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The Spectacular Professor

It's Independence Day... In America!

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[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][CENTER][IMG]http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n72/Aceburner85/Banditkeith-smirks.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER]

Hello, Fellow Americans of OB. Bandit Keith here. As you all know, Today is the birthday of America, the greatest country in all the world including America. I understand that some of you are not Americans. Well guess what? You should move here and get your citizenship. Then you can stop being sissy wimps and start punching like real Americans! In America! Anyway, for all of you people who are in America right now, what did you do to say happy birthday to your great nation today? Did you watch the fireworks? Did you set off some fireworks? Did you get tossed in the can for setting off fireworks inside city limits? That's awesome! As for me, I tattooed the American flag to my American back like a true American! In America!

[SIZE="1"]*Please note that this entire thread is tongue in cheek and not meant to offend anyone. After all, Keith is Canadian. However, the subject really is what you did for Independence Day.[/SIZE][/FONT]

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[color=royalblue][size=1]

Blasphemy! I refuse to believe that Bandit Keith is anything but the utmost of American!

Anyways, I hung with the family, grilled out, saw a few fireworks, though not many... also I got some poppers for my little brother. It was alright day, though, not the most spectacular of American Birthdays for me.

However, Glory to America! Greatest Country in the entire universe, even that really American one behind Pluto.[/color][/size]

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Hell yeah, boy. You preach that Red, White and Blue!

Shyit, son. Hell yeah, I'm an American, boy. Yeah, I go to church every Sunday, and I listen to Creed, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and Bon by-God Jovi!

You know what Bon Jovi means in French? Freedom.

You know what Lynyrd Skynyrd means in Latin? Freedom.

You know what America means in American? God damn freedom!

Hell yeah, I shot off some firecrackers at the neighbor's house. I talked politics with my family (hell yeah, John McCain!). And I made fun of French people with their frenchy stuff.

And I drank beer. Then I went went to Wal-Mart without a spit cup. So you know what I did? I spit on the floor! Why, you ask?! Because this is America, you damn Commi terrorist frenchy boy!

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[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]I did COMPLETELY illegal things with my good redneck All American friends. We had black powder. And a miniature cannon. And swab. And yeaaaaah...

Bottle rockets fired from bottles of Corona, hidden in the folds of my very large skirt when police drove by. And a huge suitcase stuffed with all manner of totally banned fireworks. Although me, being Chinese, felt like I was at one LONG funeral procession. Fellow Asians will get the joke.[/FONT][/COLOR]

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[COLOR="DarkGreen"][FONT="Book Antiqua"]My day was pretty normal. I hung out with family and friends and enjoyed lunch and dinner which consisted of yummy stuff my mom and I made. Then later I watched the big fireworks while Aaryanna decided to growl at all the noise people setting off fireworks were making.[/FONT][/COLOR]

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[COLOR=#6d527f][SIZE="1"][FONT="Trebuchet MS"]During most of the day I didn't do much of anything special besides a pool party. However at night is when the fun began, you haven't lived a full life until you've played tag in the night with bottle rockets. Well either that or have one of your fireworks misfire and not gain nearly enough height before it explodes in your face. All in all, I enjoyed myself.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

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[quote name='Raiha'][COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Although me, being Chinese, felt like I was at one LONG funeral procession. Fellow Asians will get the joke.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]
[color=#9933ff]lol. ;)

Bandit Keith is totally American! In fact, he eats Canadian flags for lunch. ¬_¬

Um, but seriously, the fourth in my area was really overcast all day. There was music goin' in my house, and my mom and I danced like silly people. =) We had some tostitos, cheese, gaucamole, and my mom let me have some Sam Adams. There was yummy steak and salad for dinner.

We have a lot of illegal fireworks bought from another state, so we lit those after dark, although none of them flew into the air. They were all variants on really big sparklers (which are also illegal in New Jersey. Yes, sparklers.)[/color]

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[font=Arial]I went to New York City (and am still here now) to visit some friends for the 4th. We broke into the rooftop of one of the high-rises on campus, which has a magnificent panoramic view of the entire city. From there, it was smoking and drinking as we watched the fireworks explode downtown... it was great.

Then, I won a game of Texas Hold 'Em, a true American game.

Generally a low-key night, but fun nonetheless.[/font]

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Let's see, played achaea...and went to work. Work was relatively easy until we got the post fireworks rush....yeah..

And I got paid normally. While minimum waged safeway workers got paid twice the time and a half....gotta love McDonalds.

I don't mind it so much. My paycheck is going to be sooooooo sweet.

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[font=trebuchet ms]I watched my drunk cousin play Grand Theft Auto IV and laughed my *** off at how ridiculous it is. Also I watched [i]Arrested Development[/i] all day, which, btw, is probably the greatest television series... in America!

[/font]

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America has fallen I think. We were once a great people, now we live in a crumbling nation polluted with worthless people and stupid politicians.

Fortunately, but also unfortunately, nations and empires never last more than 350 years. Given that the US was established in 1776, and we are in 2008 now, it is likely that many of us may be alive when the huns- who have already appeared as the terrorist groups of the world, succeed in destroying this country.

In addition, the economy is on the verge of collapse due to rising energy costs, and thus far it looks like no solutions are feasible in the long term.

So yes, America is still great in some ways. However it is losing it's shine. Do not come to the United States of America, because the dream that built this country is no longer what runs this country. All you'll find here is hard work, low wages, greedy politicians, businessmen, the IRS center, and a few cultural relics that have survived the passage of time.

Instead, we are now powered by bureaucrats and commercial interests.

In any case, remembering those who followed their dream and built a country of dreams is what fourth of July is really about, not fireworks beer and barbecues.

I like to think that the American Dream still lives in the hearts of those who live in this country, but for many all that remains is pride- nothing else makes america different from the rest of the world anymore.

Someday, the dream will be reborn again in this land. It could only be in America that the American Dream lives. But for now, enjoy the fireworks and parties, and remember the dream that built all we have.

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[color=crimson]However, America has not fallen in one regard - barbecuing. While other areas of our vast nation faces the strains and stresses of the global and domestic economics or politics, here in Texas we remain firmly dedicated to the fine art of barbecuing. Indeed, I can report to the OtakuBoards community at large that, having tasted a great deal of good Texas barbecue last night, we have nothing to fear from international competition in the barbecuing field![/color]

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[QUOTE]America has fallen I think. We were once a great people, now we live in a crumbling nation polluted with worthless people and stupid politicians. [/QUOTE]

[COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]Yeah, it's pretty funny how 'the world's greatest country' has deteriorated to a bunch of idiotic politicians, polluting bastards, and judgemental morons who can't except people for who they are. For example, the homophobe's. Haha! It's funny how the greatest country is ignorant to gay marriage >_>, and gay/bi people themselves. I'm glad my friends and my girlfriend don't judge me for the latter of the two. And also let's not forget the Christians... :animesigh

Boy I rant!

Anyways, yesterday I went and saw the best fireworks evuh. The local fire-department spent over 10,000 dollars on the fireworks, and I had a close view of them, they were magnificent. I went with my girlfriend and my other friends and it was the ****. But the parade earlier that day was boring. Also the day before was spent playing Rock Band, which is always fun.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

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[quote name='Aberinkula'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]And also let's not forget the Christians... :animesigh[/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Let's also not forget that Christians in general are nothing like Fred Phelps or any of those other radical morons who set their own standards, decide everyone else is scum and only quote the three passages from the Bible that support their stupid unchristian bigot ideals, all the while never even considering that the rest of the Bible tells them that they're more misguided than Hitler. Thanks for the generalization, Prem. Nice to know how the world views my kind.

You know what I like? A good ol' fashioned American burger. In America![/FONT]

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[CENTER][FONT="Palatino Linotype"]I watched the fireworks that my neighbors set off until the cops showed up at about 11 PM. They're much more dazzling when they're closer, and besides, I like the loud cracking noises.

During the day, my little brother and my dad took me kayaking. It was full and all until my brother decided to tip it over. I was planning on staying dry the whole day. I should've known that was impossible with my brother around.

America isn't so great in my opinion, and yes, I'm American. I just dislike our president. I'll be glad when he's out of office and someone else has a chance to restore our nation.[/FONT][/CENTER]

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I'm going to hold off on the America bashing because one: there's always some place that has it worse and two: the grass is always greener on the other side... until you get there that is. Anyway...

My fourth of July plans got shot to hell. Originally it was to attend a barbecue with family and friends and then later go to fireworks in the evening. However, some loser decided that getting drunk in the morning was what the fourth was all about. Naturally said loser decided that driving was a bright idea and ran a red light and wrecked the car that Indi and her friends were in.

So instead I spent the day at the hospital keeping her company. For an accident, she didn't get seriously hurt, but still enough that she only just got released a few hours ago. So yeah, that was my fourth of July. I did see the big fireworks, but only because the hospital staff chased us out once visiting hours were over.

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[quote name='Aceburner']Thanks for the generalization, Prem. Nice to know how the world views my kind.[/quote]

[COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]Oh, I'm Christian too, I meant to point out that certain church >_> Westboro Baptist Church I believe. Ignorant bastards... And also the priests that say being gay is a sin, than they turn around and molest little boys... *sigh* I was just being too general

Yeah I could use a burger as well :animesigh[/SIZE][/COLOR]

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[quote name='Aberinkula'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]Oh, I'm Christian too, I meant to point out that certain church >_> Westboro Baptist Church I believe. Ignorant bastards... And also the priests that say being gay is a sin, than they turn around and molest little boys... *sigh* I was just being too general [/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]You were being too general, don't confuse individual actions with a religion. Just because they belong to a religion doesn't mean that the faith actually approves of the actions they are engaging in. Said individuals are just stupid hypocrites and not real Christians anyway.

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[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Times New Roman"]Thank you Rach. And thank you Ace. Thank you for saving me from the trouble of crucifying Prem on the altar of "He Made Too Many Generalizations."

Even if I think America today has been hijacked by a psychotic left wing that thinks society has died and left them in charge of saving everyone from themselves, I still would rather be here than in Cuba. China. Africa. Venuzuela. Sensing a theme here?

Because we still have the freedom to disagree with each other and the freedom to choose who will be the next one to take a crack at being the leader of the free world. Such as it is. It's naive to think that a president will be the one to singlehandedly save the world. Or restore us to our former glory. What glory? The second World War is over. War isn't glamorous anymore because we made the mistake of letting people see what it's really like. But that's not really the point. Nothing can save us now but a little Deus Ex Machina. Which nobody has lying around in their closets I'm sure. And it's also depressing when you consider the fact that the person everyone's thinking is Mr. Change has a wife that thinks Obama will "Heal America's Souls."

But what the heck. It's not the Fourth anymore but thus far nobody I know has been arrested for the massive amounts of black powder, and also those fun long sparklers. I agree. Sparklers? Illegal? What will they do, give you a seizure? I mean they are almost always set off on someone's driveway which means that the hose is two feet from you at almost all times. THE HOSE PEOPLE. [/FONT][/COLOR]

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[quote name='Aberinkula'][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]Oh, I'm Christian too, I meant to point out that certain church >_> Westboro Baptist Church I believe. Ignorant bastards... And also the priests that say being gay is a sin, than they turn around and molest little boys... *sigh* I was just being too general

Yeah I could use a burger as well :animesigh[/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]'S all good. Just kinda lost my head there since I'm tired of morons like Phelps skewering people's opinions of the general Christian population.[/FONT]

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[FONT="Tahoma"]My family lives in Southern Utah and because my car doesn't handle freeway speeds very well I stayed put since I have a lot of friends here. However, like Rach I ended up spending the day with[COLOR="Indigo"] Indi [/COLOR]instead of doing other things. So the only thing I did was watch the fireworks later that night. [/FONT]

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[quote name='Aceburner'][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]'S all good. Just kinda lost my head there since I'm tired of morons like Phelps skewering people's opinions of the general Christian population.[/FONT][/QUOTE]

[COLOR="DarkSlateGray"][SIZE="1"]That Phelps guy is blasphemis to Christianity, honestly if I was the Pope, I'd backhand him >_> Actually, I don't believe in the bible (well most of it) or the church, but I still have faith in Christ and god. But yeah, Phelps is just a moron who takes his view too far. I mean, I don't mind it if you think Homosexuality is wrong, but to go so far as to do stuff like that? That gives Christianity a bad look.

WHICH GIVES AMERICA A BAD LOOK TOO! I mean honeslty, be more excepting... in America >_>[/SIZE][/COLOR]

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[color=crimson]Toss Indi my regards, Rach. I hope she is fairing well and I also hope the drunk was arrested and is being dealt with.

Also Raiha, the last party who hijacked anything was the Republicans in the 80s, lol. The Democrats have increasingly, and annoyingly, aligned themselves along a more centrist tone. Obama even recently let me down by supporting faith based initiatives.

God, if only the Assyrians had crushed King Hezekiah. The nightmares that could have been avoided are innumerable.[/color]

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