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Writing Satuskiyami


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I've began writing a fiction novel anime thingy.. Called Satuskiyami.. If you would be so kind as to read what I have so far, and give me comments or ideas or whatever about it.. I would appreciate it.

I have around three chapters so far..

Here's a link to it.
EDIT: New link

It's my first go at it, so it may be a bit crappy.[URL=http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1435343]http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1435343[/URL]
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