I] out of his way to be sweet to her. I guess friend A sees friend B's boyfriend as giving to a fault, and since he doesn't seem to have issues or anything, it makes friend A very suspicious of his niceness, like he might have an ulterior motive or something. Thinking about that scenario had me wonder if the general populace would normally become suspicious of a person who was "too nice".
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[quote name='lea']Friend A is suspicious of friend B's boyfriend. He's incredibly nice and goes [I]way[/I] out of his way to be sweet to her. I guess friend A sees friend B's boyfriend as giving to a fault, and since he doesn't seem to have issues or anything, it makes friend A very suspicious of his niceness, like he might have an ulterior motive or something. Thinking about that scenario had me wonder if the general populace would normally become suspicious of a person who was "too nice".[/QUOTE]

[color=indigo]Ah, well if that is the scenario, I wouldn't be surprised if Friend A isn't just jealous of the relationship between Friend B and her boyfriend.

It is typical for a friend to become jealous in this scenario and then attempt to mask that jealousy with suspicion and even outright contempt towards the new party. There is a psychological term for this behavior but it escapes me.

Doesn't mean that really nice people don't give me the willies. Not as much as midgets and clowns but still...[/color]
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[quote name='Heaven's Cloud'][color=indigo]Ah, well if that is the scenario, I wouldn't be surprised if Friend A isn't just jealous of the relationship between Friend B and her boyfriend.

It is typical for a friend to become jealous in this scenario and then attempt to mask that jealousy with suspicion and even outright contempt towards the new party. There is a psychological term fir this behavior but it escapes me.[/color][/QUOTE]
[font=Arial]Aw, man, please remember the term! This describes my situation perfectly with my last girlfriend. One of my good friends (girl) became extremely distrustful of my girlfriend and insinuated that she was a sneaky and hurtful person behind her smiles. It got really annoying.[/font]
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[FONT="Franklin Gothic Medium"] I see no reason to be suspicious of nice people...and I'm a really nice person by default. I'm not OVERLY nice, but I am a really nice guy. I don't see any reason to be suspicious of others boyfriends cause they seem "too nice". I think that's being really judgemental and assuming the worst from everyone when in fact, people should be revelling in the fact that there are genuiunely nice people in this world. I mean would your friend rather have it that her friends BF was a complete horse's ***? I mean, cause that is definitely the worse of two evils in my opinion...

I don't suspect nice people of being too nice. I tend to trust people in the Rachaminoff way, "Trust you until you break my trust". It sucks to try and keep people's at arm's length because it seems too good to be true. Why don't you just accept it and go with the flow, then if something happens...then you can be suspicious of others. But until then, it isn't right to judge someone before you truly get to know them.[/FONT]
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[font=franklin gothic medium]I definitely think that one problem overly-nice people face is that they risk becoming a doormat.

I mean that in a general sense. You can be polite and diplomatic, of course, but sometimes you do have to say "no" or simply defend what your position.

You see this sort of thing all the time even here on OB. If I (or any staff member really) were always bending over backwards to please every single person, the place would be a total mess. Sometimes you just have to make a decision and if some people don't like it...that's just bad luck. You have to be able to exercise judgement without worrying too much about a small minority disagreeing.

I think sometimes if you're unable to do that, you will be at a major disadvantage. What if you've been working somewhere for years and you never ask for a pay rise? You may deserve one and be entitled to one, but if you don't have the ability to just put yourself forward once in a while, you will likely never get it.

I do see people who are like this and sometimes I wonder how they manage certain things in life. [/font]
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[COLOR="goldenrod"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][quote name='lea']Would you ever be suspicious of a person who seemed a bit [I]too[/I] nice?[/QUOTE]Probably not since usually people who are fake can't maintain the facade of pretending to be nice. That and it's more fun to accept people for who they are and let the rest sort itself out on it's own. Sure it means that it can really hurt when someone turns out to be a jerk, but I'd still rather not assume someone is up to something if they are nice. [/FONT][/COLOR]
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