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Grand Prize Diaries


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A short piece satirizing game shows. More involved sections are being written.

?You?ve solved the puzzle! You?ve won the grand prize! Tell her what she?s won, Johnny!?
?Thanks, Bill! Marie, you?ve won a weekend excursion getaway on Tiki Hawka Island! There you?ll enjoy white sand beaches and love the tropical waters. You?ll be privy to many of the island?s fabulously expensive and exclusive attractions for essentially nothing! Whoa, there, Marie, don?t hyperventilate yet. We haven?t told you about the exotic men and gigolos you?ll have the profound pleasure of having! And you don?t have to worry about your husband being jealous, because included with the tropical paradise weekend getaway is a guaranteed, 100% effective, total spousal lobotomy! Our spousal lobotomies ensure that you?ll have a fabulous time without worry of your loved one welcoming you home with a loaded shotgun! Here?s your husband now, Marie! Look at that smile, he?s so happy for you. Now, now, Marie, watch for that drool!?
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