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Guest Kaise

So, i'm going to run away from home.

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Guest Kaise
[QUOTE=Gavin][size=1]Interesting, most interesting.

In the current situation, I genuinely don't know if running away will solve the problem, or just make it a hell of a lot worse. One curious thing that stuck out at me is that you don't want the police to find you, is there any particular reason for that ? I know you might think they'll just throw you back in with your father but if you explain your reasons to them, they might allow you to speak to social worker and perhaps even put you in touch with someone who could help you.

When I read the original post I admit I thought this was just some fifteen year old who was overreacting and going through the typical "I have my father" period. However given you say he's been physically abusive to you, then running away might not be the most efficient option, you could always report him to the police and look to be emancipated under the law, though certain states will only grant emancipation when you're sixteen. Either way I'm not going to give you advice on running away as I've never believed it to be a suitable solution to the situation. Go to the police and see what you can do from there.[/size][/QUOTE]
Ai, as i've said, suicide is a last-resort thing. Him strangling me, i tried to call a social worker, but they said, "if it happens again, then we'll do something". I don't want the police to find me because they'll put me back in with him. I can understand what you meant by that. I've hated the guy since i can remember. I'd like to emancipate myself, but you have to be "abused or neglected". and have proof of it. I have no proof of such abuse, so...yeah. I've tried going to the police, they can't do anything about it...or so they say.

[QUOTE=? Nomad Tical ?]*Slaps 'Matt' in the face* not good! You don't want to kill your dad! Oh, wait, you meant you were going to run away in the summer :animeswea I feel dumb. But still, why wait that long? You said you were staying with a friend, right?

Yeah, well running away isn't so bad when your 15. You can get work and stay in a hotel, anythings better than being with that sadistic freak bastard.

Yknow I always thought it would be fun to live on the streets. I plan on living at least 6 months like that... Id like to experience that.[/QUOTE]
Mainly, because i want to graduate the 10th grade.

I also want to explore the world. Mainly, because the girl i like is also in the same state as my friend, i want to visit her along the way.

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[quote name='Kaise']Ai, as i've said, suicide is a last-resort thing. Him strangling me, i tried to call a social worker, but they said, "if it happens again, then we'll do something". I don't want the police to find me because they'll put me back in with him. I can understand what you meant by that. I've hated the guy since i can remember. I'd like to emancipate myself, but you have to be "abused or neglected". and have proof of it. I have no proof of such abuse, so...yeah. I've tried going to the police, they can't do anything about it...or so they say.[/quote]


Yeah, well i didn't get to read that, sorry!
I'm starting to understand more though...
geez, how the hell can you live with that phsyco??
Honestly, at first i just thought you were doing this cuz of the typical
"I hate my dad, he didnt let me go to-" crap...but...whoa...
I'd probably want to run away too..
I have a question (not sure if you've mentioned it, but):
is he your step-dad or biological dad?
...

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I'm afraid I have to say to not do it. I understand how things can be horrible at home. I worked a tragedy relief counciling center for a long time and heard a lot of pretty horrible stories and knew many people who lived on the street as a runaway. Hell I knew a kid who lived under the the tampa causeway bridge out here for three weeks.

In the end there lives were never better for it. If things are really that hard, then yes, get out of there, but you don't have to turn to the streets. Once your 15 your free to choose where you want to live by law. You can stay at a church or even get emancipated from them. There are government programs to help make sure this works for you, but the street and open road is not the answer.

Just look to someone near by. A church, a police station, even a school. These are just a few places that will not only take you in, but help you get out of an uglly situation you don't wan to be in anymore. If you get yourself emancipated, then you can move out and live with a friend, a teacher, someone you trust, who can adopt and look after you so you can finish high school. I think that would be your best choice. Do what you have to inorder to get the hell out of there, but don't go to the road.

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[COLOR=Sienna][FONT=Times New Roman]Ya know what, if you want to run away, just go. If you really truely wanted to go than you wouldn't come to some random internet site to ask for advice knowning the kind of response you would get would not help you even a little bit. It's obvious that you really don't want a 'Dont do it!' response, so why did you come to a site like this when all you'd end up doing is argueing with people about your motives and the like. Unless you knew this would happen and really just wanted a chance to tell somebody, anybody, about how ****** your life is, you really aren't going to find what you're looking for here.

All I can do at this point is shake my head.[/FONT][/COLOR]

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Guest Kaise
[QUOTE=Ziggy Stardust][COLOR=Sienna][FONT=Times New Roman]Ya know what, if you want to run away, just go. If you really truely wanted to go than you wouldn't come to some random internet site to ask for advice knowning the kind of response you would get would not help you even a little bit. It's obvious that you really don't want a 'Dont do it!' response, so why did you come to a site like this when all you'd end up doing is argueing with people about your motives and the like. Unless you knew this would happen and really just wanted a chance to tell somebody, anybody, about how ****** your life is, you really aren't going to find what you're looking for here.

All I can do at this point is shake my head.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

I asked for advice, this wasn't just an announcement. I'm fairly new here, and i was hoping i could get some help.

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Like I said before, running away won't help you. Turn to someone else, someone who can help. Your 15, you can be emancipated and turned over to the custody of someone who will look after you. At 15 you can choose where you want to live, but living on the street is only going to bring you more problems, I already said this if you botherd to listen to me.

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Guest Kaise
[quote name='Starwind']Like I said before, running away won't help you. Turn to someone else, someone who can help. Your 15, you can be emancipated and turned over to the custody of someone who will look after you. At 15 you can choose where you want to live, but living on the street is only going to bring you more problems, I already said this if you botherd to listen to me.[/quote]

I can't be emancipated. I have no proof of being "abused or neglected." And i already have a place to stay, and i won't be out on the street.

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Then get there. Like I said, If you have someone who is willing to take you in, at 15, you can legally chose where you want to live, as long as there is a consenting adult who is willing to vouch for you. At 15 your considerd at the age where you can consent on where you want to live. When you little you can't, but now your old enough to chose.

Look at me. I have three familes, or at least the way I count it. I have my mom, which is who I live with now, my dad, who I visit every once in a while, and my friend Jason and his family. At my age, if you can get a lega adult of 21 to consent you can live anywhere you really want to. Your at the age where you can, and the law will let you.

I wouldn't have to give a reason to leave my moms care if I really wanted to live with either of the other two. I'm, and you are too, old enough to chose where I wan to live as long as one of the adults agrees. If your second choice is another part of your family that's even better, because custody will always favor your choice.

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[QUOTE=Ziggy Stardust][COLOR=Sienna][FONT=Times New Roman]Ya know what, if you want to run away, just go. If you really truely wanted to go than you wouldn't come to some random internet site to ask for advice knowning the kind of response you would get would not help you even a little bit. It's obvious that you really don't want a 'Dont do it!' response, so why did you come to a site like this when all you'd end up doing is argueing with people about your motives and the like. Unless you knew this would happen and really just wanted a chance to tell somebody, anybody, about how ****** your life is, you really aren't going to find what you're looking for here.

All I can do at this point is shake my head.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Look, I don't know how long you've been here, but this is, in my opinion, THE place to go if you have problems. He did get good advice from some people on how to get away, but I think that in his heart he also wanted people to give him working alternatives. Sometimes what's on our mind doesn't come out in our words. Personally, I like when people come to us for advice, and he's gotten some.

Hearing Starwind's arguement, I have to agree, you should really go to court. There's no use not trying, I mean you never know until you try, right?

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Well if you're going to run away, better start running 2 miles a day till it becomes easy. Better be able to run a tri-athalon for that matter, 'cause in the end your parents will find you and you'll learn some hard lessons.

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[color=green]Two things. Running away is going to make, ?tomorrow harder to live than today.? No matter where or who you run to. I know your father doesn?t sound, at least from what you?ve shared, like a very nice guy. Yet it still might be better to stick it out, keep your head down and once you get out of the house... You?ll move on.

I tried running away when I was ten or so. I got to the end of the block, and came home crying. It?s not exactly a mature solution to your problem.

If you need someone to talk to, so you can de-stress, I?m sure your school has a counselor. If you don?t feel comfortable talking to him or her, you can visit [URL=http://www.befrienders.org/index.php]Befrienders.org[/URL] and call one of their members ? who?ll be happy to listen and advise you.


Whatever you do, do it off OB.[/color]

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Won't work. Your friend may be willing to let you stay at their house for however many years, but their parents won't. Like Boba Fett said, running away, whether or not it's the right thing to do, is going to rapidly end up failing on you. You're right, the police will find you and take you back to your dad, and things will only be much worse then.

Since you say you've already tried getting help from social workers and found none, try getting some proof. Pick up a voice recorder (if you're worried about your dad not letting you get one, give the money to a friend and have them pick it up for you), and keep it with you around your house so you can turn it on next time he starts having ****-fits. I seriously doubt a social worker can ignore you with that kind of evidence.

In any case, if you think running away or death is the only option, you seriously haven't thought this through nearly enough.

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[quote name='Kaise']I know to do it when they're asleep, but i mean when they start searching for me, how to throw them off.[/quote][font=trebuchet ms][color=33333]Backtrack through a river.[/color][/font]

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[quote name='? Nomad Tical ?]Look, I don't know how long you've been here, but this is, in my opinion, THE place to go if you have problems. He did get good advice from some people on how to get away, but I think that in his heart [b]he also wanted people to give him working alternatives[/b']. Sometimes what's on our mind doesn't come out in our words. Personally, I like when people come to us for advice, and he's gotten some.[/quote]

[size=1]He [b]has[/b] gotten other working alternatives; he just keeps making excuses on how it won't work. When, trust me and everyone who's tried to tell him, it [b]does[/b] work if you get your *** to doing something about the situation. Sitting around, whining about it is [b]not[/b] going to help. For that matter, spending all this time planning on a way to runaway is just wasting time. You'll spend more time festering over a plan, putting things together, than actually carrying out your mission.

The best way to get back at your dad is to put a bit of scare--and not by threatening his life. But by taking the initiative and the balls to go to the proper authorities and reporting him. I know that you don't have evidence, so don't come back with that; find other ways of making things work. As it was suggested, get a tape recorder. Plus, if you continue to talk to someone about how each time he mistreats/abuses you, it draws attention and they will do something about it. Go to a counselor, without your father's knowledge (you're a big boy, you can do this by yourself or with a friend), and talk to them. Whether it helps your father stay off of your back or not, talking with a professional does help. Perhaps they can offer you activities that would take up your time away from the house.

There's another thing, school activities. Does your school provide anything that could keep you away from home for a few extra hours? Something you can focus your thoughts and time to? Something that can help you vent? I find that drawing relieves me of stress. Pick up an musical instrument, maybe? Just something that can take your mind away from the household...something that can save you from whatever goes on around you.[/size]

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*Applauds* I can't belive this thread is still alive...

Sara, Dave, your replies made my day :).

And as for Annie's reply. Well, I've been waiting to use this:
[IMG]http://www.netsoc.tcd.ie/~cojofl/pictures/pwned.jpg[/IMG]

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I haven't read much in this thread, but this dispute seems to be between you and your father, and despite any advice you'll ultimately have to come up with the way to handle it best because you're aware of the entire situation. The only side we have to go on is yours, and that's a major flaw in this case. Just realize that running away or killing yourself is only a temporary solution, and in fact two unwise solutions at that, so you must focus on and attack the core and not look back. Try to change the underlying beliefs that fuel these hateful feelings, both in yourself and with your father, or they will continue to happen and may even become worse. Make him listen, tell him what's wrong, and if you truly believe that you are in the right, you won't let the issue go until it's resolved. Good luck.

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I don't see why everyone thinks that running away is such a bad thing. As long as you acknowledge that you'll have to face your problems head-on and that running away doesn't solve anything, I don't see anything bad about it really. If you plan on doing it, do it, but try to get help and do something more about the problems you have with your dad.

I'm actually posting in this thread because my family is taking in a runaway. He's actually my mom's co-worker at Waldenbooks. He lived with his mom and his mom was apparently abusing him pretty badly, so currently he's living with us until he can get a better job. Then again, he's just out of college, so his situation is probably different from yours.

[QUOTE]Just realize that running away or [B]killing yourself is only a temporary solution[/B][/QUOTE]

That has to be the most stupid thing I've ever read on the internet, and I've read about PABAAH and people praising Loonatics Unleashed.

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[quote name='Kaise']I'd like to know what a good way so that my parents don't catch me is.[/quote]
Dear Kaise, There are ways to rise above your problems besides running or killing as many here have tried to tell you. You will be dealing with the [b]***holes[/b] of this world for the rest of your life. Try to think of dealing with your dad as practice. There is a reason for everything, even if you can't see the reason at this point. To take your own life because someone [b]'else'[/b] is an ***hole would make you a bigger one. To kill a jerk would be a big mistake which would send you to prison where you would have to dwell with hundreds more like him...possibly for the rest of your life. To try and run away from ***holes is basically impossible, because they are [b]everywhere[/b] you go. Just be the best person you can be so you have no regrets there and try to avoid jerks as much as possible.

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[quote name='EVA Unit 100']That has to be the most stupid thing I've ever read on the internet, and I've read about PABAAH and people praising Loonatics Unleashed.[/quote]Hey, thanks for the insult buddy, I really appreciate it. ;) If there's really nothing in your life to keep you from putting other people down, then you must be in a pretty bad situation yourself, so no one should bother taking your advice. This is especially for someone who claims that running away is a good thing to do.

Kaise has reason to believe that both running away and killing himself are going to make the pain go away, though he has apparently chosen that he'd rather live through this ordeal. I admit that I probably should have provided a little more information to support this statement, because jackasses like you are going off with the wrong impression. Let me slow it down for you a bit.

What is the problem? Keisha is angry at his father for his parenting, which causes feelings of hurt and sadness. What does he want? Naturally, he wants these to go away. How can he accomplish this? Killing himself would cause him to no longer feel these things, and therefore a solution has been found. I'm not saying that this is the only solution, a good solution, or a long-term solution. It's obvious that him killing himself will actually create more problems than to clear things up, not to mention I care for the sanctity of human life, so I do not recommend this course of action and neither should others reading this thread. What he should do is clear these problems out by talking to his father and making him listen.

The [i]temporary solution[/i] that [i]killing himself[/i] poses is that he won't feel his feelings, much less anything else. I know it sounds kind of silly out of context, but do you understand now? :)

EDIT: Perhaps what I was initially thinking of was a "permanent solution to a temporary problem", but I think I was able to sort of make it fit anyway. haha :p

EDIT AGAIN: I've been thinking about it, and came to the conclusion that it's possible that we have different definitions of "solution". When I said temporary, I would have been as amused as you were if I saw solution to mean the same thing as result. If he killed himself, it's not like he's going to come back. lol We can obviously agree on that much. However, in the context I was using the word 'solution,' I intended it to mean "that which results as a logical answer to the problem." To that end, I believed the solution would cease once his family discovers what he has done, despite the hurt disappearing for himself. The hurt present would dip down a little, and then shoot back up, likely higher than before. Hence, temporary. Of course, my definition could be wrong, and therefore I have been attempting to fight a losing battle. lol But I feel that if I may be wrong, I'd like to know why this was so. Sorry for losing my temper earlier, and hopefully this makes sense. ^_^

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[COLOR=DarkSlateGray][SIZE=1]Kaise you're only 15. I'm sure I say this for everyone when I say we've all thought about running away or suicide and all that crap.
Seriously, what you need to thnk is. If you can't stand your parents or anything, just ttake with a head up, makes you stronger in the end.
Of course you could stay at a friends house. What will his parents think? They would notify yours sooner or later. And stay there for three years? I don't think they could hack that.
I know you don't think this, but it's a stage, a time passage that everyone goes through. Some Idiots actually go and do this stupid crap like running away and loosing their parents and get themselves in some real *****. You just need to hack this guy for a little while longer. You've done it for 15years? 3 more years is nothing.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

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Guest Kaise
3 years of something is getting harder. You take an RPG character and put him in a boss rush mode. Each boss gets harder, and boss # 15 left you with 1 hp left. Odds are, you're not going to beat boss # 16, let alone 17.

He's getting worse every year. I don't care about being a better person, i need him out of my life. By the time i'm 17, i will need to ask permission to breathe.

I've tried getting a social worker, they've said that he's okay. He's too stubborn to think that anything's wrong with him. He thinks that i am the problem here.

It's like Kutaragi with the PSP. There was a problem where the square buttons would stick. He said that the PSP was art and that delelopers/players should put up and shut up. I've tried to make him listen, and that was his excuse.

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[FONT=Arial]Kaise, it seems to me that if the social workers you've been to think he is okay, then maybe you're just overreacting to the natural "parents annoy me" situation that I'd bet EVERYONE in the whole world goes through. You're just like me; people give you solutions and you automatically say they won't work. My mother says that this is a "ninth grade dumbness" that she doesn't want to hear from me or anyone else. And as much as it hurts, it's true. I think that if you are getting paid from either your parents or a job that you might have so that you can save up for a PSP, and that you're allowed on the computer at all, it's really not as bad as you think it is. Heck, if the PSP money was your allowance, and it came from your [i]parents[/i], don't you think they are more entitled to it than you are? As much as I hate it, that's also true. Which is why I want a job so badly, but that's another story entirely.

And Brasil, if you hate threads like these so much, rather than post pointless images that really have nothing to do with the topic (because when a person asks for advice, even if they are doing it over the internet, they are asking for help and not belittling spamcrap), how about you just...not post in them? I mean, really, is it such a difficult concept?

xP.[/FONT]

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Guest Kaise
He just puts a face on in front of them and pretends to be okay. "Parents annoy me" phases don't last 15 years. I'm saying they don't work, because i've tried them and they don't. And by your logic, if i get a job, it's okay for the boss to use my paycheck to buy what he wants. Money they give me=MINE. He also strangled me for being on the comp and then said i wasn't getting anything for christmas.

He burned all my brother's gifts that he got me for christmas. I know it's not about recieving, but seeing what someone got you being burned isn't exactly nice.

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[FONT=Arial]Parents are annoying forever, I know, even when I get my own house and my own family, parents will continue to be annoying. It's not just something that happens when you're a teen.

And like I said, you want out, so do the right thing. Almost everyone in this thread has strongly discouraged running away, and you've all ready completely eliminated suicide. So do the right thing and follow the right advice (I'll give you a hint, it doesn't involve running away).

However, I do believe that if he strangles you or hurts you physically again, you had better run as fast as you can to the nearest police officer or any adult who could help you. Just don't try to take care of it yourself, because as most people who have posted here know from experience: it makes it worse.

And, no, employers have no right to use an employees money once they have rightfully transferred it from the place of employment's register to your own hands. However, there is no paperwork involved with allowance, and parents have much more authority over you than a boss would.

But Kaise, really, you can't just stay on the computer claiming that you'd rather run away than stay with your father. You have to make people believe you, by showing them bruises your father might give you, or as it's been suggested, recording his outbursts on tape and playing it for someone who can help you. [/FONT]

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