Solo Tremaine Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 [color=#503f86][b]Method 18: Pretend To Hate It[/b] Find something about the 'Boards that you don't like and make that the crux of your apparent OB hatred, taking time to complain about anything else that happens to irk you along the way. Insults should be thinly-veiled (unless directed at the less popular members) to avoid being banned. This way you can just about escape warning-free. It helps to throw in crude jokes or the odd swear word. Pretend to be better/cooler/know more than everyone else, so every post is apparently a waste of your time. Woe betide anyone who should criticize you. Through your stinging commentaries on various members, thread topics and site designs; your sarcastic, semi-insulting comments will glean you a charm amongst the OB populace, and while you have a cantakerous, argumentative and rude outer facade, inside you will be standing proudly on your OB podium with a smile on your face and a tear in your eye. Weaknesses: Don't expect to get modded if you start like this from the off. And make sure to hide those early posts wherein you were a lowly, unconfident newbie with a font two sizes too big for your words, asking sheepishly 'Can I post my wallpaper here?', otherwise your big 'bad-boy' image is shattered forever. And of course, you leave yourself open to the one fatal flaw in the 'Pretend To Hate It' method; the simple question: If you dislike the site so much, why are you here? And then you may just have to admit that, actually, you really do love it here and cry every time you get torn away from the screen to go to bed. This method can sometimes be confused with Method 1, but while those using that method can just be jerks, people who Pretend To Hate It are not always necessarily jerks. Your mentors: cloricus, Altron Gundam, DeadSeraphim [b]Method 19: Love Yourself[/b] Some would argue that the best way to acquaint everyone with yourself is by a massive self-advertising campaign. After all, who knows you better than yourself, hmm? How will all these people appreciate your greatness if someone doesn't tell them how good you are? Write humourous fan-fictions starring yourself, constantly, and don't let up for a second. Self-confidence is a great thing, so use it to your advantage! Weaknesses: Believe it or not, people can have too much of a good thing, so it's best to give them a break every now and again. Heavens, even [i]you[/i] may tire from seeing your own face too often! And that would be a great shame. Your mentors: Dragon Warrior [b]Accompaniment to Any Method:[/b] Once your popularity is established, by this or other methods, you may want to start self-gratifying threads about OtakuBoards so you can count how many times your name pops up. You may want to namedrop as many people as possible in order to get reciprocation. This is an indulgence many people undertake, popular or not, so don't worry if someone has beaten you to it. Either way, if your name doesn't come up enough, it's time to get working again![/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerdsy Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 [quote name='2007DigitalBoy][COLOR=DarkOrange']>_> a hobo? Well, I had a list of things I could contest this with, but then I could think of at least one reason someone could counter each of them, so I guess i'm a smelly hobo... although according to indiff I'm acutally a rat...[/COLOR][/quote] [color=deeppink]Rats can be smelly hobos too. We're all about equal opportunity here at OB.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aberinkula Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 [COLOR=Navy]DB, you don't have to worry about being a rat/hobo. I'm in a lower rank than you, just ask everyone else in this thread, they'll probably tell you the same.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nerdsy Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 [color=deeppink][b]Method 20: Pretend your sister died.[/b] Think your OB history is just a little [i]too[/i] respectable? Want to shake things up a bit? Luckily for you, the solution to your problem is a simple one; tell everyone you just went through a horrible tragedy! To apply it properly, wait for someone to criticize you. Don't worry, its OB; it'll happen in no time. Respond to that criticism with a simple "you jerk my sister just died today," and you're in! The harsher the criticism the better, but timing is also a factor. Use your judgment. The best part of it is, it's foolproof! Who's going to question that story? There's no need to keep up the charade on other OB related message boards; it's not like anyone's going to check, right? Just sit back and bask in the attention. [b]The Downside?[/b] Sooner or later, somebody [i]will[/i] figure it out. Chances are, if you have to resort to something like this, you're not the brightest bulb. As such, the ill-gotten superstardom will fade quickly, often in a day or two, and you will then become an OB pariah. Keep up crap like this, and you're sure to be banned, which makes this method the perfect lead-in to the "Getting Banned in a Spectacular Way." In all actuality, it's a win-win! [b]Mentors:[/b] Ultimia.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 OMG did I just see Solo?! Hah, you naughty furry still haven't got yourself weaned from us, have you? ;P Anyways, how come no-ones mentioned the method of [B]spending half your life here[/B]? Okay, I've "only" been here for five years, but it really feels like an eternity, and some of you have been here many years before me. Each of the members who've been at least somewhat active for that many years are naturally superstars here. [QUOTE=Nerdsy][color=deeppink][b]Method 20: Pretend your sister died.[/b] Think your OB history is just a little [i]too[/i] respectable? Want to shake things up a bit? Luckily for you, the solution to your problem is a simple one; tell everyone you just went through a horrible tragedy! To apply it properly, wait for someone to criticize you. Don't worry, its OB; it'll happen in no time. Respond to that criticism with a simple "you jerk my sister just died today," and you're in! The harsher the criticism the better, but timing is also a factor. Use your judgment. The best part of it is, it's foolproof! Who's going to question that story? There's no need to keep up the charade on other OB related message boards; it's not like anyone's going to check, right? Just sit back and bask in the attention. [b]The Downside?[/b] Sooner or later, somebody [i]will[/i] figure it out. Chances are, if you have to resort to something like this, you're not the brightest bulb. As such, the ill-gotten superstardom will fade quickly, often in a day or two, and you will then become an OB pariah. Keep up crap like this, and you're sure to be banned, which makes this method the perfect lead-in to the "Getting Banned in a Spectacular Way." In all actuality, it's a win-win! [b]Mentors:[/b] Ultimia.[/color][/QUOTE] This reminds me of [B]Tyler Koregaten[/B], who posted threadfuls of sob stories how he lost his brother and family for his job as a state alchemist of Germany. Then he'd get pissed off when no-one believed his Fullmetal-Alchemist-come-true fantasies... *rolls eyes* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 [color=#ff2200][b]Method 21: OMG POST COUNT[/b] A by-product of almost all of the above methods is an increasing post-count. This is great, because a having a high postcount is a form of superstardom all by itself! To [i]really[/i] reach Superstar status, though, you need to post a [i]lot[/i]?we're talking an average of fifty times a day. This means you need to post in [i]every[/i] thread on the boards, multiple times?it helps to have a fellow candidate for superdom to work with, because that allows you and your partner to raise your counts simultaneously by holding converations in multiple threads. Another option is to join the hell out of as many RPGs as possible and just [i]go at it[/i]. [b]Drawbacks[/b]: This is an old-fashioned method, made almost obsolete by the current format of the boards, which does not automatically display your post count in the header of your post. Don't worry! You can add your post count to your signature, custom title, avatar, or simply mention it in every post you make! [b]Bonus:[/b] Everyone knows who you are, not only because of your post-count ([i]that's[/i] why they [i]respect[/i] you), but by sheer force of presence. You're inescapable. You're everywhere! [i]Your Mentors[/i]: thimoc, firemac, ulitmia, neuvoxraiha [b]Method 22: Form an elitist clique, mention it frequently, and don't let anyone else join.[/b] Choose your clique members wisely! You don't want nondescript members dragging your group down?no one would care about a club made of ten Naruto fans! You want to associate yourself with high-profile (or upwardly-mobile) members. This is best used in combination with one of the above methods to [i]cement[/i] your status in the minds of others. Not only are you great... you're [i]so[/i] great that you're in an exclusive club! And everyone else is out-of-luck, because unless they're [i]already[/i] in... they're just not good enough to join. [i]Your Mentors[/i]: Adam's Angels, Otaku Triad[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fasteriskhead Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 You lost me at "Superstar" being in the same sentence as "Internet" and "OtakuBoards." Now, [URL=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcBs8QHpGdo][u]"Megastar"[/u][/URL] on the other hand... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solo Tremaine Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 [quote name='Sandy']OMG did I just see Solo?! Hah, you naughty furry still haven't got yourself weaned from us, have you? ;P[/quote][color=#503f86]Eheh, sort of. Just a passing winge :p Good to see youse all again. I'd rather not be called a furry any more, though. I don't think I ever wanted to be called a furry, in fact- I don't really agree with the label.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 [QUOTE=Solo Tremaine][color=#503f86]Eheh, sort of. Just a passing winge :p Good to see youse all again. I'd rather not be called a furry any more, though. I don't think I ever wanted to be called a furry, in fact- I don't really agree with the label.[/color][/QUOTE] Aww, come on, Hugey! You can't say that with the hunky wolf still as your avatar. It was meant more as a friendly jab, anyway. ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2010DigitalBoy Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 [COLOR=DarkOrange]ZOMG we forgot the most important one! [B]Method 23: Super-annoying catch phrase[/B] Coin yourself a phrase and use it as often as possible, preferedly in every single post. No matter how many cease and desist PMs and annoyed posts people send at you, keep using it as if you don't even notice it. Pretty soon it'll be in every OB parody that comes around and become synonymous with your name. [B]Mentors[/B]: Gavin[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solo Tremaine Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 [quote name='Sandy']Aww, come on, Hugey! You can't say that with the hunky wolf still as your avatar. It was meant more as a friendly jab, anyway. ;D[/quote][COLOR=#503F86]No, I know ^_~ 'Furry' just has so many negative connotations, you know? I'm just not a 'furry' furry (as in, with weird sexual practices and drama and bizarre costumes and whatnot). Just a normal person with furry tendencies, I guess. And the wolf's staying. he's cool ^_^[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinmaru Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 Frankly, the easiest way is to sleep your way to the top. Everything else takes care of itself after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Maul Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 [quote name='Shinmaru']Frankly, the easiest way is to sleep your way to the top. Everything else takes care of itself after that.[/quote][size=1][color=DimGray] You're damn skippy it does! [/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 How about impersonating other famous members? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raiyuu Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 [b]Method 21a: Start ten trillion threads [/b]Run out of threads with which to up your post count? Start some new ones! But make sure they're all along the same lines - you don't want people just thinking "so-and-so started loads of threads today". You want people thinking "OMG where did all those game threads come from". When they work it out your name will become synonymous with that subject. [b]Mentors: [/b]ChibiHorsewoman (game threads), Adahn (pretentious pseudophilosophy) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Maul Posted June 22, 2007 Share Posted June 22, 2007 [size=1][color=DimGray] [b]24[/b]: [b]Rephrase everything that's already been said, bashing members in the process[/b]. Also, whenever people attempt to actually participate in the discussion, throw a wrench in the works by holding a completely unrelated conversation with another member in the same thread. People will then realize that you are "too cool for rules" and blindly follow you in admiration. B[/color][/size][size=1][color=DimGray]lat[/color][/size][size=1][color=DimGray]ant sarcasm works, too. [b]Mentors:[/b] Like I'm actually going to list names. [/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
conpiracymonki Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 [size=1][b] Method Number 25: Dont be an AJeh[/b] These membertypes are the (very loosely said) 'all-rounders' who dont seem to excel in any of the other 24 previously mentioned methods. Instead they linger on in the forums for prolonged periods of time before decidingly disappearing very suddenly, lest they become too visible. Because of this, these members usually have extremely long but inconsistent (and regrettably forgettable, in the bigger picture) lifespans compared to most. Though this may suggest that these members [i]may[/i] have a real social life they are more dedicated to, the odds are against it (just like with most other anime forum member types). [b]Non-mentor(s):[/b] AJeh, other forgettable oldies, current few in the making[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 [size=1][b]Method 26: Get away with stuff[/b] The saying 'Go big or go home' applies here. The idea is to violate the rules so frequently and in such significant ways that you will inspire shock and awe among your fellow members. The moderating staff will be so blown away by your blatant disregard for authority that they won't know how to react, and in the end, probably won't react at all. As long as you get away with it people will respect you (or probably hate you, but either way you'll get your name out there.) Weaknesses: Unfortunately, your rebellious nature will be your undoing when you are banned for one of your relatively minor offenses (as opposed to one of the [i]really big[/i] offenses you have been committing for months.) The trick is to keep outdoing yourself and stay away from gaming discussions. Just remember that there will come a time when you have to choose between violating federal law or losing your reputation at an internet message board. [i]I think you know which choice to make.[/i] Role Models: The term 'role model' doesn't seem quite fitting with this particular method. I'm sure they have some examples listed at your local post office. -Shy[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desbreko Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 [color=#4B0082]More lolz and less thread derailment plz.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Blue Jihad Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 [b]Method 27: Brainwash Others[/b] So maybe you're not the best-looking person around. Maybe you don't practice what some call "good hygiene." Maybe you're just totally fugly with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. To put it simply, maybe you're a gigantic douche. But you still have a chance to be a superstar at OB. Just get a few of your IRL friends to register at OB, and position yourself so they'll start a "[your name here] for Moderator" campaign, including banners, avatars, etc. Pretty soon everyone will know who you are, regardless of whether you actually became a moderator or not. [b]Drawbacks:[/b] One problem with this method is that if your friends happen to be bigger douches than you, are crazy, or go crazy, or screw something up, it'll reflect poorly on your campaign, which will reflect poorly on you. It's like modern American politics. [b]Examples:[/b] PoisonTongue, Drix D'Zanth (it was an obscure campaign, but it was there), Barack Obama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anakoni Stark Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 [QUOTE=Desbreko][color=#4B0082] [b]Method 10: Be obsessive and proud of it.[/b] Find something to obsess about -- something [i]other[/i] than Naruto and Kingdom Hearts, mind you -- and display your obsession proudly. The more eccentric the obsession is, the more likely you are to get noticed. Take every opportunity to display a wide range of knowledge about your object of obsession, make references to it frequently, and find ways to relate it to other subjects of conversation. Keep it up consistently and you'll build a reputation as, "that person who's crazy about...." If your obsession happens to match up with one of the forums you'll also have a decent chance of becoming a moderator this way. Just be careful not to come off as a stupid fanboy/girl. [i]Your mentors:[/i] Desbreko, Aaryanna, Charles[/color][/QUOTE] [Size=1] you forgot one person! [points to himself and his obession with [URL=http://www.blocparty.com][B]Bloc Party[/B][/URL]][/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 [quote name='Felix Santiago][Size=1] you forgot one person! [points to himself and his obession with [URL=http://www.blocparty.com][B]Bloc Party[/B][/URL]'][/SIZE][/quote][color=#db2007]I think a big part of superstardom is the fact that I know who you are. But I don't know who you are. Or what bloc party is. You're clearly not obsessive enough to be a superstar. Keep trying, though.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skye Posted June 23, 2007 Share Posted June 23, 2007 [QUOTE=The Boss][color=darkred][size=1] [b][u]Method 9:[/b][/u] Be H-O-T, Attractive. One of the oldest ways of being liked from the get go. Be good looking. It's not that complicated, and while tastes may differ, usually SOMEONE's going to like you for what your Mama gave ya. Sometimes it's unanimous, other times it's a small crowd of admirers. Hopefully it's the former for you. Just don't be shy, and it should work... oh, and don't be a liar. No body likes an identity theft. [b][u][i]Mentors:[/u][/i][/b] Neuvoxraiha, BabyGirl, Sandy, Annie, Revelation, Ezekiel, The Boss, Shy, [b]Caoimhe[/b], White, DeadSeraphim, Retribution (hawt).[/color][/size][/QUOTE] [size=1][color=blue]Have I ever mentioned that I effing love you? [grabs you] Mine. :P[/size][/color] [QUOTE=The Blue Jihad]Method 27: Brainwash Others So maybe you're not the best-looking person around. Maybe you don't practice what some call "good hygiene." Maybe you're just totally fugly with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. To put it simply, maybe you're a gigantic douche. But you still have a chance to be a superstar at OB. Just get a few of your IRL friends to register at OB, and position yourself so they'll start a "[your name here] for Moderator" campaign, including banners, avatars, etc. Pretty soon everyone will know who you are, regardless of whether you actually became a moderator or not. Drawbacks: One problem with this method is that if your friends happen to be bigger douches than you, are crazy, or go crazy, or screw something up, it'll reflect poorly on your campaign, which will reflect poorly on you. It's like modern American politics. Examples: PoisonTongue, [b]Drix D'Zanth[/b] (it was an obscure campaign, but it was there), Barack Obama.[/QUOTE] [size=1][color=blue]I think he hated me. Or she. Or whatever. But Drix was like my personal "[b]No, honey, don't touch that[/b]" person until I changed my username. :P That story goes up there with the "Get Away With Stuff" rule that Shy mentioned. If anyone remembers a Sailor Star, you know what I mean.[/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 [QUOTE=Solo Tremaine][color=#503f86][b]Method 18: Pretend To Hate It[/b] Find something about the 'Boards that you don't like and make that the crux of your apparent OB hatred, taking time to complain about anything else that happens to irk you along the way. Insults should be thinly-veiled (unless directed at the less popular members) to avoid being banned. This way you can just about escape warning-free. It helps to throw in crude jokes or the odd swear word. Pretend to be better/cooler/know more than everyone else, so every post is apparently a waste of your time. Woe betide anyone who should criticize you. Through your stinging commentaries on various members, thread topics and site designs; your sarcastic, semi-insulting comments will glean you a charm amongst the OB populace, and while you have a cantakerous, argumentative and rude outer facade, inside you will be standing proudly on your OB podium with a smile on your face and a tear in your eye. Weaknesses: Don't expect to get modded if you start like this from the off. And make sure to hide those early posts wherein you were a lowly, unconfident newbie with a font two sizes too big for your words, asking sheepishly 'Can I post my wallpaper here?', otherwise your big 'bad-boy' image is shattered forever. And of course, you leave yourself open to the one fatal flaw in the 'Pretend To Hate It' method; the simple question: If you dislike the site so much, why are you here? And then you may just have to admit that, actually, you really do love it here and cry every time you get torn away from the screen to go to bed. This method can sometimes be confused with Method 1, but while those using that method can just be jerks, people who Pretend To Hate It are not always necessarily jerks. [/color][/QUOTE] [color=#808080]This is probably one of the best posts I've ever read on OtakuBoards. Thanks, Solo. [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathKnight Posted June 24, 2007 Share Posted June 24, 2007 [color=crimson]I'm not really sure how to react to only being classified as a troll thus far. I should find a bridge to live under.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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