masterfork

masterfork only looks like a serial killer when in reality he is covered in slime and eats infants.

masterfork was the first member to earn a custom title. The strange title read “IT TO SCARE BABIES.” This title came from a comment Adam had made when he met him in New York City. Adam made some comment that Masterfork looked so intimidating and somewhere along the line the idea came around that Masterfork ate babies on the side. Here is an actual account of their meeting, by Adam himself:

“A few days ago I decided to meet one of theOtaku’s long time fans, a kid that goes by the name “Masterfork” (you might know him from the forums). His one wish, he told me, was to talk to the famous “Adam” in person.

Well, yesterday we met like we were supposed to. We were waiting for one another in the local Software, Etc. I got there a little early and was waiting, waiting… All I knew about what he looked like was 1) he was Russian and 2) he had on an America Eagle T-shirt.

I waited a bit, then suddenly, exploding through the doorway came a hugely ripped guy that looked maybe 6-7 feet tall. He was dripping from head to toe in an oozing substance of sorts.

“Please don’t be masterfork” I kept repeating to myself. When he extended his dripping hands to me to say ‘hi’, I sighed and extended my own. “What’s with the goo?” I asked him.

He replied in a thick Russian accent “IT TO SCARE BABIES”.

I sighed again.

We then drew our attention to the local video game system (a PS2) playing some biking game. There was an 11-year old kid on a wheelchair struggling to handle its controls. “This game looks alright, how about we play it after the tike’s done?” I suggested.

Within moments, masterfork lifted the 12-year old (wheelchair and all) off of the floor and rolled him out the door. “ME WANT PLAY” he roured.

At this point the guy at the counter made us leave. I kept shaking my head.

“I need to buy some stamps” I then said. So we went off to a place that sold stamps. Unfortunately the machine ripped me off about $10 (I put in a $20 and it didn’t give me enough change back).

I went to the front desk to complain and the guard sympathized with me and was reaching into his pocket to give me a refund when…

“GIVE ADAM BACK MONEY NOW OR I BEAT YOU WITH PINKY AND EAT YOUR BABIES. HE IS FROM THEOBWAKU.COM, HE IS IMPORTANT PERSON.”

The guard then made us leave. I didn’t get my refund.

After that I suggested that we go eat. He readily agreed. “I’ll pay for your food” I offered. He happily shook his head in an excited fashion. Well…

We get to the cafeteria and I buy a small wrap with a drink and a salad. I go to pay for it when I see masterfork lumbering toward me with not one, but three trays stacked with various food items. He must have had like six meals there!

“Dude, there’s no way I can afford all that”. Like a hurt child, he gave me a little puppy dog face, put the food down, then retreated to a corner to (presumably) shed some tears.

He eventually recovered and we sat down. “Did you bring the GB Advance with your games?” I asked.

“NO, BUT I BRING THIS”. He then reached into his backpack and pulled out a portable TV and placed it right on top of the cafeteria table. He then took out a (I’m not kidding) Dreamcast system and set it up right there.

EVERYONE was staring at us.

He then took out a CD wallet filled with Russian DC bootlegs.

“Cool”, I said, “What games do you have?”

He responded, “THEY ALL ONE GAME. THEY ALL SONIC. I HAVE FIFTY COPIES OF SONIC. SONIC YUM YUM.”

He then put in the disk and sat staring at the intro movie. He didn’t play, just kept watching the intro… THIS MY FAVORITE PART! He’d yell on occasion.

I didn’t stay around, I got the hell out of there right when he started licking the scream, “SONIC YUM YUM”.

The moral of the story is, people are a lot different in person than online”

Categories: History, Members, Oldies