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Writing Tragic (story)


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[color=silver]The room was dark and a lone figure was standing in it, the last thing he had just yelled were still echoing as the disembodied voice spoke.

"Matt why not? Just end it, it would be so painless, so simple, no thought to it."

"No!" he screamed you could see the tears streaming down his face. "No I won't... please just get away from me"

Somebody walked out of the darkness over to Matt placing a hand on his cheek. He knocked it off and pushed her away lightly.

"Please Whitley." he said, it was now obvious that he was crying "just.... please get away from me, I don't want you to see me like this..." his voice trailing off, his soft sobs loud in the silence.

"Do it Matt. Just kill your self and end your pain."

This was to much for him, he could deal with the voice, but not with this girl, he started to cry.


Matt woke up in a cold sweat with tears dry on his skin. He got ready quickly and left with out eating breakfast or saying good bye to his parents. He arrived at school just as the first bell was ringing, he headed to class thankful that he wouldn't have to face Whitley. He didn't see her until the end of the day.

"Matt" she asked wrapping her arms around his waist "why have you been avoiding me?"

"I... wasn't" he said shrugging her off

she was a little shocked but noticed it looked like he hadn't slept. "Matt you've been having nightmares again haven?t you?"

"No." he said trying to walk away

she grabbed him as she said "Matt I know you have don't try to lie to me, c'mon I'll give you a ride home since you missed your bus."

"fine" he sighed "but I don't wanna go home"

she looked over at him and saw how sad he looked "Matt, really what?s wrong?" she still hadn't started the car.

"I'll tell you but not right now, can we please go over to your house, I don't wanna talk to my parents right now."

"ok... but you are going to tell me what?s wrong"

she started the car and headed for her house, she kept looking over at him, worried about him.


She sat down next to him on the couch "Matt please tell me what?s wrong"

Matt described the nightmares and how they were getting worse and told her about the one last night. At the end she just about tackled him pulling him into a kiss

"Matt you know I love you" She kissed him again "you know I'd never want you to kill your self"[/color]


I might write more later. If any one even bothers to read this.
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ShadO MagE [/i]
[B]I might write more later. If any one even bothers to read this.[/B][/QUOTE]

You should have known that I'd read. Anyways...very descriptive and in-depth. You've captured the real human emotion in this, it's almost as if it had happened before. Having it hard to stop reading. In the way they interact with one another is true to what humans do. Like it was based off actual people around you. The fact that the man telling him in the dream to die, that'd it be painless, so simple, yet not telling him what would happen if he really was to die. The what would happen to all those people who care about him, like the character Whitley. Back in the place he left. Would probably be in a dream like his. It seems to be such a Tragic story, although it hasn't even gotten to the end. Like only sorrow is to come, yet at the same time because of the sorrow/pain and pace. It will make some want to keep reading on. It's really beginning to be a great story to me, if you do happen to post more I'll be reading.
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[color=silver] He lapsed back into calling her TIffa. he was the only one who could call her whitley and not have her get a little annoied at. She knew once he started calling her that again, he was getting depressed again, she saw it twice already, she pulled him out of it once but the other time, she was the one who rushed him to the emergency room. She cried, she loved him, but those kids, those heartless kids tore him up. Used him and threw him away, he didn't deserve it, he was nice to every one to the point where they used him. she wraped her arms around him holding him tighter not wanting him to ever leave, he was asleep and peaceful the few times where he wasn't hurting. He had stop confiding in her like he used to she knew something was going to happen but didnt know when, last time it was 6 months after the first sings he was stuborn when it came to life and death, three of his family members died with in two years of each other.

She knew he had a phycietrist appointment to day, but he wouldn't tell her any thing, he had told her that he didn't trust the psychietrist, he thought she would tell his parents, and he didn't want to burden his parents. He truely thought he was worthless and that no one cared about him when she first met him. She was starting to wonder what was bothering him now. SHe waited for him to come over.


She ansered the dor only to see him standing there looking like he had been crying. She knew he rarely cried like that, there was a difference between phsyical pain and emotinal, she wondered what the hell the psychietrist brought up to hurt him like that. She hugged him and dragged him inside saying it was alright. It hurt her to see him like he was when people used him, she hurt about half of the people who used him, because they deserved that kind of pain, but he asked her to stop. HE actuly asked her to stop hurting those who hurt him, and they went back to hurting him, it hurt her, they actuly hurt him even after he asked her not to hurt them. They had no respect for him, she was surprised he hadn't shot one of them yet.

She could hear him crying quietly on the floor, he spelt on the floor because he cried he didn't want to keep her awake. He cared about others more then himself, even those who hurt him. She thought back to the time three years ago when she thought most guys where horrible then she met him, why was it the guys who were actuly good the ones with the worst lives and they ones who were "popular" horrible? she couldnt figure it out, his life was a living hell but he never blamed the people who made fun of him. she feel asleep with tears on her cheek.[/color]
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The story seems to have hidden messeges, like morals. Yet at the same time keeping them convealed and hidden away well. the pain that comes out from the story and the feel of it is great. Getting to feel such a sense of pain from the author is always good. As in what your doing here, the reader gets to feel the same sense as the authors feeling. having the phycietrist coming in to view was a great idea. You've done a great job on having explained his kindness. And how other people just use him, only to discard him. And him still keeping that kindness, like he can't hate. It's great.
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