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Intimacy issues


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[quote name='Sojiro47']Are you getting...bored with him? Do you find your self wanting other guys?[/quote]

A little.....someone who won't just satnd there letting me slip away,and someone who will hug me for more than a half second. Even my friends hug me longer than that and they know i'm taken.

Maybe it's not me with the problem.
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I'm no good at being an armchair analyst. But maybe I can at least open up the discussion some.

[quote name='lostvoice']My boyfriend is kind,witty and paitient,especially with me.[/quote]The whole issue is basically contained here. The very first thing you think to say is that he's got all these nice qualities - the implication being that because of these qualities, he's the kind of person who deserves intimacy. I can't help but be struck by the fact that you don't start off by saying, straight out, that you [i]love[/i] him. Or, to put the emphasis where it should be, you don't start by saying that you love [i]him[/i] - the absolutely unique person that he is is not what you think of first, only that there are basic facts [i]about[/i] him that make him a "nice guy." "He has all these good qualities; he must be worthy of love!" But from your posts, you probably understand better than most that "because he's a nice guy, I [i]ought[/i] to be in love with him" does not immediately lead into "I [i]am[/i] in love with him." Especially in love, there's always a space between what [i]ought to be[/i] and what [i]is[/i].

I'm terrible at advice, but I think if you need to consider anything, then consider the gap that exists between this guy who is [i]worthy[/i] of your love and the fact of whether or not you [i]actually[/i] love him. Of course, the question "do you love him?" is never an easy one to answer, but I can point in a direction. He's "kind, witty, and patient" - but if he didn't have these qualities, and if in fact he didn't even notice you existed, would you still be interested in him at all? What I'm trying to ask is: when you feel obligated to kiss your boyfriend, is it because of his uniqueness as a [i]person[/i] or because of all of his [i]good qualities[/i]? And if you can answer that question, then I think you will have cleared up a lot.
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[quote name='lostvoice']I may need more guts, though. I'll pul'em out of somewhere.[/quote]

[SIZE=1]Err... that gave me nasty thoughts of exposed large intestines. How odd, eh?

Now, personally, I don't think that trying to stay closer to him or simply letting him kiss you would lead to any major breakthrough here. If you ask me, the problem isn't anything 'physical', but in the fact that - as you said in your first post - you have a difficult time speaking to him openly. You said a couple of posts back that you sometimes wish that he would be more intimate towards you [or that someone else'd show up who would be instead, but we'll ignore that for now... >.<], but if he doesn't know that you want to become closer, he's going to keep giving you your space, thinking that you still [i]want[/i] space. He isn't letting you 'slip away' as you put it, he's simply trying to make sure that you feel comfortable in the relationship based on what you've told him or what he's noticed.

I can understand that it might be difficult for you, but just try to talk with him on a more open, personal level. Let him know what you're feeling, what you're worries are - [i]and[/i] let him know that you want to get past those worries - and if it works, it works.

...And listen to [...read?] Fasteriskhead's post thoroughly. Mull it over some. That there's some good pointage.[/SIZE]
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[quote name='Lonley Fighter']And guys stop trying to turn her gay...[/quote]

wtf?

No one is trying to "turn" anyone gay. I'm not the gay fairy; I do not have that talent. I simply asked a valid question and the answer I received indicates that lostvoice may be at least slightly sexually confused.

And for the record, it doesn't really make any sense to fight your gayness just because of your religion. If your God is any decent, he/she/it will allow gays into Heaven. So, when you turn gay and of age, be sure to post pics.
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[QUOTE=Charles]wtf?

No one is trying to "turn" anyone gay. I'm not the gay fairy; I do not have that talent. I simply asked a valid question and the answer I received indicates that lostvoice may be at least slightly sexually confused.

And for the record, it doesn't really make any sense to fight your gayness just because of your religion. If your God is any decent, he/she/it will allow gays into Heaven. So, when you turn gay and of age, be sure to post pics.[/QUOTE]

:animestun You want to see me kissing another chick?!?! :animeangr I'm not a porn star!! :animeangr

Thank you all, for the advice.Your all a great help. I really appreciate this. :animesmil I feel alot better now that I have a veiw of what's really going on.
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[QUOTE=lostvoice]:animestun You want to see me kissing another chick?!?! :animeangr I'm not a porn star!! :animeangr

Thank you all, for the advice.Your all a great help. I really appreciate this. :animesmil I feel alot better now that I have a veiw of what's really going on.[/QUOTE]
[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]You don't have to be a porn star. Just say you were really drunk when you eventually post them to MySpace/Friendster/FaceBook. Works for everyone else.[/font][/color][/size]
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[quote name='DeadSeraphim][size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]You don't have to be a porn star. Just say you were really drunk when you eventually post them to MySpace/Friendster/FaceBook. Works for everyone else.[/font][/color'][/size][/quote]

WAIT!! Who even said I was going to become a lesbian, anyway. So I'm curious, it Doesn't acually mean I'll end up that way, does it?

Of coarse that plan of yours might work Dead...but why does everyone here want to see me making out witha chick,anyway.
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[QUOTE=lostvoice]WAIT!! Who even said I was going to become a lesbian, anyway. So I'm curious, it Doesn't acually mean I'll end up that way, does it?

Of coarse that plan of yours might work Dead...but why does everyone here want to see me making out witha chick,anyway.[/QUOTE]
[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]Because we're male. I mean, seriously, duh.[/font][/color][/size]
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[quote name='lostvoice']But if I was a guy it'd be different, wouldn't it? Why is that? It's ok if your a gay female but a gay male isn't accepted around other males?[/quote]
[size=1][color=indigo][font=arial]Gay males don't have breasts. They're also much hairier. Makes them a lot less appealing.[/font][/color][/size]
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[quote name='Lonley Fighter']I'm saying it again stop trying to turn her GAY!![/quote][COLOR=maroon]I have to be honest here, I truly was disheartened when Charles said he was not a gay fairy. I mean, I've heard guys have turned gay for his sake, but this just makes that less believable...

You're right, though, there's nothing worth posting unless it hardcore anyway, which I somehow feel that might be against the rules. Doesn't hurt to try though.[/COLOR]
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[quote name='lostvoice']But if I was a guy it'd be different, wouldn't it? Why is that? It's ok if your a gay female but a gay male isn't accepted around other males?[/quote]

We don't just discriminate against gay men; we also discriminate against unattractive women. So, please post a pic so we can decide if you're hot enough to be gay or not. We have to take this one step at a time.

Let's face it. Your screen name itself is of Freudian significance. You may have your own supposed inspiration for choosing "lostvoice" but in reality, the name represents your surpressed gay urges--your true voice that has been "lost" in a moral tug-of-war between your religion and the hot chicks you know you crave.

Maybe it's time that you listened to this voice that has been lost for so long.
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[QUOTE=Charles]We don't just discriminate against gay men; we also discriminate against unattractive women. So, please post a pic so we can decide if you're hot enough to be gay or not. We have to take this one step at a time.

Let's face it. Your screen name itself is of Freudian significance. You may have your own supposed inspiration for choosing "lostvoice" but in reality, the name represents your surpressed gay urges--your true voice that has been "lost" in a moral tug-of-war between your religion and the hot chicks you know you crave.

Maybe it's time that you listened to this voice that has been lost for so long.[/QUOTE]
Charles, I think you might just posiibly be reading too far into her name. Let's just assume that you're right tho. Do you really think she'd say it here? Me? If she says she's strait, then she's strait.
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[QUOTE=Charles]Let's face it. Your screen name itself is of Freudian significance. You may have your own supposed inspiration for choosing "lostvoice" but in reality, the name represents your surpressed gay urges--your true voice that has been "lost" in a moral tug-of-war between your religion and the hot chicks you know you crave.

Maybe it's time that you listened to this voice that has been lost for so long.[/QUOTE]

[COLOR=SeaGreen][FONT=Tahoma]Wow Charles. Your logic is twisted.[/FONT][/COLOR]
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[QUOTE=Charles]Let's face it. Your screen name itself is of Freudian significance. You may have your own supposed inspiration for choosing "lostvoice" but in reality, the name represents your surpressed gay urges--your true voice that has been "lost" in a moral tug-of-war between your religion and the hot chicks you know you crave.

Maybe it's time that you listened to this voice that has been lost for so long.[/QUOTE]

[img]http://img177.imageshack.us/img177/6656/plotthickenskz7fw3.jpg[/img]
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Any bets on how much longer this thread stays open? Anyone?

Charles, chould her name possibly mean that she doesn't get understood by her peers or her parents don't listen to her?

Lostvoice, I'm srry we're doing this to you, but it sooo much fun to try to find out if women ar lesbian. We're guy's, sorry.
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[quote name='Sojiro47']Charles, I think you might just posiibly be reading too far into her name. Let's just assume that you're right tho. Do you really think she'd say it here? Me? If she says she's strait, then she's strait.[/quote]

Sojiro, 95% of OtakuBoards is in fact, gay. There's no place better to admit it than here--and so far she has not denied the possibility. So, her sexuality is in question. I'm a humble man, Sojiro and I just want to do what I can to help the topic creator from choking on a lolipop of lies. I don't know how many licks it takes to get to the center, but I'm ready to help her start using her tongue.

Seriously. Look at it this way--she is having problems getting intimate with her boyfriend. There's nothing obviously wrong with him and her reasons for being distant with him are unclear. It is not a mistake that she has decided to use the anonymity of the Internet as a safety net in her quest to uncover the truth behind this problem. She also has an intense girl-crush going on. I say that instead of discriminating against homosexuals and treating this as a heterosexual problem, we liberate her. After all, it's not like there's anything wrong with being gay. Right?
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Talking about persistance...Charles stop trying to turn her gay and her little name "lostvoice" I'm pretty sure of doesn't hid any lesbinic (if that's a word) urges, I personally think the name lostvoice signafies an small voice that has been lost in the sounds around it ya' know something like that berhaps a lost...somethin'.
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[quote name='Lonley Fighter']Talking about persistance...Charles stop trying to turn her gay and her little name "lostvoice" I'm pretty sure of doesn't hid any lesbinic (if that's a word) urges, I personally think the name lostvoice signafies an small voice that has been lost in the sounds around it ya' know something like that berhaps a lost...somethin'.[/quote]

[color=crimson]Dude.

Shh. Just.. shh.[/color]
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