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Writing Crimson Eyes


Misuru Isaki
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Prologue- I:

The moon was full that night, and shone down brightly onto the pavement, making the street lamps uesless. Only a few cars came past, and if a reckless driver happened to be at the wheel, there would be the roar of an engine having to cope with the driver trying to go over the speed the car allowed.

Midnight. The perfect hour to run.

The street itself was supposed to be silent at the time, as nobody was normally up at midnight. But if you listened very hard, you would hear the light tapping of shoes against the pavement. Occasionally a shadow would appear in the moonlight, showing the figure to be much taller than it really was. A long thin object was shown in the shadow as well, suggesting the use of a sword, or a rod.

As the figure walks into the moonlight, you would see that it is a women. A long thin sword lay in her hand, unsheathed. Her features were not that visible in the shadows, as that is where she kept herself as much as possible. A long, dark red cloak brought itself into the moonlight, almost brushing the floor. Her long brown boots prevented that. Her hair shone slightly in the light as she passed through it, revealing long, dark brown and smooth hair reaching halfway down her back. Her eyes glinted, showing the strangest of her visible features: crimson eyes.

She stopped outside a large gate, leading up to a mansion. Not one of those haunted mansions you find at the top of hills, just a normal mansion. The women closed her eyes, and hovered off the ground. Black wings grew from her back, and she flew up to the roof of the house, sword still in hand...
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[color=sienna][b][i][font=comic sans ms] A nice start. I like the way you start with a industrial scene of cars going past and then contrasting it with the misterious figure. Though there are some things that are tad bit off. Like you say that all people should be sleeping, but then who is driving the cars? Well You'll see them when you revise the story [/color][/font][/b][/i]
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Prologue - II

She landed softly onto the path in front of the mansion, the moonlight now fully shining down onto her. You would then see that she wore a sleeveless red tank top, half covered from the cloak, which seemed to be made of a velvet material. Her slim legs were covered only by a skirt going to just below her knees, and that too was red in colour. Her skin was quite pale, and from her black lips, if you had looked hard enough, you would have seen two small fangs.

Her wings disappeared slowly into her back, and she walked up the the door. The dark blue paint on it was very cracked, and there was no handle. But for the creature standing by it, this wasn't a problem. She didn't try to push it, for she knew that it was locked, but walked right through it. She came into a long hall with a long flight of stairs on her right, a few doors to her left, and straight in front of her were two oak doors, which seemed to be the only good quality thing there. The creature stops in the hallway, and reaches up to flick up two silver clasps that held her cloak to her top. It rolled up, and she removed it from her, putting it down onto to the floor before walking to the two oak doors. She doesn't bother to open these either, just walks through them as if they were water.

"Ah...so you came." A deep voice came from the shadows of the large room the creature had walked into. It seemed to be a large dining room, as in the middle of it was a large table. This too seemed very well kept. There were many chairs placed around it.

"Why wouldn't I? You know I wouldn't miss a gathering such as this..." The creature smiled, the little light coming from the window bouncing off her fangs. The owner of the voice stepped out so he was partially visible, but not so he was in the moonlight. A part of his black cloak swung into view as it fell into the moonlight, but he quickly pulled it back. His skin was even paler than her's, and so showed up slightly in the dark.

"You are lucky...to be able to step into the light. This is why I have chosen you, Ebonite. Remember that. That is the only reason you are here...and leading this. The others have already taken flight. So it is not really a gathering anymore... But you know what you have to do. I expect you to do it well." His fangs showed, and red eyes showed up. "Do not fail me."
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