Guest Kaizer_Boy Posted March 5, 2003 Posted March 5, 2003 Part 1 In a world of dreams and adventure, there lived 1 kid. she had the power to control the weather. One day(While practicing her psy powers) a creature(Psy-bird) came up to her. "Are you a psy?" He asked. Erika(The girl) did not answer him. Psy-bird sighed. "You mean!" He wailed. Than, he ran away from Erika. After practicing psy powers, she went home. "I'm a master of power. I belive my life" she started to sing the song healing wind. Before she got home, a tri-pio came up to here. "Are you Erika pleeka?" Asked the creature. "Yes." She answered. "Here you go." The creature handed Erika a package.Erika opened the package. And in the package was a baby Psy-bird.
Lady Asphyxia Posted March 5, 2003 Posted March 5, 2003 [color=darkred]To be honest, it's a little short. There's no actual point, and the brackets would probably be better served if, instead of using them, you explained in sentences. Try adding some description, and more of a point. It could be all right, but as it is... Sorry if I seem harsh >.<[/color]
spike speigel Posted March 9, 2003 Posted March 9, 2003 Hm, well I've got to agree with Lady Asphyxia. The stroy is kinda pointless. Maybe if you explained everything a little more, it would be better. And rude comments like that last post will get you no where.
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