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worst movies you have ever seen

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Guest Hyde
THE BIRDS
i had to watch it in english class and well lets just say that i got some :sleep:

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The only terrible, horrible, no good, very bad movie that comes to mind is the 1988, BBC Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. My mom brought this home from Blockbuster one night many years ago, and made my sisters and me watch it with her. I didn't appreciate how terrible it was then, but when I was slightly more aware of the obvious in sixth grade, my EVILEVILEBIL reading teacher made the class watch it after forcing us to read the book. Oh. My. Grobs.

There are plenty of baaaad things about this movie.

1. The "animals" similar kinds of creatures. Aslan was a pretty good visual, but unfortunately the production ran out of money after they built the giant puppet. The fauns are basically men wearing cheap Halloween horns, furry chaps, and walking as if they are playing Limbo. The beavers resemble people wearing furry garbage bags and gardening gloves, with brown minstrel paint on their faces and cheap Halloween prosthetic teeth. Maugrim was extremely painful to look at, though maybe not as painful as the beavers; wearing an obvious wolf costume and cheap Halloween wolf nose. The man who played him didn't even know how wolves howl, apparently, for he often just squinted his eyes, reared back, and screamed. Then, of course, there were Aslan's winged creatures and the White Witch's minions, which were just cartoons transposed on to the live action movie. >=( how unfortunate.
2. The acting is atrocious. ESPECIALLY in the White Witch, who used operatic diction and yelled all too often. If she were re-enacting Greek theatre, it might've been acceptable; but this movie is DEFINITELY NOT Greek theatre. Besides, there weren't any women actors in Greek theatre anyway, so she's NOT re-enacting it. Lucy is a quite make-funable child, with (I quote from a review I once read) "an overbite that would make the beavers jealous." If you thought the [spoiler]battle between Peter and Maugrim in the remake was bad, the one in this version is tons worse. Melodramatic acting, poor editing, and a super short sequence that seemed like the director just told the actors to "pretend you're fighting."[/spoiler]
An example of the Witch's, and others', bad acting:

[spoiler]Witch: WHO HAS GIVEN YOU, ALL, THESE, THINGS?
Fox: Please your majesty...f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-father Chr-Chri-Christmas.
Witch: HE HAS NOT BEEN HERE! HE, CANNOT HAVE BEEN HERE! ...SAAAAY that you are lyieeeng, and (blahblahblah).
Squirrel: HE HAS HE HAS HE HAS!
Witch: *screeeeeeeeeam*
Edmund: NODON'T
*the witch flicks her wand, some strange music plays, and the very next scene is a stone version of the animals at the table*
Witch: Assssssfoooorrryooooou...*she hits Edmund* LET THAT BE A LESSON, TO ASK FAVORS, OF SPIES, AND TRAITORS *spits*[/spoiler]

I apologize for caps, but it was the only way to accurately portray the Witch's way of "speaking."

3. There are five or six extras that roam around randomly. If Narnia was supposed to be a land full of creatures and other people, it's not. It's just not.


This is me, spoofing a scene from this movie:

Beaver: Are you a Son of Adam or a Daugter of Eve?
Peter: You're wearing a beaver suit. I don't think I can trust you.

So, lololololololololol. It's impossible to enjoy the movie for the movie, but to enjoy it for it's badness.

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Worse and most abhorred movie: Kung-Pow.
It was a pathetic, pointless movie with a half-baked plot and no character development. Music? what music? There was none, that I noticed. It was NOT a parody of Chinese kung fu movies but rather an cinematic insult which disgusted me to no end.

Second: Freddy VS Jason.
Those two used to be the most feared serial killers. The movie killed them. the plot was weak and near pointless. Characters die and there's no change in them. Random murders here and there and I guess they said, "we have a movie" and decided to earn a few bucks off the public. The West has lost their touch with horror flims with the excessive gore and violence. This movie is a disgrace compared to the classics or even recent movies (Texas Chainsaw Massacre). A real horro film attacks the psyche suspense and shock not the stomach with nausea.

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the worst movies i´ve seen yet would have to be:
The Village
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (both remake and old)
Hide and Seek (it was like a copy of The Secret Window)
The Boogeyman (Crappiest and cheesiest scary movie i´ve seen, thats cuzz i´m scared of EVERYTHING)
Bambi (did his mom have to die??)
Uptown Girls (dont ask)
and......
that´s all i can think of at the top of my head...

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[COLOR=Navy][SIZE=1][B]A Nightmare On Elm Street 3[/B]: WTF? I am the only wizard elf king!

[B]Mr. & Mrs. Smith[/B]: Being stuck in a wooden hut with wooden actors is not fun in my fun book.

Any Steven Segal movie is horrible. He can't act or move for that matter. He's gotten so fat all the action scenes are in slo-mo just so it looks like he is performing something cool. Which, he's never done in his film carreer.

[B]Total Recall[/B], [B]Junior[/B],[B] Twins[/B], [B]True Lies[/B], [B]Terminator 3[/B]... Mr. Schwartzenegger...you're fired.

Then there was that independent film. The acting was atrocious, the dialouge was bad, the film and sound quality seemed like something that exits a monkey's red behind every few hours, and the plot...don't even get me started. What movie you ask? [B]One Night in Paris.[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]

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[QUOTE=luzkage]Second: Freddy VS Jason.
Those two used to be the most feared serial killers. The movie killed them. the plot was weak and near pointless. Characters die and there's no change in them. Random murders here and there and I guess they said, "we have a movie" and decided to earn a few bucks off the public. The West has lost their touch with horror flims with the excessive gore and violence. This movie is a disgrace compared to the classics or even recent movies (Texas Chainsaw Massacre). A real horro film attacks the psyche suspense and shock not the stomach with nausea.[/QUOTE]

Freddy vs. Jason wasn't meant to be an "actual" horror film... it was made to pit Freddy and Jason against each other while killing a bunch of people along the way. Fan service, basically. If you don't like the movie, then that's perfectly fine, but I don't think that anybody should go into it expecting an intense, psychological horror film lol. You'll just be disappointed.

And the person mentioning Hitchcock's films alongside The Omen IV... man, I don't think you could me more wrong lol. They're anything but "uninteresting and poorly executed" to me. The "uninteresting" part is certainly arguable, since different people find different things interesting, but "poorly executed"? I don't think so. I'd tend to think that since Hitchcock's style has become so incredibly influential, then he must have done [i]something[/i] right. Just a hunch. :)

Anyway, when it comes to bad movies, I'm usually a good judge of what's likely to be bad and what's likely to be good before I see it. So, I tend to dislike films more that end up being disappointing to me rather than out and out bad. 48 Hrs., for instance; I could just not get into it [i]at all[/i]. I have no idea why - I love Eddie Murphy, he's playing a real smart-*** character, it should be great, right? Yet I wasn't really laughing at all, and everything else that was going on was completely uninteresting. I was so disappointed with 48 Hrs., because I was expecting a good movie.

History of the World: Part I was also incredibly disappointing. It's a funny movie, but Mel Brooks' other movies blow it out of the water. Even in Mel's other lower-level films (Spaceballs, Robin Hood: Men In Tights, etc.) there's at least a decently funny story to go along with all of the jokes... History of the World doesn't really have much of a story at all. I knew that going in, of course, but I still don't like it. When you put out films like The Producers, Blazing Saddles, and Young Frankenstein, I think that's a sign that you're capable of writing a damn good story along with being funny. Some of the "sketches" fell flat for me, too... the whole Louis XVI bit barely made me laugh at all. I didn't laugh very much at the Caveman bit either. To be fair, I [i]did[/i] like the sketch in Rome and I thought that the Inquisition song was funny. Still, though, that's barely half the movie lol.

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The film that i absolutly HATED...the most..EVER...was "the day after tomorrow"..i thought that it was far too long...utter rubbish and even though the graphics were good it was very predictable and i wanted a MAIN character to die...*sigh* Alas it didnt happen and everyone was happy in the end..as i said i didnt like this film..at all

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Mortal Kombat Annihilation - in a word, bad. Johnny Cage dies at the very beginning and afterwards, none of the good guys die. Most of the charachters were utterly annoying. There were a couple good fight scenes, but most were rather short and uninteresting. The CG was terrible. The story was utter crap. I'd still watch it though -__-

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[quote name='Billie_Forever']The film that i absolutly HATED...the most..EVER...was "the day after tomorrow"..i thought that it was far too long...utter rubbish and even though the graphics were good it was very predictable and i wanted a MAIN character to die...*sigh* Alas it didnt happen and everyone was happy in the end..as i said i didnt like this film..at all[/quote]

That movie was hilarious... The cold is chasing them and they run into a room and stop it... by... closing the door. Funny funny stuff.

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[size=1][color=crimson] I've seen some shockers in my time, make that, I've see [b]a lot[/b] of shockers, so I'll just give you the cream of the crop.

1. Racing Stripes: This movie was so awful and bland, I would pay to nver see it again, and I mean that, the dialogue is so woodedn, boring old underdog clich'e under the guise of a talking zebra, wannabe-horse.

I was expecting so much more, but in the end, got what I deserved. This could have been so much more, had it starred and focused on the only character of note, the gangster goose.

2. Poseidon Adventure (TV Remake) I don't know where to begin with this gratingly awful piece of crap, maybe it's the total void of suspense that the first movie portrayed, or the terrorist subplot because a 90 ft Tsunami isn't believeable, and you have to take out anything and everythigbn these days that requires a suyspension of reality and subsitute it with gritty real things. The lack of support for the 2 dimensional and wooden characters also made this movie an unemotional bore, then again, it was direct-to-tv movie.

3. Spanglish: Spanglish was crap, personified
Marketed as a comedy, this movie had my expectations high of seeing a good, culture-clash comedy. instead, we get a lathering of tears and drama. That this movie was in fact, a drama, wasn't an issue, had it been a good drama it would have been okay, but it wasn't good at comedy, and just as unfulfilling being viewed as drama. It wass low and boorish, and the second movie I have ever considered walking out of.

4. Runaway Bride: Don't ask me why I saw this movie, maybe it was out of sheer boredom, which was anathema to my goal, since I was more bored in the theatre than out of it, at leas when I was outside the theater there was the exciting prospects of wonderign what to do and watching paint dry.

To this day, the only movie I have ever walked out of.

[/size][/color]

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I would have to say that new movie that came out called Wolf Creek, first of all there's no killing in the 1st hour of the movie (its only and 1 1/2 hours). Everyone in the theater we were in were just talking and waiting for somehting to happen. ALso you could hardly understand what the acters were saying because they were Australian and talked in really low voices.....dont see this movie!!!

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[quote name='The Newfie']That movie was hilarious... The cold is chasing them and they run into a room and stop it... by... closing the door. Funny funny stuff.[/quote]


I know..what flipping p*** take!!...Like the cold would go.."Oh no..i better stop the main character has closed the door on me!!!"..stupid freaky rubbish film...*deep breath* Im calm now.hehe

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[COLOR=SeaGreen][quote name='Billie_Forever']I know..what flipping p*** take!!...Like the cold would go.."Oh no..i better stop the main character has closed the door on me!!!"..stupid freaky rubbish film...*deep breath* Im calm now.hehe[/quote]

Yes... it freezes the Empire State Building, it's that cold. We're talking about instant-death cold... and they thwart it by throwing some books on the fire and closing a door! It's hilarious!

Another movie that blew: Kill Bill Vol. 2

Ok, Kill Bill Vol. 1 was ok. It had some pretty decent violent scenes that were very entertaining. The plot was marginal but whatever, that wasn't the point. Vol. 2 doesn't have 150 ninjas getting slaughtered, it didn't have samurai duels and spiked balls on chains. No, it had lame things - lame things like, for example, her SWIMMING out of 6-ft grave. Now I'm not an expert on this type of thing... but that makes no ******* sense. One of the stupidest scenes in movie history. Not to mention that a large chunk of the movie is spent in the presence of the corniest Chinaman I've seen since I was a wee boy, and the painful acting of Uma Thurman. Quinten Terinteno... check and mate. Hit your stride with Pulp Fiction... this new stuff... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... Hostel doesn't look to amazing either...

An Honourable mention to Les Boys IV... ok, Les Boys I was pretty good, funny as hell... Les Boys II was ok... Les Boys III was the exact same as I and II... and IV, altough pretty funny, was the same thing. It's a french movie that, as far as I know, exists soley in Quebec, so I don't blame you for not seeing it.

'Da Newf

Oowatanite[/COLOR]

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Guest MaisonDetre
I'm going to continue the Day After Tomorrow hate. . . . they burnt books when they had all that wooden furniture and bookshelves, all which would have burnt longer and warmer. Of course you're going to have to keep throwing books out there.

Secondly, the guy climbing on the side of the frozen boat with no gloves on? His hands would have stuck just like the kid's tongue in A Christmas Story.

Worst movie I ever saw in the theater: Derailed. I can't believe Jennifer Anniston left Brad Pitt for that.

The bad guy is like 5'4" and he's supposedly beating the crap out of CLIVE OWEN, who is over six feet tall and one bad mutha. Totally unbelievable! And they killed Rza! What's up with that? He's a better actor than fiddy.

I probably would've been better off seeing Chicken Little.

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[size=1][font=georgia]It was a movie with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in it. I don't know about any of you, but I dislike Tom Cruise very much. I don't think he's really all that 'talented', but don't take my opinion seriously, since I do not really watch movies.

Far and Away it was called. It was alright in the beginning, and I didn't mind it, but as it went on, it just got dumb. And at the end, [spoiler]when the horse fell on Cruise, and he died by hitting his head on the stone, Kidman was crying and all and then the camera backs away, and then suddenly does a close up and he is somehow 'revived'.[/spoiler] It was stupid. I had to watch it in English class, sadly.[/font][/size]

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Guest lilredsippycup
Im really sad to say to say it because I had been looking forward to this movie for almost 3 years.
But Memoirs of a Geisha was the WORST movie I had ever seen.
I can understand not following the book. But the movie made no sense. They didn't bother to explain anything about was the mizage was, what a donna was, and nothing about the schooling, the kimono or their hair. Eventhough Mameha said that Geisha were not prostitute that what they came off as.
The book was so full detail and lush description that sadly the movie lacked.

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[size=1]I, for the record, thought that the [b]Rocky Horror Picture Show[/b] was the absolute biggest piece of trash ever to hit a screen. The lack of plot and all out absurdity gave me a big "WTF" look throughout the entire thing. Don't waste your time on this one.[/size]

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there?s a lot of movies that suck but the top 3 that I think suck(even though some people i know thought it was really good) is the Ring and the Ring 2, also Red Eye. but if people like them that?s them everyone has different taste. I just thought that those 3 movies were going to be scary but they weren?t. Like for ring 2 when those deer came out that was lame, but like a said everyone has different taste.

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[quote name='Retribution][size=1]I, for the record, thought that the [b]Rocky Horror Picture Show[/b'] was the absolute biggest piece of trash ever to hit a screen. The lack of plot and all out absurdity gave me a big "WTF" look throughout the entire thing. Don't waste your time on this one.[/size][/quote]

*falls over laughing* It was never meant to be "good" or have a "plott". You really missed the point of the movie and the concept of midnight movies.

Anyway probably the worst movie I have seen has to be those stupid Sci-Fi monster movies. They were not that great and even if they were B type movies they just didn't succeed to be such. I just thought they were just plain awfull.

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[quote name='childofthemorgu']Anyway probably the worst movie I have seen has to be those stupid Sci-Fi monster movies. They were not that great and even if they were B type movies they just didn't succeed to be such. I just thought they were just plain awfull.[/quote]

One particularly bad one I watched, for as long as I could without becoming braindead, is Reptilian.

Giant monster Godzilla ripoffs, controlled by evil space aliens with disturbingly good English and over-exhagerated body movements, fought by clique-wielding Americans in jetpacks with 3x the corny lines of a sitcom star.

Oh, and the big Godzilla ripoff switches sides, and fights the usual bigger monster that seems superior in every way until it dies. Aliens fly away, 3 points for originality. Or not.


Then you have Triple X 2. "God bless America"? Whatever you say Ice Cube, but most respectable actors use their real names, y'know. And they can usually act, strangely enough.

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