Writing My work in progress( i guess its a poem)

[EternallyYoung]

Here is my new "thing"

What is the piont of living forever when forever may not last?
What is the point of forgetting when you still have a past?
What is the reason for knowing what happened when that wont stop it from happening again?
Rae Atkinson

[Lady Asphyxia]

[size=1]Well, it seems a bit short. You could probably flesh it out more. However, good use of rhyme and rhythm.

I think perhaps you should break the sentences into lines. Instead of [i]What is the point of living forever when forever may not last?[/i], perhaps you should use something like,

[i]What is the point of living forever
When forever may not last?[/i]

Anyway, that's my say. I'd like to see the finished product.[/size]

[EternallyYoung]

thanx! ill look into that! like i said its only a work in progress!