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What is Love?


Elk
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[FONT="Palatino Linotype"][CENTER]To me, there's many kinds of love: a parent hitting their child to show them what's right and what's wrong, an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend showing their affection even though the relationship is over, or a best friend offering for their friend to spend the night at their house when s/he's depressed.

But, there is that "fake love," as my best friend and I call it.
Example: A boyfriend smacking their girlfriend because she was "cheating" when she was really hugging her own cousin, then is told that the boyfriend loves her more than anyone else less than an hour later.

Or...
A girlfriend cheating on their boyfriend, and tells him that he's the only one for her, when she only says that to get close to his brother/best friend/family member.[/CENTER][/FONT]
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Know one really understands love because it is used in so many ways!
Love as in you're in love with someone

Love as in your family!

[quote name='Rachmaninoff']I agree with that but I would expand it to include that you don't begrudge the time spent on someone else. You might spend more time than you would for someone you didn't love deeply, where for the person you really care for, you are more willing to do so and don't mind the time sacrificed.[/QUOTE]

BTW Cool Lunar Siggy my #1 Fav. RPG!
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[COLOR="HotPink"][SIZE="1"]Not to be completely insensitive in this situation. But-[/SIZE][/color]

[CENTER][IMG]http://www.teambath.com/wp-content/uploads/Football%205%20(Small).JPG[/IMG]

[SIZE="4"]LOVE IS FOOTBALL![/SIZE][/CENTER]

[color=hotpink]
[SIZE="1"]Look at all that love.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="hotPink"]But... say we were speaking of love, in American Standard Football terms. Then love would look like[url=http://web.grcc.edu/Athletics/2006/mens/football/images/football.jpg] this.[/url]

If you really think hard about what I'm saying here. I think you will truly get a good understanding of what love is. Indeed.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
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[quote name='sbsp13668'][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][COLOR="Yellow"]Please, try to forgive my cynical *** after this one...

Love is money, sex, and power. Or my favourite way of putting it is: Love=Lust![/COLOR][/FONT][/QUOTE]

Lol, love is certainly not lust.

In my experience love is when your thoughts and feelings no longer pertain to yourself or your own agenda. You care more about another's well-being and you want them to reach the maximum of their potential. When you wake up and realize to yourself that without that person or persons your life would be drastically different, that it may even lose a lot of the meaning it holds with those people in your life.
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Love? I'll tell you what love is. I live with a girl who I love. She's my roommate, and although she's sent me mixed signals, she insists there will never be anything more than friendship between us. As for a brief back story on her, her dad recently died, and she's been kicked out of her home for drug issues (she's clean now). She lived by herself in an apartment, which she could barely afford to make payments on (she makes about 800 a month and has a 500 a month bill). She also has the tendency to make bad choices, especially in relationships. If there is one thing she wants more than anything, it's to go back to college. And that's what she's doing.
While I was living with my dad, everything was free. I had plenty of money to spend on video games and other useless ****. I gave all that and more up for her. I moved into the dirty, roach filled apartment with her, and her attitude since then has become more and more hostile towards me. I have been by her side when she needs me the most, just to be cast aside when she's feeling better. When her ex boyfriend got her pregnant, I was the one who put up $300 for a procedure. When she can't afford to pay the rent, I pay it for her. What have I received for this? Misery. I have to constantly deal with her short temper. I have to deal with her refusing to sleep in the same room as me. And I have to deal with listening to her have sex with the other apartment tenants while I sleep. Why do I do this? Because if I help her pay her rent and bail her out of these situations, she can afford to go back to school. And if 10 years from now she's living her life and she has a great job and is happy, then I will be the one who made that happen. I would have made her life better, despite the fact that I'm going through hell to do so. That's what love is.
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That sounds more like being in an abusive relationship that isn't worth the trouble than love MaskedRider. It also sounds like...

"I'm a doormat, come step on me again, you missed a spot."

Seriously, if you really think that's love... Then in my opinion, you've got a lot to learn since that isn't it. Not by a long shot. There's another word for it, but it eludes me at the moment, well other than I know love isn't it.
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[SIZE="1"]I'm afraid I have to agree with Rach's opinion of your relationship MaskedRider, it's certainly isn't love, and it certainly isn't healthy for you.

While your original intentions may have been benevolent, it is clear that you're now becoming bitter about a relationship which you believe exists that in reality doesn't. You talk about providing for her in her times of need and then add that she won't sleep in your room with you, and forces you to listen to her having sex with others. Although I don't intend it to sound harsh, it's pretty clear what you want in return for your help.

What the two of you have isn't even a friendship judging by your own descriptions of her actions and attitudes. In continuing to provide for her when she can't provide for herself, all you're actually doing is perpetuating her ability to avoid facing up to her own mistakes. While I wouldn't go as far to say that you should've forced her to go through with having the child to learn to take responsibility for her actions, it would not be an inaccurate to the overall point.

She was kicked out of her mother's house for her drug problems, and despite now being clean remains living in what you call a "dirty roach-filled apartment". Obviously there's something keeping her there rather than returning home where the financial requirements would be lessened and she would be able to return to school more easily.

In the end MaskedRider, if you really love her like you claim and despite as cliché as it sounds, let her go. If you take yourself out of the equation, I have a feeling she?ll recognise she needs to take responsibility of herself, and you?ll have the chance to experience some real relationships. Maybe in ten years when she?s cleaned up her act and become as successful as you hope then you two will be able to be together, but right now, it?s self-destructive for you both.[/SIZE]
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[SIZE="1"][COLOR="hotPink"]MaskedRider, [I]never[/I] let a girl walk all over you like that. An occasional act of kindness is fine. But, after a while... it seems she's just taking advantage of you. Perhaps you should show her what they call "tough love". She needs to take control of her own life, without the support of a person she barely ever shows any kindness in return to. Show her that she took for granted a person that was there for her numerous times.

Now. I'll tell you you guys what I'm feeling as far as love goes. I love this girl named Tiffani, who actually lives... say... 100 miles from my area? But, I actually think I'm falling for her. As in, [I]in love[/I]. We've already promised each other that if neither of us had lovers by the time I was out of the house, then we would get married just because. She makes me feel... Awesome. And of course, I'm way too shy to tell her that I'm falling for her a little bit. She actually cares about me. It's pretty crazy. One time, I told her that I didn't want to talk to her for a while, because she had broken up with her boyfriend Nathan without reason. Nathan, being a good friend of mine (who I don't want to hurt by sharing my feelings to Tiffani)...Anyway, Tiffani called him, and was actually sobbing because the thought of me not talking to her was overwhelming. I had no idea she cared [I]that much[/I]. Until then, I thought I was just some guy friend that lived kind of far away.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
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[COLOR="Indigo"][quote name='Rachmaninoff']There's another word for it, but it eludes me at the moment, well other than I know love isn't it.[/QUOTE]I think you might have been thinking of this word here: [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependence"][U]Codependence[/U][/URL] As the others have already said MaskedRider... that's a destructive cycle you're in, not a loving relationship. And since the others already covered it, I'll leave it at that.[/COLOR]
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Unfortunately, codependence seems to describe my relationship very well. Now in no way do I want to end this relationship, seeing as much as I've worked on it, but I know something must be done. She pushes me around, and I use the excuse that she's sick or in a bad mood. I love her, I truly do, and I want to do everything I can to make her happy. But I don't think I should be miserable in the process. I'm going to leave her a very in depth letter telling her how I feel, and I hope she'll talk to me.
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I don't think you'll like her response to an in-depth letter. To be honest, if you feel you need to continue this relationship, you should verbally talk to her. A letter...well, it can't display the kind of earth shaking emotion you're going to need to get through to her.

I share the same opinion as the others, get out of this situation, stop feeding her so much undeserved aid and let her learn how to live on her own.
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Thanks for the advice, but it seems everything is working out. Apparently the primary problem is that we saw too much of each other. I mean, we work together and live together. As of last Monday, we've both gone back to college, and now we barely see each other. So when we do finally see each other, we get along really well. It's like the last month and a half never happened. We're bf f's again. I'm happy, she's happy.
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