Writing The Test of Time

[Isus]

[B]The Test of Time[/B]

A once filled soul of hope and peace
Now wishing that moment would have never ceased
Pain and torture, to thee i pray
Wishing, that you should begin to sway
Tired of living drowned in my sorrow
Waiting for the rising sun of tomorrow
Emptiness fills my now hollow soul
Once filled so lovingly, now a burned hole
Hating my life, wanting to die
More than once having to cry
Tears tell a story passed on by time
Sadly, i must confess it is mine
Living everybodys lie inside me
Rarely uttering more than a truthfull plea
Wondering, why no one can see
Wondering, why this happened to me
What did i do to deserve this
Tormented daily like a poison etched kiss
Some say all wounds will heal in time
But surely they dont understand mine
Bloodstained sorrow, now comsumes the liar
The spirit vanishing in the fire
Time erases all memory of a soul that could have been saved
If only someone for me could have prayed...

whadda ya think?:cross:

[Blastmon]

That's really good

[Guest sixthcrusifix]

OH, My God, Girlfriend I love it! ... But really on a more seriuos level it was terrible. Well, Do you believe that? HUH! Nope, neither do i. That was so cool, I loved it. That the best poem I've looked at this week. And I am sickingly vain, So that something special, cuz I have been writing poetry all week.lol, Really, The rhyme did not take from the poem, And your words seemed to fit together like a puzzle. A lot of times when writing poetry, all we worry about is the rhym and the poetry suffers, Because even in the english language, Not everything rhymes, Some how you got past that and made a Rhyming poem that makes perfect sense. I really admire it!
-Sixy

[wiccansamurai]

Eh, the ryhme were sometimes predictable. And the poem was incredibly cliche, try to set your poetry apart from the dozens of poems exactly like that one.

And, I have to say it again, AABB format makes it so boring and dead!