Writing The lost dark poems [E]

[Guest DarkAngel Blaze]

okay since my favorite animal is the bloodthirsty wolf i came up with a poem. Give your comments it could use a little ... improvement. :animeswea

Can you hear the wolf howl?
see the fire in his eyes?
As he throws forth his song
At the stars and night skies

As he mourns his lost forest
As he cries out his dream
Do you wonder perhaps
That he is not what he seems?

Have we made him so evil
to find we are wrong
do you hear the wolf's sadness
As you hear the wolf's song

Or is he merely being?
surviving-as he does
And we create him to be more
Than he ever truly was

[Goodbye, Face]

I like this poem, more specifically, I like two things about this poem:

1. It's simple and deep at the same time, makes it interesting.
2. Usually people try to hard to rhyme, but your rhymes add to the poem instead of taking away from it.

I don't see anything I would change. If you think it needs improvement, go ahead, but I wouldn't change a thing.

[Guest DarkAngel Blaze]

[QUOTE=RiflesAtRecess]I like this poem, more specifically, I like two things about this poem:

1. It's simple and deep at the same time, makes it interesting.
2. Usually people try to hard to rhyme, but your rhymes add to the poem instead of taking away from it.

I don't see anything I would change. If you think it needs improvement, go ahead, but I wouldn't change a thing.[/QUOTE]

i was worried... but now i 'm feeling better. i'll keep that in mind in the next poem that i write :catgirl: