Jump to content
OtakuBoards

Writing its a new story of mine k


riku01
 Share

do u like it so far?  

2 members have voted

  1. 1. do u like it so far?

    • no
      1
    • yes
      1
    • sorta
      0


Recommended Posts

Shera sneeze she had just woken up she was on her way to the air port to go to a new school she didn't mind though. "Bless u" her mother "need a tishue?" Kye replide smirking as if was holding a hidious secret inside the tishue box. "Nope my sleve works just find thanks" "why r u being so nice to ur big sis all of a sudden Kye?" said Ashley a friend of Shera's. "WELL" said Kye dramaticly crying but everyone knew he was faking "
:bawl: the might be the last time i see shera and-" "u thought u might hide itching powder in the tissue box?...Am i right?" said her father "heh heh :blush:"

"So here we are"said Sheras father. Ashley held on to Shera as if 4 dear life "I'm going u Ash u no that right so ...u dont have to cling on to me k?" "Oh right im so sorry Shera I just dont like flying" At that moment an anncoment came on saying the plaine was about to part to Tokyo. Everyone said good-bye Shera's mother told them both the expectaitons and all of the rules "no boys no party's... and since ur mom couldn't make it Ashley that goes dubble for u" Shera's mother liked her lips and looked at her watch....she took out a package holding the cell phones she looked at them emergancey's only!...And its free on the weekends and weekday after 9" She hugged and kissed the both goodbye girls!"
If only they could turn back now...because this will be on hell of a ride :D
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's a decent start, but I'd advise you on a few things:


If it's not a joke fic or some such thing (and I can tell it's not), please don't use smileys. That, and Internet shortforms: 4, r, u, ur, and so on.

Paragraphs. If the paragraphs get too long it's hard to focus on the story. Space out the last paragraph a bit.

Spelling and grammar. If you're not good at English, then either run it through a spellchecker, or ask someone to help proofread it. Plenty of people do this even when they're good at English - it sometimes takes more than one person to catch all the mistakes.


Really, you might have got something good started here, but no one's gong to read it after a few lines as it's going now.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm 100% in agreement with what Star I Am Not said. Spelling and Grammer are really really important. I reccomend you type this up on a program with a spell checker (Microsoft Word works best for me).

Also, take your time. Get into detail. And, read it over and over again to make sure you get it just right. Sometimes it will be perfect on the first try, and other times you may have to re-write a sentance a dozen times before it's acceptible.

But, it seems like you have some good ideas, and that's the best start! :D
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...