Writing The Witch (A poem by sage)

[Guest sixthcrusifix]

The One ...

Come to me Dark one, Come to me in the night
Swallow hard my fast plite.
Dream of dark and dreary nights.
Once so pure and full of light, No not so
Come to me, Pixies of darkness
come to me from hells very bowels
Throught the sickest of thoughts,
Taint this pure creature, With a black soul
Pure as destiny with fur like snow
Turn dim as The black doth glow
Holy horn of blinding sight
Fall to the darkness on this night
O nymphs of yesterday once more
Turn him Black, Take my heart back
Taint the trust of thyne purity
Heart of hearts

Come to me!

-Sixy

[RioLaskand]

I like the way you do the contrast and temptation of tainting the pure white with black, like "Pure as destiny with fur like snow
Turn dim as The black doth glow," It definitely is a cool imagery. The flow is there, although you might want to check spelling on a couple things. I'm not trying to be an english teacher, but if people stop to take a closer look at a word that has an ambiguous meaning, then that ruins the flow.

The concept is also a cool idea, changing someone who is completely innocent and naive to the world to a darker sort of being , the entity being society, peers, parents, whatever. You have good flow, so keep writing. This is a good poem. Hope I've been of some help. Ja ne!

[Guest TheFameof_Dying]

I have to agree the Idea of the poem Is very Nice. But think That It could have been better with some more sophistcicated words, Not that it Isn't very good, Because it is. If you ever get to see this(Cuz your banned) You should just maybe take A little more tome to check everything, Like grammer etc.(I have the some problem sometimes.)

[wiccansamurai]

Wait, sixxy is banned? Umm, I have to do it, I hafta! *Dances with joy, giving up self-restraint*

Well, anyway, poetry is not a matter of a big vocabulary. Its a matter of heart, and soul! And I'm a friggin romantic, can't you tell?

[Guest TheFameof_Dying]

By the way, Just to let you know I don't think that there are 2 x's in sixy, And Poetry Is about whatever you want it to be about. I think that this poem caould be about an angel that the devil was making evil. Or somone doing something to a unicorn or pegasus in a mythilogical relm of the imagination. Thats what I got from the picture, And how are you romantic? I don't understand what you mean by that. You seem pretty mean Dancing for joy when people who I know get banned. Anyway. The point is that this is a good poem, But it can't get any better because it can't be edited, I'd say there is no reason for any more post on this thread, Its not like the poster of the thread can even see it unless they just visit the site, And even then, What could he do about the replys?

[wiccansamurai]

Yeah, but you can see it ^.^

All I was saying that fancy words can't make up if it was a crappy poem. I think this poem was one of sixxy's better ones, all I was saying was I disagree with you about how it could use more "sophisticated" words.

Romantic= 2 : having no basis in fact : IMAGINARY
3 : impractical in conception or plan : VISIONARY
4 a : marked by the imaginative or emotional appeal of what is heroic, adventurous, remote, mysterious, or idealized

I knew sixxy a bit too. What I knew, I didn't like all that much.

[Guest TheFameof_Dying]

Are you saying that it's a crappy poem????? I pitched this Idea to sixy! I love the pem, Sixy uses Innocence to mask the fact that despite the poems obvious secret meanings, Itsreally just about a unicorn. Well, That's my critcique.