Gaming What do ya think of my story?

[Fall]

[U]Tyden the Pokemon Master[/U]


Tydan checked to see if he had all of his six pokemon.He was a pokemon
trainer.His brown wavy hair fluttered as he ran down the path to the gym.He
could see the gym ahead of him, and he needed to get there as fast as he
could.He had a battle waiting for him.If he won, he would win himself a Boulder
Badge.

He slowly walked up to the huge entrance door.Above the door was a sign
saying Welcome to Pewter City Gym.He was shaking, but anxious to get
started.He opened the door and followed the roll of red carpet up to a battle
field.Brock was already standing in the square on one side of the field.Tydan
guessed the other side would be where he had to stand.He started walking
towards the square.

"Are you ready for battle?" said Brock.His voice echoed around the
room."Yes"said Tydan in a shaking voice."Be prepared to see the power of the
rock hard defense and attack"Brock said strongly.A siren sounded and the battle
began.

"Onix, go!"yelled Brock."Go, Seadra!"yelled Tydan."Onix, earthquake,
now!"Brock ordered.The ground jaggered and Seadra was hit."Seadra, bubble
beam!".Seadra powered out a ray of bubbles.Onix was hit, but not much
damage was done."Onix, tackle!".Onix speared a tackle at Seadra, and
hit.Seadra was now on low health."Seadra, use blizzard!".Seadra created a
blizzard and Onix was frozen."Onix, defrost, quickly!".But Onix stood there
frozen."Seadra, water gun!"Seadra hit Onix with an urge of water.Onix was now
on low health aswell."Onix, here!".Brock gave Onix a burnt berry.Onix
defrosted."Quick, Seadra, bubble beam!".Seadra shot out a ray of bubbles at
Onix.But Onix dodged the ray."Onix, rock throw!"Onix pelted a load of rocks at
Seadra and hit.Seadra fainted.

"Go, Garydos!"shouted Tydan.Brock stepped back after he saw Garydos."Quck,
Onix, use defense curl!".Onix curled up."Garydos, tackle!.Garydos tackled the
curled up Onix, and no harm was done."Onix, earthquake!".Onix started an
earthquake and Garydos was hit."Garydos, now, hyperbeam!".Garydos darted
out a flash, and Onix fainted.

"Geodude, go!"Brock yelled."Quckly, Garydos, you have to recharge!".Garydos
started recharging."Geodude, tackle!".Geodude tackled Garydos, but did little
damage."Now, Garydos, use surf!".A huge wave towered over Geodude, and
dunked him.A citical hit!Geodude fainted.

"Go, Graveler!".Brock sent out Graveler."Quick, Garydos, use thrash!".Garydos
thrashed Graveler.Another critical hit!But Graveler survived, and was on very
low health."Graveler, body slam!"Graveler body slammed Garydos, and put
Garydos on low health."Garydos, tackle, now!".Garydos tackled
Graveler.Graveler fainted.The battle was won!



__________________________________________________
Well, what do ya think?
And the story isn't finished yet.It barely isn't started yet.
If you want me to continue it, PM me or post.

[Single H]

I'm speachless. I'll give you two thumbs up and a GO sign. I'll be waiting..........

[Yoda]

That's a pretty good story, Nice one!

[Yoda]

Try my story:

Poke trainer Craig appraches a large town, a sign a few yards ahead informs him that Golden rod city approaches!
With his Arcanine and his Jolteon standing proudly next to him, he decides what to do, he is giong straight to the Gym!
His excitement of battling the Gym leader slowly fades as he searches and searches but is unable to locate the Gym! He approaches a passer by:
"Excuse me, do you know where the Golden rod Gym is?" Craig asks.
"Don't worry about the Gym leader, battle me instead! My name is Gary Oak, grand son of Proffesor Oak from Pallet Town, and I challenge you"!
"Fair enough", a grin breaks across Craig's face.
"You can smirk now, but you won't be when your rushing your pokemon to the pokemon center fearing for their lives, we shall use 3 pokemon each"! said Gary.
"Go Nidoking"!
"A Nidoking, Okay then, go Golduck"!
"Hah, just as I expected" said Gary, "Nidoking, use Thunderbolt"!
"Golduck, use Light screen", shouted Craig
Golduck is hurt but Light Screen allows hm to continue battling.
"Okay Golduck, use Ice beam" shouts Craig
Nidoking is hurt but gets back up.
"Okay Nidoking, use Body slam" says Gary.
"Use Psychic quickly Golduck" says Craig.
Golduck uses Psychic just as Nidoking hits Golduck with Bodyslam, both pokemon faint.
"Ah, not bad, now try this one for size! Go Eevee"! said Gary.
"Okay, it's your turn Jolteon" says Craig.
Jolteon steps forward.
"Thunder Wave Jolteon" shouts Craig
"Okay Eevee, use Reflect", yells Gary
Eevee uses Reflect but is still Paralysed by Thunder Wave.
"Now Jolteon use Thunder Bolt" said Craig
Thunderbolt is headed straight for Eevee, but Gary throws a Miracle Berry at Eevee and he jumps out of the way.
"Now Eevee, use Headbutt" shout's Gary.
Headbutt strikes Jolteon hard but he manages to get up!
"Jolteon use bite" shouts Craig
"Eevee use Takedown"yells Gary.
Eevee charges at Jolteon, and Jolteon bites Eevee, Eevee cries in Pain but then breaks free and hits Jolteon with Takedown. Jolteon faints, but Eevee manages to stand, but he is now on low health.
"You did well Jolteon, you deserve a good rest! Go Arcanine" says Craig
"Okay Eevee, Headbutt attack" says Gary
"Extreme speed" says Craig.
Eevee charges at Arcanine but Arcanine suddenly appears on the other side of Eevee, and Eevee falls to the floor as if he has been hit really hard. Eevee faints!
"That was a strong move, but it's time to fight fire with fire, go Arcanine", shouts Gary.
"Okay Arcanine, use Flame thrower" they both yell!
The two Flame throwers meet in the middle, and cause a huge explosion, both are injured.
"Okay Arcanine, use dig", says Gary.
"Quick Arcanine, hit it with Extreme speed before it digs" says Craig
Gary's Arcanine starts to dig but is then hit by Exteme speed, he is hurt but then gets up and digs under.
"Wait for it to come at you Arcanine, then jump"! says Craig.
Just as Gary's Arcanine is about to strike Craig's Arcanine jumps high in the air. Arcanine emerges from under ground.
"Now Arcanine, use Flame thrower", says Craig.
Craig's Arcanine hits Gary's Arcanine with a direct hit, Gary's Arcanine stumbles to his feet, but then Collapses to the floor! Craig has won the Match!

[Fall]

That's going well, a good story.but is that the whole thing, or just the start of it?

[Fall]

Righto, i see that most people here like it, so i'm going to start posting up the chapters to the story, okay?

But i'll put it in another thread, called Tydan The Pokemon Master.

I only put up that ~bit~ of the story to see if you liked it or not.

Thanks to everyone who likes it.

Please read the real start of the story at the other thread: Tydan The Pokemon Master.