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The B-Team kenshin adventures!

Solar II

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These are little episodes that my brother and i put together. they are really funny, i can garantee a laugh or two!

We have already writen the prolouge, the movie, the second movie, and 12 episodes!! That's alot!!! Please feel free to post any remarks about them as i post them day by day to catch up to were we are right now.:laugh:

NOTE: I may have to post, double post, and triple post to get all of them on this thread, i hope you dont mind.:angel:
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The ?B? team Adventures Prologue
Written by Sam Poling

Hiko and Shura

(Please read this before the Movie: ?Hell?s Attack? and the normal adventure episodes.)


Kenshin, Karou, Sanosuke, Megumi and Yahiko sat in there living room in there dojo with a ton of guests that always want to spend the night over there. They include Hiko, Saito, Shura, Aoushi, Misou, and Oya. Other people visiting were old enemies they never thought would. They include Soujirou, Chou, Anji, and Katsu.
Katou: Well? *sip tea,* it looks as though my little dojo is getting bigger. Not just cause of how many of you are here, but also its size, CAUSE I HAVE TO MAKE ROOM FOR ALL OF YOU TO SLEEP!
Everyone looks ashamed when a knocking on the door sounded. Yahiko jumped up to see if it was another guest. He opened the dojo paper door to reveal a tall man wrapped thick in bandages from head to toe. He smelled like burned flesh and eyes glowed red.
Yahiko: AHHH!
Shishio: Excuse me, little boy, I come from the underworld. My Hell-made car is broken down and I need to use a phone to summon another from the depths of the world to bring me home.
Yahiko: Who the hell are you? What are you talking about? What the hell is a car? What the hell is a phone?
Shishio: Oh, yeah, sorry? you puny mortals don?t know about future technology?
Kenshin walked over behind Yahiko to see who he was talking to.
Kenshin: What the?Shishio!!
Shishio: Huh?!?! The Battosi lives here!
Kenshin: You?re dead! Stay away, I have a kid here!
Shishio looked confused and glanced at Yahiko, then back to Kenshin.
Kenshin: No, not him! That?s Yahiko, my wife apprentice. My son?s name is Kenji.
Shishio smiled.
Shishio: Boy, I?d love to catch up and all? but, quite frankly, I hate your guts. Enjoy watching me sending this entire dojo into a random worm hole!
Shishio shoved Yahiko into Kenshin and they flew back into the house. He shut the door and took out a scroll.
Shishio: I?ve been saving this spell from Hell just for you! Eenock, Mee-tay ta gray!
Suddenly the dojo vanished. Shishio laughed while walking away.

Everyone was startled in the dojo after they all saw a flash of light. They looked outside and saw a street with cars driving by on it.
Sanosuke: Damn, brother, you outta time!!
He ran outside.
Sano: DAMN!!

After a few years, the Kenshin Gumi got used to modern Japan. In that time, Hiko came to fall in love with Oya, who hated him. Shura was obsessing over Kenshin and Kenshin was married to Karou, so both Hiko and Shura were very sad (to put it as nicely as possible).
One night, both of them were drinking their sorrow away at a bar. Shura had a beer, and Hiko had a Surley Temple. Shura glanced over to him.
Shura: What is your sad ass doing here?
Hiko: I? Oya? why do I love her so?
Shura: How pathetic? you?re obsessing over a person who doesn?t like you back. You shouldn?t have been mean to her a while back?
Hiko: Hey! You? Kenshin?
Shura: Yeah, well? That?s different. I?m good enough for him. He?s just to dumb to see that. That damn Karou has, so called, ?claims? on him too?
Hiko: Uh, Shura, they?re married?
Shura: Yeah? ?Married.?
Hiko poked at a cherry in his drink, trying to get it out and into his mouth.
Hiko: You know, with this kool new technology, I have built a really good surveillance van?
Shura: !!! Can? I? Uh? use it?
Hiko: Why? To spy on Kenshin and try to find a way to make him like you?
Shura: ?maybe?
Hiko: Okay, I?ll help you. But you have to help me get Oya to like me. Deal?
Shura: ?fine? and alliance is in order? I guess I can stop trying to shoot you with my sniper rifle for a bit?
Hiko: WHAT?!
Shura: I would always miss barley? you though it was a bug or something buzzing past your ear?
Hiko: All those bees were you?re? BULLETS?!
Shura: Anyways? lets get to the van.
Hiko: Kool. We?ll be a team of Badasses!
Shura: I?ll be Bitchin?!
Hiko: I?ll be the Best!
Hiko and Shura smiled at each other.
Hiko and Shura together: We?ll be the ?B? Team!

Cheesy action 60?s music begins to play.

Hiko and Shura are swinging across vines over a pit of spikes with an angry tribe chasing them.

Hiko and Shura are jumping across roof tops, chasing a mime.

Hiko and Shura are firing guns from behind creates at a gang of mobsters.

Hiko and Shura are jumping out of a warehouse high window into the water below and the warehouse is exploding in flame.

The cheesy music stops with a big finish.

Hiko and Shura are sitting bored in the B team van.
Hiko: Okay, maybe we should stop playing ?Heroes of man kind,? and start trying to get our loves to love us.
Shura: I thought you would never ask!

The B team van pulled outside a fancy, piece of crap restaurant were Karou and Kenshin were having a beautiful, expensive, piece of crap meal. Hiko turned on a monitor and a picture came up of inside the restaurant.
Shura: Good camera work, Hiko. Now, *Shura takes out knifes,* I?ll kill Karou while you keep Kenshin busy!
Hiko: Shura! You can?t kill Karou! Put yourself in her place! She loves Kenshin as much as you do! Besides, Kenshin would be heartbroken and would never forgive you!
Shura: Err? Fine? I?ll just have to spoil their evening?

Shura is crawling in on her chest with a radio on her head. She is in plain site and people are looking at her confused.
Shura: Alright, I?m in, Hiko! Direct me from here!

Hiko is in the van, also wearing a radio head set. He is watching her from the monitor.
Hiko: Go hide under the table to your immediate right! Quick! Before someone sees you!

Shura got up, hesitating, and ran into a waiter, knocking all his dishes to the floor. She kept running and dove under a table, with a nice couple sitting at it, to her immediate left. The man looked under it at her.
Man: What the hell do you think you?re doing?
Shura: Come in, Hiko! That was a close one, I was almost spotted! Chose a better destination next time!

Hiko: Damnit, Shura, I meant your other right!

Shura: Make up your mind!
Shura got up fast, knocking the table over, ran across the room, and dove under the original table Hiko pointed out.

Hiko: Damnit, Shura, stop being stupid! You?re lucky Kenshin and Karou didn?t notice all that yet!

Shura: You stop being stupid! And stop saying Damnit, Damnit!
A waiter bent over and looked at Shura under the table.
Waiter Frank: Excuse me, miss, I?m going to have to ask you to leave.
Shura looked up at him with an evil, twisted face. The waiter slowly backed away.
Hiko: Alright, they are further in the back? maybe I suggest you go into the kitchen, to your RIGHT and spoil their food.

Shura: And just how will I know what food they ordered? Do I spoil it all back there?

Hiko: No no no! I have speakers under their table, I know what they ordered. Plus, you can just get the thing the waiter wrote their orders on.

Shura: Good, you?re smarter than I thought. And much more kind as well. Almost as smart and kind as Kenshin.

Hiko: Hey! I raised that kid! He is not smarter than me! And I don?t care if he?s nicer.

Shura: Liar, you?re just his master. Or did you raise him? Neat, then you?ll be my father in law.
Shura crawled from under the table, into the kitchen. There, she got up and through all the waiters and cooks out. One of then dialed for the police.
Shura: Okay, Hiko, what dishes was it?

Hiko: Damnit, Shura, the dishes weren?t finished yet, and you kicked all the cooks out!

Shura: Tell me what it was, *Shura looked at all the meals,* I?ll finish them. I?ve cooked before, and it?s good.

Hiko: Well, anything is better than Miss Karou?s? okay, Kenshin?s was the Escargot, and Karou?s was crab.

Shura glanced around. She saw the crab and began finishing preparing the meal.
Shura: There, exquisite! Now what the hell is Escargot?

Hiko: It?s already made. The dish to your left.

Shura looked to her right.

Hiko: No! You?re LEFT!

Shura looked to her left at a plate covered with snails.
Shura: Ahh! Kenshin?s meal is covered in snails! It?s already been sabotaged!

Hiko: Damnit, Shura, that?s what Escargot is!

Shura?s face bent in disgust. She turned to Karou meal and covered it in a ton of salt and rubbed it in. Then she put a bunch of lemon juice on the crab and in the dipping butter. She lived on the sea her whole life, and knows what makes a crab taste bad. Then she turned to Kenshin?s and decided not to touch it.
Shura: Well, I?m done. Now do I bring it to them?

Hiko: NO!! Dress up like a waiter first and cover you face somehow!

The angry manager of the restaurant ran in and began yelling at Shura in French. She looked around, and then knocked him cold. Moments later, Shura walked out of the Kitchen with a fancy suit on and a neckerchief wrapped around her face like a western bandit. She went over to Kenshin and his wife and put their meals in front of them.
Karou: Ooh, our food is here, Ken-Ken!
Kenshin: That it is, Kar-Kar, that it is!
Kenshin looked at the snails in shock.
Kenshin: SNAILS?! By I thought? Sanosuke said Escargot was delicious meat and rice!
Karou: I told you not to listen to Sano, Ken-Ken, now you have to eat it.
Kenshin pouts.
Kenshin: Oh well? at least it will taste better than anything you make?
Karou: WHAT WAS THAT?!?!
Karou reached across the table and began strangling Kenshin.
Kenshin: Oro?
Shura walked away and out the front door.
Shura: Hiko, mission objective accomplished.
She began walking to the van when three police officers, armed with staffs, surrounded her.
Officer Ben: Halt! You are under arrest for attacking a restaurant!
Shura: ?You guys really want me to beat the shit out of you?
Officer Ben: Very well, we?ll have to take you in by force.
Shura: Don?t police officers, these days, carry guns?
Officer Ben: We have guns, but we like beating on women a lot more than shooting them!
Shura: Oh, you guys are dead for thinking I?m an average puny woman.
The leader attacked, but Shura jumped over his low attack and struck him across the face. He fell to the parking lot concrete. Another attacked her from behind, swinging much higher. Shura noticed and ducked low. From there she spun kicked his feet. While the man fell, she kneed him in the back, breaking it. Shura turned to the other, but he had drawn his hand gun.
Officer Jack: Don?t move or I?ll blow your head off!! Actually, I?ll shoot your legs, just to be safe, heh heh?
Shura cringed in anger, before she noticed the B team van driving strait at them. The officer turned and fired at the wind shield, but the glass was bullet proof. Shura dove to the side while Hiko ran the officer over. He brought the van to a stop and got out the back.
Hiko: Damnit, Shura, be more careful! Now come on, you spoiled Karou?s dumb food, so let?s go!
Shura: I be more careful?!?! You nearly ran me over, you twit!
Hiko: I knew you would avoid it, anyways, that was a dumb mission, and all you do was salt Karou?s food a little!
Shura giggled a little and Hiko sighed. They both entered the van and drove off.

Karou began to eat her food.
Karou: Mmm! Kenshin! This is the best crab I?ve ever had!

The next day, Hiko, Shura, Sano, and Megumi sat in the dojo living room, drinking tea and sake.
Sano: So? you two are a crime fighting, spy team or something?
Hiko: Sort of? we are more a ?B duo? than a ?B team? though?
Shura: Kenshin doesn?t love me yet?
Megumi: Hey! I got an idea! Maybe I can join you two! I can be your? medic!
Sano: Yeah, and I can help too, with my Futei no Kiwami rock crushing ability!
Shura: Kenshin still doesn?t love me yet?
Hiko: Okay! You two can join, there is plenty room in the van!
Megumi and Sano: Kool! Thanks!
Shura: Why doesn?t Kenshin love me yet?
Hiko: Damnit, Shura, Oya doesn?t love me yet either! And you don?t see me crying about it? in public?


New ?B? team members: Sanosuke and Megumi
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The ?B? Team Adventures Movie; Hell?s Attack
(A kool, funny action-adventure Kenshin version of the Matrix Reloaded)
Please read ?B team adventures Prolog? before you do this. This is to be read before the normal ?B team adventures episodes.?


Hiko (as a cocky Neo)

Shura (as an angry Trinity)

Sanosuke ?Sano? (as a stupid Morphious)

And Megumi (as a female Link)


Shura screamed at Kenshin while he was playing with his son, Kenji. He looked up at her with a furious face.
Kenshin: Shura, you may look, fight, scream, and definitely cook better that my wife, Karou, but SHE is my soul mate, and I love her. We even had a son together! Leave me alone or you will lose my respect.
Shura: Why? how dare you? you never gave me a chance! Hiko raised you wrong!
Kenshin: My master is a good, practical person! He does nothing wrong. You lost your chance when you were born.
Shura looked shocked and hurt. Then she ran off crying.

Hiko, Sano, and Megumi sat in the van chatting. Shura suddenly entered the driver?s seat and started it up.
Hiko: Damnit, Shura, what the hell do you think you?re doing now?
Shura: I can take that idiot anymore! I?m going to go to hell, so why not do that now?
Hiko sat in a seat behind her.
Hiko: Shura? *He puts his hands on her shoulders* what the hell are you taking about? I?m in love with someone who isn?t my soul mate as well? I know how you feel. But thinking you can drive a van to hell is crazy talk.
Shura: Remember what Kenshin said when we came to this ?future world?? He said Shishio came up from hell and sent us here! If he can do that, we can go down there!
Hiko: Shura? why would you want to? And how?
Shura: Damnit, Hiko, don?t you get it? I?m not meant for this normal world? So I plan to dive this into and ocean, switch to submarine mode?
Hiko: There is a portal to the stair way to heaven and the tar street to hell in the dojo?s back yard, you know? Shishio opened it a while ago and Kenshin?s ?C? team has had a hell of a time fighting off the demons.
Shura grinned and sped the van off, into the dojo yard, and into the back. Hiko tried to pull her away, but she drove strait into the red portal. The van was suddenly driving down a black street and smashed through the black gate of Hell.
Sano: Calm down, we can just as easily leave, it?s not like we are dead or anything?
All the damned people came staggering from their ruined homes to look at the van.
Damned Bill: Wow! Look, everyone, mortals! Let?s beat them up and steal their money!
Shura flipped a switch and guns popped out the sides of the van and shot all the approaching people. They all killed over, and then disappeared. A few seconds later, they all re-appeared and ran off.
Hiko: You can?t kill them, Shura, they are all ready dead.
Shura: I can still hurt them. It worked too, they ran off!
Hiko sighed. Shishio walked over to them.
Shishio: What are you guys doing here?! I thought I killed you years ago! Didn?t you go to heaven?
Hiko: No, you just sent us in a time portal, remember? This is where we ended up.
Shishio: Oh. You lucky bastards? Well then, what brings you to my lovely home, Hades?
Hiko: Shura wants to live here or something.
Shishio: And you?
Hiko: I don?t feel comfortable leaving her side when she is the only person in the world who understands how I hurt.
Shishio looked confused and began looking up and down Hiko.
Hiko: NO! Mentally! I love someone very much, and she won?t even give me a chance. Shura loves someone the same way. So much, though, that she wanted to go down here to forget the pain.
Shishio: Oh. Well then? you?ll find this to be a reasonable place to live? You can by yourself an almost completely whole home at the city of the damned for a reasonable price. The lava springs can be found in the higher magma lands, and if you don?t like sheering agony, you can just go to the hot springs in the field of bone. Picnics are fun to have in the rotten forest of bleeding trees as well. Make yourselves at home. Just be careful on Fridays. A swarm of demons runs through town and snatches people, then makes them suffer until they die again.
Shura: I don?t need a damn house. I don?t deserve them! Come on, Hiko; let?s go to the hot springs.
Hiko: What, the ones in the magma high-lands, or the ones in the fields of bone?
Shura: Fine! We can just go to the one in the field of bone! Just because I know you?re a wuss?

The B team sat in the springs in swimming suits with flowers and hearts on them.
Sanosuke: Man, I hate Hell? They only have these kinds of water outfits, and they don?t let you go in the springs naked! Yet raping someone and killing them is perfectly fine?
Megumi: Shut up you idiot. These are cute.
Suddenly, a band of demons ran up.
Demon Teddy: B team! Hell needs your help! The mortals above want to come down here and put Hell back to the way it used to be before Shishio came in power!
Demon Emily: You have to help us, B team! I almost have enough ?good-behavior? points to take the stairway to heaven! Those mortal fu*kers will provoke me to do bad! Shit, I just lost points for saying that?

Shura: Hiko? Should we help them? I don?t care.
Hiko: Yes, but as peacefully as possible.
The B team got out and rushed to their changing rooms.

Hell generals all surrounded Sano. The B team did as well.
Sano: Okay, The mortals are digging down here! We must take action to stop them!
All the generals looked at one another, and then walked away shaking their heads.
Sano: Wha--, so you?re going to leave this entirely to us! We can help them for all you care! ERR!!
Hiko: B team, I hear mortals coming, get out of here, I?ll take care of them.
Megumi, Sano, and Shura nodded, and then ran off for the B team van. FBI agents dropped down from the red entry portal and began to swing punches at Hiko. He avoided them and punched back. The agent he attacked caught his arm right before it hit.
Hiko: Humm? Upgrades?
Agent Franklin: What the hell are you talking about? We didn?t get upgraded! We just got better at fighting! And you never fought us before, anyways!
Hiko kicks the agent, and sends him into a brick wall. Another attacks him and Hiko tosses him into another agent. The last on does a flying kick at Hiko. The B team leader evades it and shoves him into a light post. It bends in and the light bulb falls to the ground, braking in pieces.
Hiko: That was annoying?
Suddenly more came through the portal with guns in hand.
Hiko: Shit! Good thing Megumi gave me this jet pack?
Hiko pushed a button on something hidden in his cape, and goes blasting off, screaming in terror.

The rest of the B team sits in the van.
Shura: Hey, Megumi, is Hiko okay? Where is he now?
Megumi peers into a monitor.
Megumi: He?s doing his ?superman? thing.

Later, Hiko walked over to Saito who was feeding birds at a park, up on the surface.
Hiko: Shishio said I should talk to someone called the ?Oracle? if I want to save Hell.
Saito: Hell is not the one that needs saving?
Hiko: Shut up, I want to talk to the ?Oracle.? Shishio said you would know were?
Saito: That?s me. I?m the Oracle.
Hiko falls over in shock.
Saito: Stop making a fool out of yourself, get up! Now, I know exactly what you should be looking for to defeat Hell?s attack.
Hiko: But I?m helping Hell? the mortals are the ones doing wrong?
Saito: Shut up. You?ll understand soon enough. You seek the key maker. You can get him from Enishi should have him. You?ll find him at the ?Frances French restaurant.? That is all the information I can offer.
Saito stands up and begins to walk away. Suddenly all the black birds he was feeding start exploding.
Hiko: Ahh! Why are those birds blowing up in mid flight?!
Saito: I feed them Alka-Seltzer.
Just when Saito was out of sight, Shishio walked over to Hiko.
Shishio: Hello Hiko. You have done well, stopping those agents from entering Hell, but I?m afraid your time for helping me is up. Saito was correct; Hell isn?t the one that needs your help. We don?t. And before you can get back to your precious ?B team,? to tell them that Hell is really the evil one, I have to kill you.
Hiko: What?! That was all a lie? How did you convince us?
Shishio: A little whinny acting of those demons was enough. Now die!
Hiko: You idiot. If Kenshin-san was able to defeat you, then I easily can!
Shishio: Maybe one of me, but?
Shishio tears off some of his wrappings. They all land on the ground around him and a new Shishio forms from each piece. Hiko looks shocked.
Shishio: We are here because of you, Mr. Hiko, because of Purpose!
Hiko: What the hell are you talking about?
Shishio didn?t answer with anything but a punch. Hiko avoided and socked him away. Then suddenly all the Shishios begin attacking. Hiko keeps avoiding and punching and blocking and kicking the Shishios. After a while of fighting, a Shishio gets knocked back. He gets up and runs off.
Shishio clone: More?
Hiko keeps kicking ass when more and more Shishios keep coming. He starts to have trouble. Suddenly Sano shows up. He has a mini-zanbato in hand.
Sano: I thought you would be here! Looks like you need my help!
Sanosuke swings his zanbato at a Shishio clone and the end of it smashes to pieces on him. Then Sano spins the rest of it around like a staff. Some of the Shishios run at him and Sano just smashes them away. One flies into far away window and others just soar into the air by Sano?s all powerful swings.
Hiko: These clones are all clones! Not one is the original! No wonder Sano can even beat them! But we are getting a bit overrun with enemies?
Sano and Hiko continue to beat away on the Shishios, having more and more trouble with the more and more attacking Shishio clones. Soon they get pilled on.
Shishio: Resistance is futile?
Hiko and Sano build up their power and push off all the Shishios into all directions. Sano has one on his shoulders and spins him around and tosses him into the group of devils.
Hiko: Sano, lets get out of here! Grab on to me!
Sanosuke grabs onto Hiko and he boosts into the air with the jet pack he still has.

Later, the B team sits in their van discussing what to do next.
Shura: Well, Saito was right about Hell being the evil one? but should we really go see Enishi about the ?key maker??
Hiko: We have an appointment with him at that French food place that we tried to spoil Kenshin and Karou?s dinner at. I don?t see any reason not to go see him.
Shura: I do. He tried to kill Kenshin a while ago!
Hiko: So did you.
Shura: Err?

Hiko, Sano, Megumi, and Shura walk into the restaurant and sit down at a long table were Enishi and his wife sit.
Hiko: We are here for the key maker.
Enishi: Sorry, but I hate you. I won?t give you any thing. Now leave.
Shura: Why should we listen to you?!
Enishi: Because of cause and effect?
Sano: Damn. He?s got us there.
The B team got up and left. On the way out, his wife stopped them.
Enishi?s wife: If you want the Key maker, come with me.
The B team looked at each other and fallowed her into the men?s room. A man was peeing there and she yelled for him to get out. He sped out.
Enishi?s wife: I?m so fu*king sick of his shit. ?Cause and Effect? is his answer to everything! I?ll show you to the Key maker if you do me one thing.
Hiko: And what would that be?
Enishi?s wife: I want you to kiss her. *She points at Shura.* I can tell you two like each other. I want to see true love again, once Enishi likes to hang with other woman these days?
Shura: Screw that! Why doesn?t Hiko kiss this instead?
Shura begins to reach for her gun, but grabs Megumi instead.
Megumi: Let go of, Shura! I like Sano!
Sano: You? you like me?!?!
Megumi looks embarrassed.
Enishi?s wife: Okay, why don?t the chicken head and slightly chubby girl kiss instead? I just want to see a sample?
Megumi: *Pulls Shura?s gun from her holster, * How about you sample this instead?
Shura grabs her gun back.
Hiko: How about, if you show us to the key maker, we will NOT kill you.
Enishi?s wife looks afraid.
Enishi?s wife: O-Okay?

Megumi returned to the van and the rest of the team went with the woman to a room in the back of Enishi?s house. She unlocked it to reveal Soujirou. He was making many, many keys.
Sano: Soujirou! What the hell are you doing here?
Soujirou: I got captured. Are you here to save me? That Enishi fellow is forcing me to make him a key to everything so he can become a master thief!
Hiko: You are better than Enishi, right? Why didn?t you fight back?
Soujirou: I don?t like fighting anymore?
Hiko: Then you better like running? come on, we need to go before Enishi shows up!
Enishi: Too late!
They all looked over to the main room were Enishi and a whole bunch of his trained warriors stood.
Enishi: Damnit, woman! What do you think you are doing! How dare you show them to the key maker!
Enishi?s wife: They made me!
Enishi: No matter, get the key maker, my vatu-demon twins!
Two of his warriors turned transparent and floated into the floor.
Soujirou: Ahh! I?m not staying locked up!
Soujirou turned and ran. He went at an un-believable speed.
Hiko: Shura, Sano, go look after him! I?ll handle the rest of them.
Shura and Sano nodded and rushed after Soujirou.
Enishi: Handle us?! You?ll handle us?! Your predecessors had much more respect!
Enishi pointed at Hiko and all his warriors walked forward with machine guns and began firing at him. Hiko held out his cape and it caught all the bullets.
Enishi: Okay? you have some skill? KILL HIM!!
Some of the warriors ran up to him and began to do hand-to-hand and others went to grab weapons off the wall. One kicked at Hiko and Hiko grabbed his leg and tossed him. Another threw a punch and Hiko blocked it and kicked him into a statue. A man comes at him with a sword and lunges. Hiko side steps and punches him in the face. Another guy with a flail comes and rapidly swings it. Hiko leans to the left and right several times and ducks under another swing that hits and kills the guy with the sword on accident. Then Hiko kicks him away. A girl with a sword and buckler comes up flipping the sword crazy like and Hiko avoids all her attacks and shoves her in a corner. Someone else with a sword jumps from up on a balcony and Hiko blocks it with his hand. Everyone is startled. Hiko then spin kicks the guy away. A small cut is on his hand. Hiko is surprised he got cut.
Enishi: See? He?s only mortal!
A guy with a Trident, a guy with a spear, and the last guy with a sword all run at him and lunge. Hiko back flips up on top of the balcony and takes two knifes off the wall. The guy with the spear jumps up their after him and Hiko blocks a few swings, and hits him in the face a few times with the backs of the knifes. The guy falls back down and Hiko jumps down after him. The three men and Hiko then fight a lot more and Hiko beats the shit out of them. One does another powerful lunge and Hiko Jumps onto a stairway that leads up to the balcony. The girl with sword and buckler is there and attacks him fast. Using one of the knifes, he pins her sword arm to the wall by her leather coat sleeve. She then uses her buckler to block his attacks but Hiko knocks it back and kicks her stomach. She tries to block again with the shield, but Hiko pins it to the wall with his last knife and socks her face, knocking her out cold. The trident guy lunges at him from behind, and Hiko jumps back down to the bottom, landing on his hands. The sword guy swings his sword at him almost instantly after, and Hiko pushes off the floor and lands on the next stair case on the other side of the room that leads up to the same balcony. The sword and spire guys jump after him as the trident guy runs along to wall to get to him. Hiko takes a sword off the wall in time to block the sword warrior?s attacks. Hiko then jumps back to avoid an attack and the sword guy hits the legs of a statue instead, knocking it over. Hiko climbs up to the top of the balcony and the trident guy is there to lunge at him. Hiko blocks 3 lunges and swings his sword rapidly. The trident guy skillfully blocks using double hand plant staff blocks. He attempts to counter Hiko with a kick, but Hiko elbows it back then kicks him against the wall. The guy with the sword begins to engage him when the girl undoes herself from the wall. She grabs a large pole-mace and runs up the stairs. She swings a mighty attack at Hiko from behind, but Hiko ducks and she destroys a pillar. Hiko turns around and kicks her back down the stairs. The man with the spear then attacks him. Hiko grabs it and stabs his sword into his stomach while also pushing him off the balcony back down to the base level. Hiko releases his sword, grips the spire, and jumps down. The guy with the sword comes down behind him and swings down vertically. Hiko blocks with the spire and it gets snapped in half. Hiko uses the two halves of the spire to beat the guy back while the trident guy hops down. The guy with the sword and the guy with the trident attack both sides of Hiko at the same time and Hiko uses the two wooden pieces to skillfully block both their attacks at once. He then hit both of them back. The sword guy recoiled faster and slashed at Hiko madly. Hiko evaded it all easily, but then the guy with the trident lunged at him from behind. Hiko sidestepped and it stabbed into the sword guy. The girl ran over, with her heavy weapon, and swung it hard horizontally again. Hiko ducked and it smashed into the trident guys face, also killing him. She then swung vertically down at Hiko, but he blocked it with both the sticks, making and X, and pushed up hard. Her pole-mace flew out of her hands and into the air. Hiko then kicked her chest, sending her sliding on her back. Hiko dropped the tow sticks and caught the pole-mace. She looked up just in time to see Hiko bring it down on her. Enishi cringed.
Enishi: Damnit, woman, you?ll be the end of me *he whispered to himself.*
Hiko dropped the pole-mace and began walking toward Enishi.
Enishi: Mark my words boy, mark them well! I?ve survived your predecessors, and I will survive you!
With that, Enishi turned and ran out a large steal door and closed it. Hiko tried to pull it open, but it was locked.
Hiko: Damn.

While all this was going on, the rest of the B team ran out side and got in a car with the key maker. The key maker happened to have a key to use on the car, so they used it to run from the two ghost-like demons. They drove onto the free way with the twins right behind them. They both weaved in and out of traffic while one of the demons shot and assault rifle firing at their car. Shura, driving, drove well to avoid bullets. The demon?s car pulled in front of their car, and, once the twin was out of ammo, he when transparent and floated out of his car and in the back seat of Shura?s next to Soujirou. He attacked Sano from the back with a knife, and Sano used a seat belt to wrap up his knife arm and hit the demon. Shishio clones also suddenly was chasing them. They didn?t want them to use the key maker, Soujirou, to defeat their plans. They started to chase after the B team. One Shishio clone got out on top of his car and jumped from one to the next until he landed on Shura?s. Shishio tore the top off it and the twin took Shura?s gun and began firing it at the Shishio clone. It hit him and he flew off with blood flying everywhere. Sano took this time to pull out his new mini-zanbato and stab it through the car seat back at the demon. It went all transparent right before he got stabbed, and floated out of the car. It then landed in its twin?s car.
Demon twin 1: We are getting aggravated.
Demon twin 2: Yes we are?

Shura, Sano, and Soujirou?s shot up car couldn?t move much anymore, and it came to a complete stop on an overhanging leaf on the freeway. They all got out of it, wondering what to do. Sano took up his mini-zanbato.
Sano: Get Soujirou out of here, I?ll take care of the demon twins.
Shura: But?Sano?
Sano: Just do it!
Shura nodded and looked at the freeway under them. A large, long truck, carrying two levels of motorcycles began driving under them. Shura grabbed Soujirou.
Shura: Come on!
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They jumped down on top of it. They ran over to a motorcycle.
Shura: Soujirou, you make keys, right? Do you have one for a motorcycle?
Soujirou: Motorcycle? What?s a motorcycle?
Soujirou: Oh? no, I don?t think I have a key for that.
Shura growled and began to dial on a cell phone.
Shura: Megumi? Do you know how to hot wire a motorcycle?

Megumi sat miles away in the B team van. She was fallowing them on the monitors. She picked up a set of head phones.
Megumi: Yeah, this is what you do?

Sano walked mini-zanbato at side, toward the speeding car of the demon twins. The twins glanced at each other.
Demon twin 2: Just run him down, we only want the key maker back alive.
Sano did not move, no matter how close their car got. Just when he was about to be ?run down,? Sano tuck rolled to the side and stuck out his weapon. It slashed across the side of the car, causing it to flip over. Sano then spun around and tossed his mini-zanbato strait into the gas tank like a spire. It exploded in a fiery rage that consumed the twins.
Sano: Avoid that, bastards. Now I need to try to catch up with Shura and Soujirou.
Sano grabbed his zanbato that flew into his hands from the explosion, and hopped of the ledge.

Hiko looked around, confused in thinking where to go next. He decided to contact Miss Megumi. Hiko took out his cell phone.
Hiko: Megumi, where are Shura and the other two?

Megumi just got done with talking with Shura to answer Hiko.
Megumi: To the freeway southwest of you. Fallow the accidents and police cars.

Hiko: Thanks.
Hiko turned on his jet pack and blasted off.

Shura weaved in and out of traffic as fast as she could. She began to steer her bike along side a large semi when she noticed the person driving it was another Shishio clone. Shishio steered the extremely large vehicle hard toward Shura, planning to smash her into the side of the freeway, but Shura reacted quickly and hit the brakes just in time to avoid it. After that, she chose to turn around and head the other direction.

Sano road on top of another semi and saw Shura heading back toward him. He then shoved his mini-zanbato into the side of the truck and stood on it, with hands stretched out. Soujirou reached up, and as Shura drove under Sano, Soujirou caught Sano?s hand. Sano then tossed Soujirou onto the truck top. Shura drove away, passing two more Shishio clones driving cars.
Shishio clone 1: Forget her, she means nothing, we must kill that key maker or the rest of the B team will be able to stop out plans to take over the mortal world!
Shishio clone 2: I know, idiot.
The Shishio clone 1 drove up beside the semi Sano and Soujirou stood upon so Shishio clone 2 could get out and attack them. Sano was shocked to see a Shishio jump up beside him.
Sano: AHH! It?s another clone! Oh well, you guys aren?t nearly as good as the real Shishio, so I should have no problem taking care of you!
Shishio master clone 2: You fool, I?m not a normal Shishio clone, and I?m a Shishio master clone! There are only three master clones like me! We are much more powerful than the usual trash.
Sano: Oh yeah? Let me find out, then, just how much more powerful for myself!
They began to fight. The master clone clearly out matched Sano and palm striked him hard. The thug flew far and hit the truck top, face first. He got lucky he didn?t fall off. Shishio walked over to the fallen Sano, but Sano kicked up, twirled his feet, and kicked the evil clone back. Sano just hand landed upright again, when the clone kicked him hard, sending him flying again. Sano slid to the edge, and just when he thought he was going to lose, he saw his mini-zanbato still sticking out of the side of the semi. Shishio walked over to him again, and Sano spun around, slashing his weapon. Shishio barley avoided it, but got some of his wrapping sliced off. Shishio looked up, both shocked and angry. Sano made a motion with his hand that seemed to say ?bring it, loser.? Shishio ran over, and evaded all Sano?s rapid swings. While he was avoiding, Sano kicked Shishio to the ground. The thug then did a downward thrust that the clone rolled to avoid easily, and kick the weapon away from Sano, and off the truck. Then the Shishio master clone grabbed Sano and tossed him off the back of the truck.
Sano: Shhhhhiiiiittttttt??..
A car pulled forward and caught Sano, just before he hit the pavement. Sano looked in surprise at who was driving it. It was his old friend, Katsu.
Katsu: Got ya?!
Sano smiled. Katsu began to drive in front of the semi while the Shishio clone walked over to Soujirou.
Shishio master clone 1: Now that I?ve taken care of your friend, I?ll take care of you! You won?t help them stop me from taking this realm with master Shishio!
Soujirou: We do only what we are meant to do.
Shishio master clone 1: Then you are meant for one more thing, DEATH!!
Sano prepared to jump up and save Soujirou.
Sano: How did you know I was here, Katsu?
Katsu: Megumi told me you might need my help, now go kick his ass!
Sano nodded and jumped of the hood of Katsu?s car strait at the Shishio master clone that was facing Soujirou. Sano kicked him with all him power directly in the back, and the clone went flying off the truck, into the car behind it. Glass and twisted metal went everywhere. Sano landed safely next to Soujirou.
Sano: You okay?
Soujirou: Never better, Sano, never better.
Unknown to them, the semi they were riding on was being driven by a suicidal Shishio clone itself. And it was heading for another suicidal Shishio clone driving the semi that tried smashing Shura and Soujirou earlier. Sano and Soujirou looked over to see it heading right for them.
Sano: Damnit. Hiko, if you?re out there, I could really use your help right now.

Hiko fly as fast as he could with his still fairly new jet pack for the semi that Sano and Soujirou rode upon.

The two semis collided into each other. The thug and key maker were thrown into the air as the fiery explosion surrounded them. Just as they thought they were goners, Hiko flew in from out of no where and caught them both and flew strait up in the air.

Megumi stood up and cheered in excitement.
Megumi: YES!! YES?

Hiko, Shura, Megumi, Sano, Katsu, and Soujirou sat in the B-van considering their next actions.
Hiko: So, Soujirou, you say you found out Shishios plans and where his main base is was on accident, but as soon as you did, he hired Enishi to kidnap you.
Soujirou: Si, Senior.
Hiko: And in that time, one of the body guards taught you Spanish? Come on Soujirou, tell us where the real Shishio is hiding and help us open his door with your special ?key.?
Soujirou: Me gustaria tambien encantrajar me fortuna! Y un cerdo para la cine es bueno jugar para esparar.
Hiko: In Japanese, Soujirou.
Soujirou: Oh, okay. Sorry. Okay, I?ll help you get in.
Katsu: I?ll help my old stupid friend out as well, Sano needs me. By the way, Soujirou, I know Spanish and that didn?t make any sense at all.
Shura: It made sense to me?
Hiko: GUYS!! We are talking about saving the world here!

Later the next day, the B team was ready for their attack on Shishio?s hidden base in hell. If they found the ?core room? inside it and destroy the computers there, Shishio will have no chance in winning the war. Soujirou had said that in order to enter the hidden base must first destroy Hell?s power plant and grid system. Katsu went to destroy the power plant, while some mercenaries they hired went to shut down the power grid before it rerouted the power back the Shishio?s base, arming his explosive traps. Hiko, Sano, and Soujirou went strait for Shishio?s base while the others took care of their jobs. Megumi helped guide them from the B-van on the surface.
Megumi: Why are staying here with me, Shura? Why did we have to hire some idiots to shut down the power grid? Why couldn?t you?
Shura: Cause the only way I know how to shut that down is to blow the place up.
Megumi: Why didn?t you just do that then?
Shura: Katsu took all the bombs on his mission.
Megumi: Ohh?

Katsu ran down halls in the power station, tossing bombs to clear demons from his path. He finally placed all his remote mines and ran out the other side of the building. After he got far enough away, he hit a switch and the entire power station of the city of the damned blew up. Katsu grinned and ran off.

The mercenaries did a good job sneaking in the power grid station and were currently typing on computer to shut it down, when a Shishio entered the room and slaughtered them all.

Megumi: Shit, all our mercenaries are dead! As soon as Soujirou unlocks that door to Shishio?s hidden base, they are all toast!
Shura: Quick, call them!
Megumi: I?I can?t! There signal is not getting though, so neither will mine! I don?t even know where they are any more!
Megumi typed frantically on one of the B-van?s computers.
Shura: Damnit! Hiko is going to die!
Megumi: Who gives a crap about that cocky ass! Sano is the one I?m worried about!
Shura grabbed Megumi and lifted her from her chair.
Shura: Why you son of a?
Katsu through open the back of the van.
Katsu: I?m all done! What?s going on here, ladies?
Shura looked shocked and let go of Megumi.
Shura: You?re back! Do you have any bombs left?!?!
Katsu: Yeah, plenty more to blow up a whole?
Katsu didn?t get far when Shura grabbed the bombs from him and bolted out the door.

Soujirou lead Hiko and Sano down a long, white hall with green doors at all the sides, toward another green door at the far end. Just before they got to it, dozens of Shishio clones jumped out from all the side doors. Hiko and Sano got into a battle stance. A taller, buffer Shishio clone walked past all the other clones.
Shishio master clone 2: I?m the 2nd Shishio master clone! Sano, you may have killed my brother, Shishio master Clone 1, but I?m much stronger!
Hiko: Come on, Sano; let?s get these losers out of our way.
Sano cracked his knuckles.
Sano: Sounds good to me.

Shura rode one of the B team motorbikes strait into the power grid station and jumped off right before it smashed into the building. An explosion woke up the place. Several police watch demons ran out to her. They attacked, but Shura didn?t have time to play with them, she simply pushed them over. Soon she ran into the main control room and tossed the bombs onto the computer software. It all got destroyed.
Shura: There, mission complete!
Shishio master clone 3: Not so fast, little lady!
Shura spun around to see a Shishio clone.
Shura: Don?t call me a lady! I?m manlier than you are!
Shishio master clone 3: I?m the 3rd and final Shishio master clone! The most powerful Shishio clone! I doubt you are. You look kind of pretty and cute to me.
Shura: Why you son of a bitch! I don?t give a crap what I look like! I?m to kick your wrapped ass!
She rushed over to him and punched frantically at him. The clone blocked all her attacks and kicked her through the wall into the next room.
Shishio master clone 3: You see? I?m way beyond you! You best be running!

Shishio master clone 2: Arg! Ahh! You may have defeated me and the other clones, but the 3rd master clone will surely kill your female friend, Shura!
Hiko and Sano stood over the dead bodies of all the Shishio clones and Sano gave the final kick to the master clone?s forehead.
Sano: Damn, Hiko, you took that master clone out with one blow, like you did the other minions! All he did was start running at you, and you close-lined the sucker!
Hiko: Shut up, Sano. Soujirou, go open that door!
Soujirou didn?t hesitate to go unlock it. Suddenly more clones began entering the side doors again.
Hiko: You two hold off these clones, I?ll move ahead and take care of that bastard, Shishio, once and for all.
Sano and Soujirou nodded and began punching the army away. Hiko went through the door by himself and it snapped quickly behind him. Inside was a small white room with several televisions lining the walls. The real Shishio was standing at the other end of the room holding two Japanese swords. To Hiko?s right was the computers he was suppose to destroy.
Shishio: Hello, Hiko. I will kill you now, and never have to worry about the ?B team? ever again! Prepare yourself!
Shishio rushed at Hiko, slashing in frenzy. Hiko avoided all the swipes and palm striked his enemy in the jaw, sending him back. Hiko ran up and swung a mighty blow that Shishio blocked with his sword.
Shishio: Why won?t my sword cut you?!?!
Hiko: It?s not sharp enough to get past my mussels.
Shishio: WHAT?!?!
Hiko flip-kicked Shishio back against the wall.
Hiko: Now let?s see you block this. Kuzu ryu sen!
Hiko punched and swung at Shishio from nine differences at once. Shishio didn?t know what do block, or how Hiko did it, so he found himself getting hit from all sides at once. Shishio felt his endurance leave his body and slid to the tile floor.
Hiko: There, now all I have to do is destroy your computers here.
Shishio: Not so fast! You can do that, but Shura?s in trouble, and if you don?t get to her now she?ll get killed by Shishio master clone 3!
Shishio pushed a button on one of the monitors and it came on. It showed Shura running from a Shishio clone that was shooting a pistol at her. She was shooting a pistol back.
Hiko: SHURA!!
Shishio: She entered that power grid station to save you, so what will it be? Save her, or save the world?
Hiko: Uh, let?s see? both?
Hiko smashed the computer with his arm then bolted out the door he entered in.
Shishio: Damn.
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Shura got grabbed and smashed though another wall. She rolled back up on her feet just in time to see the clones elbow smash her in the face. She then flew through a window stories above the ground. Shura, while falling, shot a frenzy of bullets at the Shishio that jumped out the window after her. While they fell, they kept shooting back and fourth at each other. Finally a bullet gashed into Shura?s stomach.
Meanwhile, Hiko flew as fast as he could with his cape jet pack and saw Shura falling up ahead, about to smash into a car. He flew so fast, he pulled a trail of other cars and the like. Just before she hit, Hiko grabbed her. The Shishio master clone was surprised and smashed into the car in her place then all the cars Hiko was pulling with his speed smashed over him.

Megumi: Oh my god! He caught her!
Hiko through open the back of the van and put Shura on the center table, only after pushing off all Sano?s models.
Megumi: Holy crap! You already got here?!?!
Hiko: Megumi! Use your magical special healing techniques to save her! Now! The bullet is still in side!
Sano and Soujirou entered.
Sano: What the?Hiko! How did you beat us here?!?!
Hiko: Shut up, Sano, Shura?s hurt!
Sano: How could she be?she stayed here?what the hell is going on?!?!
Megumi shoved Sano out of her way and dug out the bullet with her bare hands quickly. Shura grabbed Hiko and pulled him close.
Shura: Hi?Hiko? te-tell her to forget about me, I don?t deserve to be saved! I failed? I couldn?t beat a stupid minion!
Hiko: She not going to let you die and either am I! I just love you too damn much.
Shura slapped him.
Shura: Damnit, Hiko, I thought you liked that Oya bitch!
Hiko: Not anymore.
Shura looked confused. She opened her mouth to say something to him, but didn?t because Megumi smacked her over the head.
Megumi: Heal! Heal! HEAL!!
Shura: Oww! What the hell, Megumi! Oh, hey! It worked! I?m? fully recovered! But?how?
Megumi: Beats me.

Later, the next day, the B team, Katsu, and Soujirou all sat in the dojo living room, drinking their tea.
Hiko: The B team would like to thank you, Katsu and Soujirou, for your aids to defeating Hell?s attack. Without your skills we would had lost! I would like to make you both new members of the B team!
Katsu: Sounds like fun.
Soujirou: I?m so exited!
Hiko looked over and saw Megumi and Sano sitting together, for the first time. What was with them lately?
Hiko: Sano, Megumi, what is with you lately?
Megumi: We, uh? we?
Sano: We got married.
Megumi: No we didn?t!
Katsu: Then what?
Megumi: We? uh? we got married a little.
Shura: Were you drunk?
Sano: If you mean ?drunk with love? then yes.
Kenshin walked in.
Kenshin: Congratulations, Sano and Megumi, you finally got married! I always knew you would! Now if only Shura and Hiko?
Shura: Zip it, moron, I?ve attached all my love to you, and don?t you forget it!
Kenshin: Then why don?t you? uh? reattach it to someone who isn?t already married?
Shura: Cause no one else ever saved me but you! And I love your kindness too. I mean, you always put things that aren?t even your business on your shoulders!
Kenshin: Uh, Shura, Hiko taught me to do that, and he saved you more than I have?
Shura looked over to where Hiko had been sitting, but he was gone.
Shura: Why, that chicken ass bastard got away!
Shura ran out of the living room after him.
Katsu: Ahh, love, so weird.


New B team members:

Katsu and Soujirou
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The ¡§B¡¨ team adventures!!

Hiko Sanosuke Shura

(AKA, Bomb guy)
Megumi Katsu

And¡K Soujirou! (AKA, Guy Smiley)

Written by Sam Poling

(Please read the B team adventures prolog, then the B team movie, Hell¡¦s attack, before you read this)

Episode #1; Shishio¡¦s attack!

Karou turned her head from her cooking to face the child.
Karou: Watch your mouth, Yahiko!
Yahiko: Sorry, I¡¦m just so excited and happy our new doorbell works!
Karou turned back to her work growling and wondering why he had to curse when the doorbell went off. It sounded like a screaming man and it scared the hell out of her. Yahiko answered the door. A tall man with wrappings covering his body and a sword at his side stood there.
Shishio: My car broke down; can I use your phone?
Yahiko: Sure.
Shishio entered and walked right by Karou into the next room. There, he picked up the phone and began to dial. Saito was sitting right next to him and looked up in surprise.
Saito: SHISHIO!! You came back from hell again?!?! Yahiko, stop letting him in!
Yahiko: THAT¡¦S SHISHIO?!?!
Karou: Ahh! Yahiko, you idiot!
Yahiko and Karou grabbed there kendo sticks. They charged at Shishio, but he drew his sword and cut there wooden ones in half.
Shishio: Fools¡K That does it, I¡¦m bringing hell here!
Shishio punches both of them cold and turns to Saito.
Saito: I¡¦ve had it with your shit, Shishio! I¡¦m getting the B team!!
Saito, being a great runner, bolted out of a window. Shishio sighs and goes back to phone.
Hiko, Shura, and Katsu sat in a part talking about their favorite colors (oddly enough). Saito rushes over.
Saito: B team! The Dojo is under siege by Shishio and his Hellish demons! I¡¦d ask the C team for help, but they are on vacation.

Kenshin, Aoshi, and Misou are sitting bored in a hotel room. Aoshi plays a crossword puzzle.
Aoshi: Do any of you know a four letter word that is a type of plant?
Kenshin: A tree?
Aoshi: Ohhh¡K¡K

Hiko stands up.
Hiko: Alright, Saito, we¡¦ll do it. Come on, guys, lets get to work!
Shura and Katsu glance at each other and nod.

Several demons all were gathered in Karou¡¦s dojo. Shishio was having a drink of blood in a wine glass.
Shishio: Ahh, this is the life!
Suddenly, Hiko and company burst through the door with their weapons at ready. Hiko with his concealable blade, Shura with her Nunchaku, and Katsu with his bombs. Shishio glanced up in surprise.
Shishio: Damnit! It¡¦s half of the B team!! Get um¡¦, Jaku, Maku, and Haku!
Three demons, armed with battle axes, approached the three heroes. Shura instantly attacks one, swinging her weapon madly. While she attacked, she leapt over the axe, swung by Maku, and slammed one down on his head.
The demon collapsed under the pressure. Hiko did his trademark Kuzu Ryu Sen and slashed Jaku up before he could even complete a swing. Haku swung vertically down at Katsu, who rolled to the left and palm striked the monster in the gut, sending him stumbling back. With the distance, Katsu then tossed a bomb and sent him to a flaming death.
Hiko: Oh, come on Shishio, is that all you had to offer for us to fight?!
Shishio: Oh, come on Hiko, I¡¦m not really even here! I¡¦m a freaking illusion! But I did wire this place with explosives!
Hiko: Shit¡X
Katsu: Get down!
Shura: Damnit¡X
All three hit the ground with their hands over their heads. For several seconds they just lay their. Shishio then began cracking up. They all got up and glared at him with deep anger.
Shishio: What? Don¡¦t look at me like that. I wasn¡¦t joking.
Hiko: Damnit!
The entire dojo erupted in fire. The three B team members crashed out the paper window and rolled into the yard.
Hiko: Shit, that clever bastard¡K wait a minute, Yahiko and Karou are still in their!
Suddenly, Sano and Soujirou came out of the flames with Yahiko and Karou in their arms.
Soujirou: No problems here. ?º
Karou wakes up.
Karou: Huh? Wha--, SANO! Let go of me!
Sanosuke drops the woman immediately. Karou scrambles to her feet.
Karou: My dojo!! DAMNIT!! You boys are fixing it!
Hiko: Why can¡¦t your husband? Kenshin will gladly¡K
Karou: You all live here too!
Hiko: ?¼
Sanosuke slowly starts backing away.
Karou: SANO! Don¡¦t you go anywhere! Unless it¡¦s getting the Tokyo fire department!

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Guest Holy Phoenix
If any of you want to know, I wrote those. Me. Sam Poling. That is my bro. He is to post the rest of them soon, and trust me, there is a lot more and they get a lot better.
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Boreing?! Its halarious!! Have you ever read a comedy? Of couse its all dialouge, but this isnt just a comedy ether, there is alot of action if you would read it. I guess now wouold be a good time to put up the next episode though so i'll go ahead and do that...Episode #2; Invincible Monk

Sanosuke lay in a hammock outside the dojo late at night. A strange looking man strolled by him holding out a sword.
Encheebre`: Shura? Shura? where are you? I?ll kill you? There you are!
The man swings at a pile of sticks and a dark figure jumps out and a land in a tree just before it gets hit. Sano picks up his mini-zonbato and gets out of his hammock.
Sanosuke: Hey, pal, who are you, what are you doing here, and why are you attacking Shura?!?!
Encheebre`: I?m called Encheebre` the invincible! I?m here to kill the one they call Shura! Stay out of this!
Sano: Hiko would be angry if I let you kill another B team member! Prepare yourself!
Suddenly, knifes fly out of the tree Shura jumped into, and they all go into Encheebre`?s chest. Encheebre` just brushes them off.
Encheebre`: Silly little girl! You know I can?t be harmed! I?m invincible! I drank the water of permanent life at the sacred Monk temple!
Shura: Damnit! Who are you? What do you want with me?!
Shura drops out of the tree and runs into the forest. Encheebre` is about to fallow, but Sano blocks his path.
Sano: You have to get through me first, puny monk! Let?s see just how invincible you really are!
They begin to clash and swing at each other. Sano is surprised the man is able to block his ?all powerful? swings. Soon, though, he stabs through Encheebre` through the chest. Encheebre` laughs and pulls it away from Sano?s shocked grasp. Then he pulls it from his own chest and lifts it to Sano?s neck.
Encheebre: You stupid fool. I warned you I was invincible! You can?t kill me! My wounds just heal over!
Sano looks at the man?s leg and sees that it is injured and not healed.
Sano: What about your left leg, there? It?s not healed from whatever wounded it!
Encheebre`: That?s because there is a sacred ?thing? that may injure me that I won?t tell you of! Shura?s mother ?got? me with it a long time ago.
Sano: So that?s why you wanna kill her?
Encheebre`: That and she has the ?item? that can kill me! Her mother gave it to her when she was a child and put it in the ?special dress.? Once I see Shura doesn?t like dressing up like a girl, she must have stashed the dress away somewhere and most likely doesn?t even know she has it. So I?ll kill her and she will never have it!
Sano: Oh?
Sanosuke turned and ran for the dojo calling for Hiko. Encheebre` tossed the mini-zonbato like a javelin and nailed Sano in the arm. Hiko came out at that time and saw it happen.
Hiko: Sano, you should really not play that rough with your friends.
Sano cringed at the pain and looked up to see Hiko holding a pretty dress.
Sano: He isn?t my friend and we aren?t playing, he?s trying to kill your wife! Is that her dress??
Hiko put the dress in his large white cape and pulled out his sword.
Hiko: You, there! Come here!
Encheebre` smiled and fled into the forest. Hiko and Sano quickly fallowed. They lost him in the deep, dark forest, but heard a sound from a bush. Hiko drew close to it and suddenly knifes flew out of it at him. The warrior caught them all with his sword. Then pulled Shura out.
Hiko: It?s me, fool!
Shura: Oh, like you couldn?t handle a little knifes?
Hiko: I was trying to find you to give you this dress I found in the attic of the dojo in a box marked ?Shura?s crap? in your handwriting? and now Sano tells me the ugly guy is trying to kill you!
Sano: Hiko, I gotta tell ya?, this ?Encheebre`? is really invincible, man! I stabbed him and he healed in an instant, like nothing happened! He said Shura had an ?item? in her mother?s dress that could kill him, that?s why he?s after her! Look in it!
Hiko dug his hand in the fabric and pulled out a green, glowing stone.
Hiko: Wow! Feel its magic power! I could sell this for a lot!
Hiko put it in his pocket and put his hand back in the dress. He pulled out a vial of purple liquid.
Hiko: This must be it!
Encheebre`: Too late, pal!!
Out of nowhere, Encheebre` jumped at Hiko, slashing his sword. Hiko blocked it without even lifting his head. Then he threw him back into a tree.
Hiko: I?m sorry, you are weak and slow. Now, in order to kill you, I need to inject this purple stuff into you, right?
Hiko poured the purple serum onto the end of his blade. Encheebre` took advantage of this time to try to get a cheap shot on Hiko again. Hiko dropped the vial and blocked the low attack. Twisting his blade, he spun Encheebre`?s into the air and lunged into Encheebre`?s heart. The monk collapsed to the forest floor, holding his chest. Then he turned to dust.
Sano: Damn. That was one real loser. Glad that?s over, though.
Hiko: He wasn?t ready to compete in my league, even after all his years of life. That?s fine, though, I don?t know anyone who can.
Sano: Oh, shut up.
Shura fell to her knees, looking emotionally disturbed.
Hiko: Shura?
Shura: I remember him? he was the one who killed my mother. My dad came too late to help her and he got away with it. My mother was a woman. Woman can?t fight. Woman are weak. They need men to protect them, but men can?t be relied on. He would have got me too, if I wasn?t hiding in the closet.
Hiko: That?s why you hate being a woman?
Shura: I had to be strong, Hiko! All my mother could do was damage his leg! I wasn?t going to be killed like that! I raised myself as a warrior! But when the time came, I still couldn?t protect myself? I was still a weak, helpless woman?
Hiko: There was one difference, though, your husband was able to protect you!
Shura: So? Hiko? You want me to be more womanly? Right? I guess I can?t fight worth shit anyways?
Sano: You got that right?
Hiko: That?s not right, Shura, you?re a good fighter! Better than most! I? I just want you to? you know? not insist on being so? manly?you would make a wonderful woman?
Shura: Like Karou? Cooking horrible and loving all over Kenshin like crazy? I can do that!
Hiko: Uh? yeah? that?s better than your angry, ?I?ll beat you up if you give me lip? self.
The three B team members walked back to the dojo.

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[QUOTE]Boreing?! Its halarious!! Have you ever read a comedy? Of couse its all dialouge, but this isnt just a comedy ether, there is alot of action if you would read it. I guess now wouold be a good time to put up the next episode though so i'll go ahead and do that...Episode #2; Invincible Monk[/QUOTE]

It wasn't all that funny. Of course I've read comedy. Look at bandit joeykuba (sp?) if you want a good example of comedy. Meh, if it wasn't borng, I wouldn't of had to [I]force[/I] myself to read it. There is [I]a lot[/I] of action? Hardly.

And I can't tell the action from the dialogue in this second part, but at least its in full sentences.

[QUOTE]Shura: I remember him? he was the one who killed my mother. My dad came too late to help her and he got away with it. My mother was a woman. Woman can?t fight. Woman are weak. They need men to protect them, but men can?t be relied on. He would have got me too, if I wasn?t hiding in the closet. [/QUOTE]

I'm not going to start on the sexism in that paragraph, for I am hoping this is part of the "humor" You tried to instill in this. But, lets look at grammar.

This would have worked.

Shura: I remember him? He was the one who killed my mother. My dad came too late to help her and he got away with it. My mother was a woman. Women can?t fight. Women are weak. They need men to protect them, but men can?t be relied on. He would have got me too, if I wasn?t hiding in the closet.

And IMO, this would have been even better. :laugh:

Shura: I remember him? He was the one who killed my father. My mom came too late to help him and he got away with it. My father was a man. Men can?t fight. Men are weak. They need women to protect them, but men can?t be relied on. He would have got me too, if I wasn?t hiding in the closet.
Sorry, j/k.
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Yeay... my bro was the one who typed these up, blame him for those grammer mistakes...

I still can't belive you don't find it funny.....
oh well, the second movie is alot better, but i have to post up to episode #12 to get to it. *sigh*. this is going to be a while.

Episode #3; Baby Hiko
Soujirou, Hiko, and Shura sat in the large dojo living room drinking green tea. Shura wore her mother?s pretty dress and had her dark blue hair down around her shoulders. She had a big grin on her beautiful face.
Soujirou: Miss Shura! I see you are happy you got in touch with your feminine side!
Shura: Hee, hee, I?m pretty!
Hiko groaned. He wasn?t used to her acting so? awkward?
Megumi: Hiko! You got a package in the mail!
She walked over to him and handing it to the B team leader. Hiko quickly opened it to reveal a small sphere. He tried to look for the return address to see who sent it, but there was no name on the box or wrappings.
Hiko: Odd?
He lifted the ball and it crumbled into dust that filled the air around him. Hiko sneezed. Then his eyes went wide.
Hiko: Oh no? what is this feeling? that must have been a virus or something? errrr-ahhh!
Suddenly, he began to shrink until he became the size of a baby. Wait? he was a baby!
Megumi: Holy crap.
Shura: Hiko?!?! You?re a baby!!
Soujirou: Oh dear? this is going to lead to trouble, I can feel it?
Shura dove to the floor baby Hiko was now crawling on and grabbed him, big closes and all. Kenshin entered the room.
Kenshin: What the-- MASTER!!
Kenshin, too, dove at Hiko and began inspecting him. Megumi, being a skilled medical person in the way of drugs, was already examining the powder. She found a small note that fell out of the ball.
Megumi: Wow? look what I found! A note!
Shura: Read it, Damnit!
Megumi: Easy, Shura, you are a lady now?
Shura: Look here, now is not the time for your shit! Read the damn note!
Baby Hiko began crying and Shura tried to calm her 8 month old husband down.
Megumi: Fine. It says, ?If you want to bring Hiko back to an adult, have the entire rest of the B team come to the warehouse at the south east corner of Tokyo!?
Kenshin: That sounds like one of Shishio?s underhanded tricks. He most likely will bring you all to one place only to kill you all at once! He most likely wired the place with explosives like he did the dojo a while back. Damn, why won?t he just stay in Hell?? How does he keep coming back up to the mortal world?!
Soujirou: I understand, Mr. Himora. I?ll go alone to check things out.
Shura: Be quick. I hate kids?
Soujirou nodes and leaves. Shura looks down to see baby Hiko playing with her hair with a cute look on his face. Shura couldn?t help but coo.

Soujirou slowly sneaked into the warehouse. He didn?t get far when suddenly the lights shot on. Shishio stood high on a mental bridge hold a vial of liquid. He was grinning but when he only saw that one had come it quickly faded.
Shishio: What? Only you came, Soujirou?!?! Damn, do you people take me that lightly? How am I suppose to be an evil arch enemy if only one come to challenge me?!?! Huh?!
Soujirou: Hand it over, Mr. Shishio! I don?t have? um? (He remembers Shura?s words) ?uh, time for your shit!
Shishio: Whoa. You have changed a lot, boy. Say, why don?t you join me again?
Soujirou: No way! Don?t try it, Mr. Shishio! I found my own truths now! I don?t believe your? uh? shit anymore!
Shishio: Fine. Be that way. Here, how about a deal? I?ll give you the cure if you can defeat my newest weapon!
Shishio jumped down and set the vial on the far side of the warehouse. Then he jumped out the window. Soujirou looked confused when suddenly the ground cracked open and a clocked woman with a robotic eye hopped out.
Demon eye wench: Hello, I?m called the Demon eye wench. I?m related to the first a member of the gun-hoe-gun in Trigun. But my demon eye has paralyzing powers!
Soujirou: ?Are we going to have to fight?
Demon eye wench: Yes.
Soujirou: Very well, here I come!
Soujirou bolted forward after tapping his shoes. He was about to slash the Demon eye wench when he froze solid.
Soujirou: Ahh? what the?
Demon eye wench: Ha! I told you I could paralyze you! Oh, I mean freeze you in time? sorry? you must have thought I would do it too late, under your speed, and your momentum would still bring your sword to kill me. Ha, silly.
The Demon eye wench took a knife out from her cloak and was about to stab the child when Shura ran into the building.
Shura: Hold it, wench!
Demon eye wench: What the--? Shishio said he would call me if only one of you were here! I told him I can?t hold two people. And I also can?t hold anyone with a strong swordsmen spirit.
Shura: Well, Shishio was wrong, summoning you then! Wait, but Soujirou has a strong swordsman spirit?
Demon eye wench: Not strong enough.
Soujirou: Oh, really? I guess that?s right. I never really liked to fight. I?m just good at it.
Shura smacked her forehead.
Demon eye wench: Hey, you, what do you think you can do to help this boy anyways? You?re just a pampered weak woman! And you have a baby behind you?
Shura was glanced behind her at Hiko, who was crawling in.
Shura: Hiko! You fallowed me! Oh well, you can watch me wallop this wench.
Demon eye wench: ?Wallop me?? Who do you think you are, weak woman?
Shura: Don?t judge me on how I appear? after all; you?re a woman as well?
Demon eye wench: Bring it, then! I?ll keep this boy frozen why I deal with you! I don?t need to use that power on you!
Shura took out her staff and charged at the wench. She jumped high over Shura?s attack and kicked the back of her head. Shura hit the floor hard. Demon eye wench then tossed her knife at Shura, who knocked it away with her staff. Just as Shura got to her feet, the wench rammed her hard into a bunch of crates. Shura almost fell to the ground again, but Demon eye picked her up by the neck.
Demon eye wench: You see? You have lost B team!
Shura took up her staff and smashed it over Wench?s head. The shock freed Soujirou. Wench fell into a pile of cardboard boxes and couldn?t stop Soujirou.
Shura: Soujirou! Use your speed to get the potion I saw Shishio put down to Hiko! NOW!
In an instant, Soujirou flashed to the vial, and then flashed to Hiko. Right before he could feed it to him, Demon eye wench froze him again.
Shura: Shit!
Demon eye wench: Got ya! That was a close one!
Shura charged at the wench again, but got knocked off her feet by an elbow attack.
Baby Hiko saw Soujirou holding a vial out to him, so, with the innocent mind of a child, he took it and put it in his mouth. He moved it around a bit and spit out the empty vial and lid.
Meanwhile, Demon eye wench took out another knife while Shura was trying to get back up.
Demon eye wench: Say goodbye, bitch!
Shura: Err?
Hiko: Not so fast!
Both Shura and Demon eye looked over in amazement at adult Hiko. Hiko was in a diaper. Then Demon eye wench began to laugh.
Demon eye wench: You can?t help your friends! You are still in a diaper and you don?t even have a weapon!
Hiko: I don?t need one.
Hiko charged at the wench and she turned and tried to freeze him with her eye. Hiko stopped short, clenched his eyes, then broke free.
Demon eye wench: Oh shit.
Hiko clocked her across the face, killing her. Soujirou felt freedom from the spell.
Shura: God, Hiko?
Hiko: Oops! Looks like somebody is better!!
He screamed at Wench?s corpse. After that he helped up Shura and the three B team members that fought today left for home. Although Hiko was quite embarrassed to be seen in a diaper.
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[QUOTE]Yeay... my bro was the one who typed these up, blame him for those grammer mistakes...[/QUOTE]

Prrof read, my dear, proof read!

[QUOTE]I still can't belive you don't find it funny.....[/QUOTE]

Don't worry about it, i'm just a skeptic of bad writing styles. I wouldn't mind if it was written like screenplay, though.
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