Funniest Song You've Ever Heard

[BlackTigerOFire]

[QUOTE=Chiyasha]Sorry to say this, Justin Timberlake's SexyBack. I cannot stop laughing the first time I listen to this song. What's with Justin? Was he too horny and enthusiastic while recording this song? :drunk:

Seriously, I dunno what's going to happen upon this Trousersnake.[/QUOTE]
[FONT=Arial][COLOR=Navy][CENTER]Lol. You are so right. I was going to say Weird Al's song "White and Nerdy" but this song REALLY makes me die laughing.

I really like Justin Timberlake but this song I cannot help but diss. ''I'll let you whip me if I misbehave" is my favorite part of the song. I just laugh everytime I hear that one part. OMG! It trips me out. :bellylol:


I just remembered something. That song "Chicken Noodle Soup" has to be the next funniest for me. The song has no meaning what so ever and the dance just makes it worse! [/CENTER][/COLOR][/FONT]

[silpheedpilot]

[COLOR=DarkSlateGray][SIZE=1]Ooooooh man. One of the funniest songs I've ever heard is [B]Dynomite[/B] by [B]Ima Robot[/B], lyrics are as followed but in spoiler tags if you're easily offended.

Dynomite


[spoiler]Here's a story for the kids!

This old man
He come a lot
It?s in your hair
And I don?t care
I?m not all right
I?m not all right
It?s in your hair

No, I want to wait for someone like you

This old girl
She plays tricks
It takes my sex
To get her fix.
She?s not all right
She?s not all right
She?s not all mine

No, I want to wait for someone like you
No, I want to wait for someone like you
To make my life so dynamite
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
Turn this dark life into light
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
Make my world so shiny bright
Ah ah ah ah ah ah

You got me burning both ways
Ima explode!

This old man
He just died
He blew his head with dynamite
He?s not all right
No, he?s not all right
It?s dynamite!

No, I want to wait for someone like you, you
No, I want to wait for someone like you
To make my life so dynamite
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
Turn this dark life into light
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
Make my world so shiny bright
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
Gonna make my life so dynamite
Ah ah ah ah ah ah

You got me burnin' both ways
Got me burnin' all day
Ima explode! YO!

No I want to wait for someone like you
To make my life so dynamite
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
Turn this dark life into light
Ah ah ah ah ah ah
Make my world so shiny bright
Ah ah ah ah ah ah

You got me burnin' both ways
Ima explode![/spoiler]

And the other song that I personally thought was the funniest thing I've heard heard was [B]Beauty Queen[/B] by [B]Leather Dynamite[/B]. You can go to their MySpace if you dare but I warn you, the song is VERY vulgar and highly degrading towards women, but if you're feeling frisky or curious, man or woman, check it out. It's laughable.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=#9933ff][font=lucida calligraphy]I like threads like this.

Anyways right now the funniest song I've heard is the Happy Song by Liam Lynch. I heard it when I was looking for Avatar episodes on You Tube and this is how the song goes:

am really special cuz there's only one of me
look at my smile, I'm so damn happy, other people are jealous of me
when I'm sad and lonely, I like to sing this song
it cheers me up and shows me that I won't be sad for long

oh oh oh I'm so happy, I can barely breathe
puppy dogs and sugar frogs and kittens, baby teeth
watch out all you mothers, I'm happy, it's hardcore
happy as a coupon for a $20 whore
ha-ha-ha hah

I'm really happy, I'm sugar coated me,
happy, good, anger, bad, that's my philosophy

Spoken: I can't do this, man. I'm not happy.

I am really special, cuz there's only one of me
Look at my smile, I'm so damn happy, other people are jealous of me
These are my lovehandles, and this is my spout,
but if you tip me over, then mama said knock you out

I am special, I am happy, I am gonna heave
welcome to my happy world, now get your **** and leave
I am happy, I am good, I am...

Spoken: I'm Outta Here! Screw You!

It's even funnier when there are clips of Sokka from Avatar running around and saying things about a happy mushroom.

And yes that is the same guy who Sings My United States of Whatever![/color][/font]

[KatanaViolet]

Weird Al Yankovic's "Polkarama!" is soooo funny!! It's basically just a polka "remix" of a bunch of popular songs, from anything to Pussycat Dolls, to Gorillaz, to 50 cent!!

I also really enjoy some funny songs by a ska band called Pain:
[b]Song of the Seven Inch Cowboy[/b]
I?m a seven-inch cowboy
With a tiny pair of six guns.
Five?ll get you ten,
I betcha never seen one.
Well I?m a seven inch cowboy
How do you be?
And I?m used to people gawking and a-staring at me
But I wasn?t always so gol-darned wee
Let me tell you my story,
You can listen for free.

For seven long years,
Now that?s a year for every inch I stand
I?ve traveled small and lonely down the byways of this giant land
Like a country western Lilliputian too afraid to stop
I?m at the bottom of the food chain whereas I once was at the top.
I wandered on foot, my horse had done abandoned me
And every town I come to?s like a terrible dream
The other cowboys mocked me and spit tobacco like meteors
Watching me dodge ?em and laughing at my small squeaky scream
I went to a saloon to get a drink
They wouldn?t serve me
They stuffed me in a glass and slid me up and down the bar
And all the barroom women gathered round and had their way with me
They sang a song both cold and mean
?Cause that?s how women are,
They sang,

?A man can pan for gold and strike it rich and be a millionaire
Or ride the rodeo and be the best one at it anywhere.
Drive a brand new car, be a movie star
Size is all that counts, and there you are.?

And I?m a seven-inch cowboy
With a tiny pair of six guns
Five?ll get you ten
I bet you never seen one

(Yodeling)

Now as you can imagine, I?d grown pretty bitter
(Although that?s the only way in which I had grown)
And in that seventh year I finally found my transgressor,
The man who had shrunk me, the worst fiend I?d ever known.
The mad Professor Mentley was his name and I drew near
I hopped upon his shoulder and I grabbed him by the ear
I held my little pistols up and I told ?im, ?Look a-here!
You made me this way, it?s time you pay, you gol-darned queer!?
And the professor said, ?Wait! Wait!
Now you know me, and I know you
And you know that strange experiments are just what I do
It?s less like a pastime and more like a job
Why if I didn?t do it, I?d be an unemployed slob
Now I know that won?t suffice if I?m to set you at ease
But I?m thinking as fast as I can for a man who?s down on his knees
And just this passing moment I had a thought, here?s what I thunk, I thought,
?Where would you be today if you hadn?t?ve shrunk??
Just another nameless cowboy, a mediocre bumpkin
Riding in the sun, skin burnt the color of a pumpkin
Reviled by the ladies, ridiculed by other men,
Nothing to set you apart nor would there ever have been
Then I came along, yes ME, Professor Mentley!
I gave you a gift! (though you weren?t grateful evidently)
I plucked you from your average status, I made you unique
You?re a seven-inch cowboy, not a six foot freak.
From every corner of the globe folks will come to adore you
Nations will bow and throw their riches before you
You?ll be diminutive in stature, but a titan inside
Because I, your true friend, chose to stand by your side.?

Now I cogitated on the words Professor Mentley shared
And I wondered if perhaps he only said ?em ?cause he was scared
My guns were weighin? heavy in my hands, my heart was low
When suddenly some old advice came to me soft and slow:

Well my pop told me it don?t matter where a fella goes
You can sail through icy straights and misty archipelagoes.
Travel to the moon, orbit every star
Size don?t really count and there you are.

And I?m a seven-inch cowboy (seven inches tall)
With a tiny pair of six guns (That?s mighty damn small)
Five?ll get you ten (For all you bettin? men)
You?ll never see another one (yeah!)
I guess Professor Mentley had a point although I shot him anyway
There?s never been a gentleman like me and that is safe to say
Well, I?ve thought real long and hard, so hard my brain is numb
Now I say Hollywood (Hollywood!), Hollywood (Hollywood!)
Hollywood here I come!

[b]Chuck Al Hashib[/b]
Bob Al Hashib was a man of the Nile.
A fez on his head and a whole lot of style.
Shady Rashan liked to kill and to rob
And one day without being provoked
He killed Bob (And that ain?t right.)

Well right in the street Bob lay at Shady?s feet
And everyone stared, no one dared to compete.
Nobody there dared to compete.

Nobody cared when Bob died
Nobody cared to try and save him
Hey look away pretend like Bob was never there
Unbeknownst to Shady, Bob had a bro who loved him dearly
Bob had a bro who loved him dearly
Chuck is on his way.

Chuck Al Hashib was a man of the sands
A fez on his head and a gun in his hands.
He had thirty knives in a black bandolier,
A bomb in his sock, and a bug in his ear.

Bad news travels fast, so did Chuck, so they say.
For what Shady did Chuck would make Shady pay.
Chuck Al Hashib was on his way.

Nobody cared when Bob died
Nobody cared to try and save him
Hey look away pretend like Bob was never there
Unbeknownst to Shady, Bob had a bro who loved him dearly
Bob had a bro who loved him dearly
Chuck is on his way.

Shady was afraid: he paid assassins to save his ***
And they sharpened up their swords,
Hawked loogs and roared until Chuck arrived.
Slowly across the dunes he came on a camel hard as enamel.
He didn?t wait for an invitation,
He whipped out his gun and used it well.
Well, Chuck spent his slugs on the thugs and killed them dead.
He then took his sword and he lopped (ha ha ha) off their heads.
Shady Rashan hurled himself at Chuck?s feet
Begging for Chuck to please let him go free.
But Chuck lit his bomb and he blew Shady up
Because Bob was Chuck?s brother, you see.

Nobody cared when Bob died
Nobody cared to try and save him
Hey look away pretend like Bob was never there
Unbeknownst to Shady, Bob had a bro who loved him dearly
Bob had a bro who loved him dearly
Chuck is on his way.

[Albert Flasher]

[COLOR=Sienna]Another two great songs from the Arrogant Worms that I just love...

[B]Proud to be Canadian[/B]

Our fair country Canada
Is north of the USA
Our Maritimes are lovely
And our prairies give us hay
You might think you Yankees
Are better than us Canucks
But we don't need no microchips
Inside our hockey pucks

We know that you've got disneyworld
and you keep it very clean
we dont have Bob Dole
and we can drink when were 19
we may watch your TV shows for hours and hour and hours
We'll give you Allen Vick
But Shania Twain is ours

We're proud to be Canadian
We're awfully nice to strangers, our manners be our curse
It's cool in many ways to be Canadian
We won't say that we're better, it's just that we're less worse

Your beer is not too tasty
and your weather cant be beat
We all fly south in the winter time
to escape the snow and sleet
We're pleased to say that
we've enjoyed all your southeren charms
but we get sun burnt
when we exersice the right to bear our arms

We're proud to be Canadian
We're awfully nice to strangers, our manners be our curse
It's cool in many ways to be Canadian
We won't say that we're better, it's just that we're less worse

Allanis Morissette
she is our latest pride and joy
She used to sing about High school dances
and chasing after boys
But now she is fed up
and as angry as can be
she's got one hand in her pocket
and the other on guard for thee

We're proud to be Canadian(proud to be canadian)
We're awfully nice to strangers(we're just too darn nice),
our manners be our curse
It's cool in many ways to be Canadian
We won't say that we're better, it's just that we're less worse

We're proud to be Canadian
We're awfully nice to strangers, our manners be our curse(can i get the door
for u ma'am)
It's cool in many ways to be Canadian(its cool cause it's cold in her)
We won't say that we're better, it's just that we're less worse

we wont say that we're better its just that we're less worse

tears are not enough...

[B]Great to be a Nerd[/B]

It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd
The only light we ever see is from our moniter

We argue about comic books and Internet connections
The biggest highlight of the year is the Star Trek Convention
Our town's not big enough to sign up any stars
But we once met a red shirt who was phasered by a Borg
(Man, he knew Mr. Sulu!) (What?)

It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd
We wear our Star Trek uniforms and talk like Captain Kirk

We have our own heroes who we try to emulate
I dream of one day being as sexy as Bill Gates
We hate watching sports 'cause we're reading Carl Sagan
But we'd watch the Olympics if they played Dungeons and Dragons
(I'm a Hobbitt! Ha ha ha ha!)

It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd
We think Tolkein was a genius and Shakespeare was a turd

We rarely get a date or get talked to by a girl
Unless they're having trouble with their algebra homework
We're emotionally bereft and we're sexually frustrated
But we can download photographs of Agent Scully naked

It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd
We know the truth is out there but we'd have to leave our room

We are the nerds in your neighbourhood
Polyester's a fashion statement
But there's more room on the beach for you
'Cause we're locked in our basement

It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd
We like to wear colours that do not appear in nature

It's great to be a
Poorly-dressed fashionless
Star trekking roleplaying
Ninety pound when wet down
Pasty skinned pop drinking
Underfed genius
Yes, it's great to be a nerd [/COLOR]

[KatanaViolet]

[QUOTE=HedonismBot][COLOR=Sienna]Another two great songs from the Arrogant Worms that I just love...

[B]Proud to be Canadian[/B]

Our fair country Canada
Is north of the USA
Our Maritimes are lovely
And our prairies give us hay
You might think you Yankees
Are better than us Canucks
But we don't need no microchips
Inside our hockey pucks

We know that you've got disneyworld
and you keep it very clean
we dont have Bob Dole
and we can drink when were 19
we may watch your TV shows for hours and hour and hours
We'll give you Allen Vick
But Shania Twain is ours

We're proud to be Canadian
We're awfully nice to strangers, our manners be our curse
It's cool in many ways to be Canadian
We won't say that we're better, it's just that we're less worse

Your beer is not too tasty
and your weather cant be beat
We all fly south in the winter time
to escape the snow and sleet
We're pleased to say that
we've enjoyed all your southeren charms
but we get sun burnt
when we exersice the right to bear our arms

We're proud to be Canadian
We're awfully nice to strangers, our manners be our curse
It's cool in many ways to be Canadian
We won't say that we're better, it's just that we're less worse

Allanis Morissette
she is our latest pride and joy
She used to sing about High school dances
and chasing after boys
But now she is fed up
and as angry as can be
she's got one hand in her pocket
and the other on guard for thee

We're proud to be Canadian(proud to be canadian)
We're awfully nice to strangers(we're just too darn nice),
our manners be our curse
It's cool in many ways to be Canadian
We won't say that we're better, it's just that we're less worse

We're proud to be Canadian
We're awfully nice to strangers, our manners be our curse(can i get the door
for u ma'am)
It's cool in many ways to be Canadian(its cool cause it's cold in her)
We won't say that we're better, it's just that we're less worse

we wont say that we're better its just that we're less worse

tears are not enough...

[B]Great to be a Nerd[/B]

It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd
The only light we ever see is from our moniter

We argue about comic books and Internet connections
The biggest highlight of the year is the Star Trek Convention
Our town's not big enough to sign up any stars
But we once met a red shirt who was phasered by a Borg
(Man, he knew Mr. Sulu!) (What?)

It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd
We wear our Star Trek uniforms and talk like Captain Kirk

We have our own heroes who we try to emulate
I dream of one day being as sexy as Bill Gates
We hate watching sports 'cause we're reading Carl Sagan
But we'd watch the Olympics if they played Dungeons and Dragons
(I'm a Hobbitt! Ha ha ha ha!)

It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd
We think Tolkein was a genius and Shakespeare was a turd

We rarely get a date or get talked to by a girl
Unless they're having trouble with their algebra homework
We're emotionally bereft and we're sexually frustrated
But we can download photographs of Agent Scully naked

It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd
We know the truth is out there but we'd have to leave our room

We are the nerds in your neighbourhood
Polyester's a fashion statement
But there's more room on the beach for you
'Cause we're locked in our basement

It's great to be a nerd, It's great to be a nerd
We like to wear colours that do not appear in nature

It's great to be a
Poorly-dressed fashionless
Star trekking roleplaying
Ninety pound when wet down
Pasty skinned pop drinking
Underfed genius
Yes, it's great to be a nerd [/COLOR][/QUOTE]


I love those lyrics!! What kind of music is Arrogant Worm?
I like them because not only am I Canadian, but I'm a nerd too :D

[Albert Flasher]

[QUOTE=KatanaViolet]I love those lyrics!! What kind of music is Arrogant Worm?
I like them because not only am I Canadian, but I'm a nerd too :D[/QUOTE]

[COLOR=Sienna]Mostly a Folk-Parody style but they don't stick to one genre, they parody all kinds of styles. Great group of guys, very witty but a lot of their jokes only Canadians will get. You can read about them here: [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arrogant_Worms[/url]

If you use BitTorrent you can find a great package that has about 200 of their songs in the same package. It's got a lot of their best.

Oh, and another song I love:

[B]A Night in Dildo[/b]

Umm, so this is a song about Newfoundland and we wrote it about the place names and all you have to know is that all the place names in this song are real place names that we found in an atlas, 'cause we can read!
Yeah, we can read!
Yeah, literacy!

Oh Newfoundland, oh Newfoundland, ya island in the sea
I love you oh so very much, I joined the Ministry
To show you people 'round the rock when tourist season's here
Although in my opinion it' s a gem throughout the year
Well if you're one for swimming, don't think it's outta reach
You can go and take a dip along Groswater Beach
I know the name's misleading, that's quite a problem here
Instead let's go to Goobies and have ourselves a beer

From Woody Point to Come-By-Chance to good ol' Ferryland
Come take a look at Gander, Blackhead's mighty grand
Don't let the names deceive you, Newfoundland's mighty fine
So spend a night on Dildo if you think you've got the time

Well you can go to Blow-Me-Down before it get's to dark (GASP)
Oh sorry ma'am, I should have said, that's our provincial park
There's also Whippet Harbour, or maybe Butter Pot
Or maybe I'll just hit the pub I'm feeling like a shot
Well you can sail on Quidi Vidi, or look at Joe Batt's Arm
There's Placentia and there's Cow Head (MOOO!), they're so full of charm
Get married down in Kilbride, have a party in Hate Bay
Or have some screech in Fogo and forget about the day

From Woody Point to Come-By-Chance to good ol' Ferryland
Come take a look at Gander, Blackhead's mighty grand
Don't let the names deceive you, Newfoundland's mighty fine
So spend a night on Dildo if you think you've got the time
Okay, the Drinkin' Verse

*sing drunkenly here*

From Woody Point to Come-By-Chance to good ol' Ferryland
Come take a look at Gander, Blackhead's mighty grand
Don't let the names deceive you, Newfoundland's mighty fine
So spend a night on Dildo if you think you've got the time
So spend a night on Dildo if you think you've got the time
So spend a night on Dildo if you think you've got the time
COD!

Just as a BTW, I went to half of these places when I went to Newfoundland last summer and I spent a night in Dildo, it's a little sleepy town that's got a really cool view and a hilarious 'Welcome To' sign. [/COLOR]

[KatanaViolet]

[quote name='HedonismBot][COLOR=Sienna]Mostly a Folk-Parody style but they don't stick to one genre, they parody all kinds of styles. Great group of guys, very witty but a lot of their jokes only Canadians will get. You can read about them here: [url']http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arrogant_Worms[/url][/quote]

Hahahaa, I looked them up on Myspace and listened to some songs.
That's awesome!!
Thank you :D

[Eureka]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][FONT=Trebuchet MS]Weird Al Yankovic - "Ebay"
(parody of "i want it that way by the backstreet boys)


"A used...pink bathrobe
A rare...mint snowglobe
A Smurf...TV tray
I bought on eBay

My house...is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay

Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)
They had it on eBay

I'll buy...your knick-knack
Just check...My feedback
"A++!" they all say
They love me on eBay

Gonna buy (a slightly damaged golf bag)
Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag)
(From some guy) I never met in Norway
Found him on eBay

I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got Paypal or Visa, whatever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough
I'll buy...your tchotchkes
Sell me...your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy...)
I'm highest bidder now

(Junk keeps arriving in the mail)
(From that world-wide garage sale)
(Hey! A Dukes of Hazzard ashtray)
Oh yeah...(I bought it on eBay)
Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox)
Wanna buy (a case of vintage tube socks)
(Wanna buy a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre)
(Found it on eBay)
Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcett poster)
(Pez dispensers and a toaster)
(Don't know why...The kind of stuff you'd throw away)
(I'll buy on eBay)
What I bought on eBay..."


The Offspring - "Pretty Fly"

"Montag Lieben Glauten Loben
Give it to me baby,
Uh-huh uh-huh
Give it to me baby,
Uh-huh uh-huh
Give it to me baby
Uh-huh uh-huh
And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis

You know it's kind of hard
Just to get along today
Our subject isn't cool
But he fakes it anyway
He may not have a clue
And he may not have style
But everything he lacks
Well he makes up in denial

So don't debate, player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
Gonna play the field, keep it real
For you no wait, for you no wait
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world needs wannabees, so (hey, hey)
Do that brand new thing

Give it to me baby,
Uh-huh uh-huh
Give it to me baby,
Uh-huh uh-huh
Give it to me baby
Uh-huh uh-huh
And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy

He needs some cool tunes
Not just any will suffice
But they didn't have Ice Cube
So he bought Vanilla Ice
Now cruising in his Pinto,
He sees homies as he pass
But if he looks twice
They're gonna kick his lily ***

So don't debate, player straight
you know he really doesn't get it anyway
gonna play the field, keep it real
But for you no wait, for you no wait
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world loves wannabees, so (hey, hey)
Do that brand new thing


Now he's getting a tattoo, yeah
He's gettin' ink done
He asked for a "13" but they drew a "31"
Friends say he's trying too hard
And he's not quite hip
But in his own mind
He's the, he's the dopest trip

Give it to me baby,
Uh-huh uh-huh
Give it to me baby,
Uh-huh uh-huh
Give it to me baby
Uh-huh uh-huh

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis

So don't debate, player straight
you know he really doesn't get it anyway
gonna play the field, keep it real
For you no wait, for you no wait
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world needs wannabes
The world loves wannabes
Let's get some more wannabes (hey, hey)
Do that brand new thing"

[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Andy]

[SIZE=1][COLOR=DarkRed]Hmmm....that would probably have to be Alburquerque by Weird Al Yankovic. Here's the lyrics. NOTE: Extremely long post, because its a long song. Sorry.


Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait shop
You know the place
well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was just peachy

Except, of course, for the undeniable fact that every single morning
My mother would make me a big bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast

Awww - Big bowl of sauerkraut
Every single mornin'
It was driving me crazy

I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old

That's when I swore that someday
Someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place
Where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer
And the towels are oh so fluffy
Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel

Wacka wacka doodoo yeah

Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true
Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to

Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Oh yeah
You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
Except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died
Except for me
You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah ha ha ha
Ah ha ha
Ahhhh

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage
I crawled on my hands and kneew for three full days
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag
And my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel
But finally I arived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's OK, they're clean

Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C
And I turned on the SpectraVision
And I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, very much when suddenly, there's a knock on the door

Well now, who could that be?
I say "Who is it?"
No answer
"Who is it?"
There's no answer
"WHO IS IT?"
They're not sayin' anything

So, finally I go over and I open the door and just as I suspected
It's some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut and only one nostril
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
And he's like "Tough"
And I'm like "Give it"
And he's like "Make me"
And I'm like "'Kay"
So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus
And I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows
And I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed, you better believe it
And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
And twenty seconds later, I heard a farmiliar voice
And you know what it said?
I'll tell you what it said

It said
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again"
"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator"

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel
But I made a a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest
I would not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
But first, I decided to buy some donuts

So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says "Yeah, what do ya want?"
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
I said "You got any jelly donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
I said "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
I said "You got any bear claws?"
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
"NO, we're outta bear claws"
I said "Well, in that case - in that case, what do you have?"
He says "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
I said "OK, I'll take that"

So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out
And they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over
(rabid gnawing sounds)
Oh man, they were just going nuts
They were tearin' me apart
You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head"
I believe it went a little something like this . . .

Doh
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
Oh, oh God, oh God
Oh, get 'em off me
Oh, oh God
Ah, (more screaming)

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Like a constipated weiner dog
And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams
Her name was Zelda
She was a caligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches
I'll never forget the first thing she said to me.
She said "Hey, you've got weasels on your face"

That's when I knew it was true love
We were inseperable after that
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
We even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss
The world was our burrito
So we got married and we bought us a house
And had two beautiful children - Nathaniel and Superfly
Oh, we were so very very very happy, aw yeah

But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me
She said "Sweetie pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said "Woah, hold on now, baby"
"I'm just not ready for that kinda commitment"
So we broke up and I never saw her again
But that's just the way things go

In Albuquerque
Albuquerque

Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me
Because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a part-time job at The Sizzler
I even made employee of the month after I put that grease fire out with my face
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that
I was gettin' a lot of attitude

OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"

So I did

And then he gets all indignant on me
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
Well, that's just great
How was I supposed to know that?
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy
So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the street and says he hasn't had a bite in three days
Well, I knew what he meant
But just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
And he's yellin' and screamin' and bleeding all over
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
(screaming sounds)
You know, just completely missing the irony of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um, um, where was I?
Kinda lost my train of thought

Uh, well, uh, OK
Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it
But I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I HATE SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up
And find yourself in an existential quandry
Full of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence
At least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that
Somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up old universe of ours
There's still a little place called

Albuquerque
Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque

I said "A" (A)
"L" (L)
"B" (B)
"U" (U)
"querque" (querque)

Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque

Albuquerque

(belch)

That song is hilarious.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=#9933ff][font=lucida calligraphy]I've been watching Veggietales lately. Funny stuff really. Here are some of the funny songs from there, warning it's a long post because there are some funny songs.

[u][b]The Hairbrush song[/b][/u]

Narrator:
Now it's time for silly songs with Larry. The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song. Our curtain opens as Larry, having just finished his morning bath, is searching for his hairbrush. Having no success, Larry cries out...

Larry:
Oh, where is my hairbrush?
Oh where is my hairbrush?
Oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where,
Oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where,
Oh, where ... is my hairbrush?

Narrator:
Having heard his cry, Pa Grape enters the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel, Pa regains his composure and reports ...

Pa:
I think I saw a hairbrush back there!

Larry:
Back there is my hairbrush.
Back there is my hairbrush.
Back there, back there, oh, where, back there,
Oh, where, oh, where, back there, back there,
Back there ... is my hairbrush!

Narrator:
Having heard his joyous proclamation, Junior Asparagus enters the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel, Junior regains his composure and comments ...

Junior:
Why do you need a hairbrush?
You don't have any hair!

Narrator:
Larry is taken aback. The thought had never occured to him. No hair? What would this mean? What will become of him? What will become of his hairbrush? Larry wonders ...

Larry:
No hair for my hairbrush.
No hair for my hairbrush.
No hair, no hair, no where, no hair,
No hair, no hair, no where, back there,
No hair ... for my hairbrush!

Narrator:
Having heard his wonderings, Bob the Tomato enters the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel, Bob regains his composure and confesses ...

Bob:
Larry, that old hairbrush of yours ...
Well, you never use it, you don't really need it.
So, well, I'm sorry ... I didn't know.
But I gave it to the Peach - 'cause he's got hair!

Narrator:
Feeling a deep sense of loss, Larry stumbles back and laments...

Larry:
Not fair for my hairbrush.
Not fair! My poor hairbrush.
Not fair, not fair, no hair, not fair,
No where, no hair, not fair, not fair,
Not fair! My little hairbrush!

Narrator: Having heard his lament, the Peach enters the scene. Himself in a towel, both Larry and the Peach are shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of...each other. But recognizing Larry's generosity, the Peach is thankful ...

Peach:
Thanks for the hairbrush.

Narrator:
Yes, good has been done here. The Peach exits the scene. Larry smiles, but, still feeling an emotional attachment for the hairbrush, calls out ...

Larry:
Take care of my hairbrush.
Take care, oh my hairbrush.
Take care, take care, don't dare not care,
Take care, nice hair, no fair, take care,
Take care ... of my hairbrush.

Narrator: The end!

[b][u]SOng of the Cebu[/u][/b]

Narrator:
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Larry the Cucumber
presents, in a sequential image, stereophonic, multimedia event, The
Song of the Cebu!

Larry:
Cebu! This is a song about a boy...a song about a little boy
and his Cebus...a song about a little boy and his 3 Cebus... the little
boy who had a sick Cebu, a sad Cebu, and a mute Cebu. and also a
hippo. um, um... this is a picture of me at the airport. this is my aunt Ruth. this
is me at a bullfight. This is me fighting the bull.

Jimmy, Johnny, & Junior:
Ooooh!

Larry:
this is me and the bull.

Jimmy, Johnny, & Junior:
Aaaah!

Larry:
This is me and the bull and... i think that's the bull's cousin.
he's a Cebu.

Archibald:
Hold it! You call this a multimedia event? This is a slide
projector and a bed sheet! And what on Earth is a Cebu, anyway?

Larry:
It's kind of like a cow. See?

Archibald:
Yes. Well, very good. This could be interesting. Carry on!

Larry:
Cebu! Sing it with me! Cebu!

Jimmy, Johnny & Junior:
Cebu!

Larry:
Boy is riding with Cebu

Jimmy, Johnny & Junior:
Boy is riding with Cebu

Larry:
Into town in his canoe

Jimmy, Johnny & Junior:
Into town in his canoe

Larry:
Sick Cebu is rowing and sneezing. Achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo,
achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo moo moo

Jimmy, Johnny & Junior:
Achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo,
achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo, achoo moo moo moo moo

Larry:
Hippo chewing on bamboo

Jimmy, Johnny & Junior:
Hippo chewing on bamboo

Larry:
Can't see boy and three Cebus

Jimmy, Johnny & Junior:
Can't see boy and three Cebus

Larry:
Sad Cebu is rowing and crying. Boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo,
boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo moo moo

Jimmy, Johnny & Junior:
Boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo
moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo moo moo

Larry:
Cebu!

Jimmy, Johnny & Junior:
Cebu!

Larry:
Cebu!

Jimmy, Johnny & Junior:
Cebu!

All:
Achoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo,
boo-hoo moo moo, achoo moo moo,
achoo moo moo, boo-hoo moo moo, Cebu!

Larry:
Hippo seen by mute Cebu

Jimmy, Johnny & Junior:
Hippo seen by mute Cebu

Larry:
Tries to tell the other two

Jimmy, Johnny & Junior:
Tries to tell the other two

Larry:
Mute Cebu is waving and grunting.
Mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm,
mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm

Jimmy, Johnny & Junior:
Mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm,
mmm-hmm mmm mmm, mmm-hmm mmm mmm mmm mmm

Larry:
Uh-oh.

Archibald:
Wait! What happens next?

Larry:
Um ...

Archibald:
Does the hippo see them? Is the poor mute Cebu successful in
communicating the imminent danger to the other passengers? Is the boy
injured? Why is the sad Cebu sad? Is the canoe wood or aluminum?

Larry:
Oh look! There's me and Bob at Sea World! Oh, wow. Forgot about
that one. There's me and that bull again.

Archibald:
You can't just start a song and leave it hanging like that!
You know, I've come to expect a lot more from you. This is quite
disappointing! I'm going to have to speak to Bob about this.

Larry:
Oh look, a Cebu! Cebu!

Jimmy, Johnny & Junior:
Cebu!

Larry:
No, wait ... that's a water buffalo.

Jimmy, Johnny & Junior:
No more song about Cebu! Need another verse or
two! Audience is standing and leaving, bye-bye moo, bye-bye moo, bye-bye
moo, bye-bye moo moo moo moo

Jimmy:
I want my money back!

Johnny:
Yeah, that'd be ... that'd be good.Words by Mike Nawrocki

And of course my personal favorites:

[b][u]The Water Buffalo Song![/b][/u]

Larry: "Everybody's got a water buffalo, yours is fast but mine is slow. Oh, where'd we get them? I don't know, but everybody's got a water buffalo-ooooooooo.
I took my buffalo to the store, got his head stuck in the door, spilled some lima beans on the floor. Oh everybody's got a ..."

Archibald: "Stop it, stop, stop right this instant! What do you think you're doing? You can't say everyone's got a water buffalo when everyone does not have a water buffalo! We're going to get nasty letters saying, "Where's my water buffalo? Why don't I have a water buffalo?" And are you prepared to deal with that? I don't think so! Just stop being so silly!"

Narrator: "This has been Silly Songs with Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry sing ..."

Larry: "Everybody's got a baby kangaroo, yours is pink but mine is blue. Hers was small but ..."


[center]and[/center]

[b][u]The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything[/b][/u]

Narrator: "Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mr. Lunt, who together make up the infamous gang of scalliwags, the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!"
Larry, Pa, Mr. Lunt: "We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ..."

Larry: "We don't do anything!"

Pa: "Well, I've never been Greenland and I've never been to Denver, and I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul, and I've never been to Moscow and I've never been to Tampa, and I've never been to Boston in the fall."

All: "'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ..."

Mr. Lunt: "We don't do anything. And I never hoist the mainstay and I never swab the poop deck, and I never veer to starboard 'cuz I never sail at all, and I've never walked the gang plank and I've never owned a parrot, and I've never been to Boston in the fall."

All: "'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay at home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ... We don't do anything!"

Larry: "Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at ping-pong, and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall, and I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice, and I've never been to Boston in the fall!"

Pa: "Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate??"

Mr. Lunt: "Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about pirate-y things!"

Larry: "Oh ..."

Pa: "And who ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?"

Mr. Lunt: "I think you look like Cap'n Crunch!"

Pa: "Huh? No I don't!"

Mr. Lunt: "Do too."

Pa: "Do not!"

Mr. Lunt: "You're making me hungry."

Pa: "That's it, you're walkin' the plank!"

Mr. Lunt: "Says who?"

Pa: "Says the captain, that's who!"

Mr. Lunt: "Oh, yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch!"

Larry: "And I've never licked a spark plug and I've never sniffed a stink bug, and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball, and I've never bathed in yogurt and I don't look good in leggings ..."

Pa: "You just don't get it!"

All: "And we've never been to Boston in the fall!"

Pa: "Pass the chips!

Yes, Veggietales! [/color][/font]

[Damburaki]

[COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][FONT=Arial Narrow]I was on YouTube and I was looking through Stephen Lynch songs. I'm sure it was him, I can check up on that later. Anyway, the song is

[B][U][SIZE=3][I]Life's Gonna Suck.[/U][/B]

Life's gonna suck when you grow up
When you grow up
When you grow up
Life's gonna suck when you grow up
It sucks pretty bad right now

[Hey if you know the words sing along!]

You're gonna have to
Mow the lawn
Do the dishes
Make your bed
You're gonna have to go to school
Until you're 17

[It's gonna feel three times as long as that]

You might have to
Go to war
Shoot a gun
Kill a war
You might have to
Go to war
When you get out of school

Santa Claus does not exist
And there's no Easter Bunny
When you grow up
You'll realize Big Bird isn't funny
Funny
Funny
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ooh...

Life's gonna suck when you grow up
When you grow up
When you grow up
Life's gonna suck when you grow up
It sucks pretty bad right now

You're gonna end up
Smoking crack
On your back
Face the facts
You're gonna end up smoking crack
And then you're gonna die

[Interlude]

And then you're gonna di-i-i-i-i-i-i-ie
Hey! Hey![/I][/SIZE]


Yes, the song is short, and man it's funny. I'll try to get more.[/FONT][/COLOR]

[Albert Flasher]

[QUOTE=Damburaki][COLOR=DarkSlateBlue][FONT=Arial Narrow]I was on YouTube and I was looking through Stephen Lynch songs. I'm sure it was him, I can check up on that later. Anyway, the song is

[B][U][SIZE=3][I]Life's Gonna Suck.[/U][/B]

Life's gonna suck when you grow up
When you grow up
When you grow up
Life's gonna suck when you grow up
It sucks pretty bad right now

[Hey if you know the words sing along!]

You're gonna have to
Mow the lawn
Do the dishes
Make your bed
You're gonna have to go to school
Until you're 17

[It's gonna feel three times as long as that]

You might have to
Go to war
Shoot a gun
Kill a war
You might have to
Go to war
When you get out of school

Santa Claus does not exist
And there's no Easter Bunny
When you grow up
You'll realize Big Bird isn't funny
Funny
Funny
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ooh...

Life's gonna suck when you grow up
When you grow up
When you grow up
Life's gonna suck when you grow up
It sucks pretty bad right now

You're gonna end up
Smoking crack
On your back
Face the facts
You're gonna end up smoking crack
And then you're gonna die

[Interlude]

And then you're gonna di-i-i-i-i-i-i-ie
Hey! Hey![/I][/SIZE]


Yes, the song is short, and man it's funny. I'll try to get more. Go Stephen Lynch![/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE][COLOR=Sienna]

That's Dennis Leary, I believe. Quality song, not as funny as "Asshole!" but good nontheless.[/COLOR]

[The Enemy]

Some o the best are already up here. So this is like my third funniest song. It's another hit by wierd al, and it'a called The Night Santa Went Crazy.

Down in the workshop all the elves were making toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered in ammo

Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nick went insane
Realized he'd been getting a raw deal
Something must've finally snapped in his brain

Well the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
Then he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with and old German Luger
And he slashed up poor Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
Then he picked up a flamethrower and he barbecued Blitzen
Then he took a big bite and said "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk 'round the North Pole
Without stepping in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the FBI
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circling 'round in the sky
Now the bullets keep flying the body count's rising
And everybody'd dying to know - Santa, why?
My, my, my, my - you used to be such a jolly guy.

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doing time
In a Federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey there little friend, don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in seven hundred more years.

(Alternate verse used in concert)
Yes, Virginia, now Santa Claus is dead
A guy from the SWAT team blew a hole through his head
Yes, little friend, that's his brains on the floor
Guess you won't have the fat guy to kick around anymore

Now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Claus she's on the phone every night
With a lawyer negotiating the movie rights
(They talk about)

The night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Seems to me like he was tired of getting gypped

The night Santa went crazy
The night Saint Nick went insane
Realized he'd been getting a raw deal
Something finally must've snapped in his brain
Something finally must've snapped in his brain
Tell ya something must've finally snapped in his brain.

[G/S/B Master]

Lyric wise, White and Nerdy by Weird Al pretty takes the cake.

However, title wise, anything by [spoiler]Anal ****[/spoiler] is funny.

[spoiler][url]http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Anal-****-lyrics/F4C497DFFE1798B148256CE200131372[/url][/spoiler]

Caution, as most, if not all, are VERY derogative.

The Night Santa Went Crazy is also a classic song.

[Jakehammaren]

The funniest song I've ever heard is definately "Nobody Loves Me" by Limp Bizkit. Well, it's unintentionally funny, but it's hilarious nonetheless. Actually, Limp Bizkit is kind of a joke in general.

[ChibiHorsewoman]

[color=#9933ff][font=lucida calligraphy]Oh bloody hell I have just heard the funniest song ever by Faith Hill. It's track three on her Fireflies CD called Dearly Beloved! Man is it funny!

[center]Good morning,
dearly beloved
we are gathered here today
to watch two people we know
make a big mistake.
They?ll stand up at the altar
and solemnly swear; ?I do?
They?ll be together forever
?till they find somebody new.
Her daddy?s in the front row
muttering, ?oh no,
here we go again.
They had a couple dates,
now she?s three months late.
And it?s twenty bucks a plate I spent, oh?
Good morning,
dearly beloved,
I?d like to welcome ya?ll
to see the side effects
of sex and alcohol.
Please bow your heads and join me
in a prayer for these two
who?ll be together forever
?till they find somebody new.
The bride is a flirt,
and the groom is much worse.
As he?s putting the ring on her,
he?s checking out the bridesmaids
thinking that he might take
the maid of honours honour, oh,
welcome, dearly beloved,
we are here this afternoon
to throw rice as these two
drive down the road to ruin
with cans tied to the bumper
and a draggin? muffler too
they?ll be forever together
?till they find somebody new.
So raise your hand and join me,
here?s to the bride and groom
they?ll be together forever
?Till they find somebody new.[/center]

They don't have it where I found the lyrics, but after the song is done you hear her saying Oh no, not another one, Thank you daddy.

Another funny one is The Bride by Trick Pony off of their RIDE CD, but I have to go to work now and can't go look for the lyrics. So you'll just have to trust that it's funny.[/color][/font]

[mangamaniack21]

One of those songs would be the stupid dinosaur song or whatever it's called. "when i was a dinosaur, then i was a carnavore..." This was so funny because it really made me angry and got stuck in my head. The stupid thing is that i was humming this as i was trying to take a science test XD.

[Japan]

[COLOR=DarkRed]For a funny song, this comes to mind.

Artist: Tai Mai Shu Lyrics
Song: Freestyle (Stupid) Lyrics

Yep, yee , som
Microphone testing 1-2-3
In the place to be
whusup everbody? My name is Tai Mai Shu!
and I am going to be rapping for u today jus' a lil' freestyle
but first and for most i'd like to thank Roadie style beyond compare
for geting my belt back and helping me promotion my skills
and in return i will teach them how to make one million dollars
wow, And when you hear it you be like wow! I don't belive So simple!
no skilled involved at all I could've thought of that my self
and then u say what? What the hell? I don't believe.

Check it out though

I was crusin down the street in my impala
they ask me who the girl in the car its jus my baby momma
I don't give a **** about the hoe!
I sock that ***** in the jaw by surprise and pull the nails out her toes
cus im to slick, gimme the hebbijebbies,
break in all the houses, steal all your TVs
Kick you daddy in the peepee, ya so u can see see
I run the corner laughing hee hee, hee hee
get ur momma in a head lock o a full nelson
then i rip yor nipple out like chinese dude named wilson
then i rape his momma cus im too sick singing
ish son take da dull ****!
Then I'm back in my impala, sick *** asian dude
saw my friend young, his first name is eggfoo
alotta people don't like him, but i don't give a ****
cus i stole you tv It's in my ****** commander
I wish today was sunday so i could get a cheeseburger for...
39 cent!
at mcdonalds (baby!)
and i wish it was wednesday so i could get a hamburger for..
29 cent!
at mcdonalds(at mcdonalds) (baby!)

We will fight alone just as we use to do in those days
alright fight just like we used to.

i was talkin to this girl, they say she want to kick it.
i bust a nut in her eyeball and say u full of bull ****
then she look at me and she say **** you.
i say no swear i have to go to school.
im a happy chinese boy, i have alot to talk about
try to argue wit me i say get the hell out!
i likea old school, i likea new school,
mygirlfriend like my name, Nihon Tai Mai Shu
if want to take a look, i like to eat jaokk
what the hell make you say bookbookbook
i take my skill serious and always not for fun
i like to eat chao fun and hor zhou yee wan ton

chinese student go to school early in the morning
and I like to play kick ball inside the school yard
chinese student do homework and they study real hard
i walk by these good looking girls
they say you smell like moth ball!

wow you do fight well
yeah whatever dude jus gimme a ****** marlboro lights.

(Chourus)

all my real chinese throw your hands up throw your head up
all my real live chinese people throw your heads up
hong kong people throw your heads up throw those head up throw your head up
chinese people, japanese people, every people
throw your hand up

we wire! I am a warrior! we flashing on them!
i got 4's 4's so u kids no going
i am real hard! peace outside! damn u! U know what im say.
[/COLOR]

[BurningD]

[SIZE=1]Kelly.

For the win, especially "Let Me Borrow That Top"
Incredibly hilarious, I'd put the lyrics but profanity much? Yeah. I'm ROFL all the time I listen to it.[/SIZE]

[Guest Babybits2002]

the funniest song I've ever heard would have to be....
I'm a cucumber
I'm a cucumber
I'm a cucumber
I'm a cucumer
please don't take me to the pickle farm

[Order Of Otaku]

The Family Guy soundtrack(Live In Las Vegas),the whole soundtrack.

[AkiraMoonShadow]

[QUOTE=Ai.sAkUrA.chan]I'm not sure if this is funny, but if you see the video then maybe it will be.

Dear Diary, Mood-Apethetic

My life is spiraling deathward. I couldnt get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert. It sucks because they play some of my favorite songs like Stab My Heart Because I Love You and Rip Apart My Soul and of course Stab Me Rip Stab Stab and it doesn't help that I couldnt get my hair to do that flippy thing either like the guy from that band can do.

I'm an emo kid, nonconforming as can be
You'd be nonconforming too if you looked just like me
I got paint on my nails and makeup on my face
I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs

Cause I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drag
I call it freedom of expression girls just call me a ***
Cause the dudes look like chicks and chicks look like dykes
Cause emo is one step below transvestite

Stop my breathing and slit my throat
I must be emo
I don't jump around when I go to shows
I must be emo

I'm dark and sensitive with low self esteem
The way I dress makes everyday feel like Halloween
I have no real problems but I like to make believe
I stole my sisters mascara now I'm grounded for a week

Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies
I can't get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing
Girls keep breaking up with me its never any fun
They say they already have a ***** they don't need another one

Stop my breathing and slit my throat
I must be emo
I don't jump around when I go to shows
I must be emo
Dye in my hair and polish on my toes
I must be emo
I play guitar and write suicide notes
I must be emo

...My life is just a black abyss you know? Its so dark and its suffocating me, grabbing a hold of me and tightening its grip. Tighter than a pair of my little sisters jeans...Which look great on me by the way...

When I get depressed I cut my wrist in every direction
Hearing songs about getting dumped give me an erection
I write in a LiveJournal and wear thick rim glasses
I tell my friends I bleed black and cry during classes

I'm just a bad, cheap imitation of goth
You can read me 'Catcher in the Rye' and watch me jack off
I wear skin tight clothes while hating my life
If I said I like girls, I'd only be half right

I look like I'm dead and dress like a homo
I must be emo
Screw Xbox I play old school nintendo
I must be emo
I like to whine and hate my parentals
I must be emo
Me and my friends all look like clones
I must be eeeeeeemo

...My parents don't get me ya know? They think I'm gay just because they saw me kiss a guy...well a couple of guys but I mean its the 2000's can't 2 or 4 guys makeout with eachother without being gay? I mean chicks dig that kinda thing anyways.
I don't know diary sometimes I think you're the only one who gets me. You're my best friend.


I feel like tacos

Or you can always watch this video (has the song):
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25HUJ6BlTU8[/url][/QUOTE]I know that song. Hollywood Undead sings it I think.

[AkiraMoonShadow]

[COLOR=Indigo]Lets see, one of the funniest songs I have heard would probably have to be the Llama song. :animesmil [/COLOR]

[TimeChaser]

Some of the funniest songs I've ever heard are by Ray Stevens.

[B]Sitting Up With The Dead[/B] - About a country community at a wake on a stormy night. The deceased was so bent over when he died that they had to chain the body down (and didn't tell anyone about it). The storm already has eveyone on edge, and the chain snaps and... well, Uncle Fred sits up =P Causing everyone in the house to freak out. Here's the chorus:

[I]Well I ain't sittin up with the dead no more - I don't 'bout you
Well I ain't sittin up with the dead no more, no matter what you say or do
They say the dead can't hurt ya cuz they already left
But what they left can sure make you hurt yourself
Well I ain't siitin up with the dead no more since the dead started sittin up too[/I]


[B]Three Legged Man[/B] - About a guy who falls in love with a married woman, and decides to run away with her one night, also taking her husband's wooden leg to prevent him from chasing after. But, he does anyway.

[B]Would Jesus Wear a Rolex?[/B] - A great song poking fun at these TV preachers and their cash-loaded mega churches, always asking for even more money from their members.

[B]The Streak[/B] - Self-explanatory. About a man sending a town into an uproar as he streaks about, apparently trying to attract the attention of a rather sour-face woman. Intersperesed with fake news reports on the scene of the Streak's latest sighting. Even funnier when watching the video for it.

[B]Mississippi Suirrel Revival[/B] - Again, even more hilarious when watching the video. The narrator talks about his summer days visiting his aunt in the country. One day he catches a squirrel and takes it to church to show his buddy. Well... the squirrel escapes and proceeds to crawl up the pants legs/skirts of those in the church who aren't exactly the most holy of people, and believeing theyre being attacked by the devil or the spirit, they confess some juicy sins =P

As you can tell, Ray Stevens has a mostly country/folksy style (but not in a "country music" way, thank goodness). I think what makes his songs especially funny is the outlandish stories they tell.