Writing The Tragedy of an AP Student

[Megumi]

I've decided to post a few of my poems here, and what better way to start than with my only comical piece I've written so far? Kind of disturbing, with all it's metaphoric gore. Written about the same time as midterms last year, but still one of my favs. Someday I'll find a way to make it rhyme...


[U]The Tragedy of an AP Student[/U]

My head is going to explode
It's a ticking time bomb
Running out of ticks
Another essay
Just one more project
Is all that it will take
Like a balloon
Filled with too much air
It will be there
Then *pop*
It's gone

Precalculus equations splattered on the wall
History facts pooling at my feet
Biology concepts dripping from the crater
That was once my neck
A gory mess of education
Will be all that is left

They'll look at my smoking corpse
Shake their heads in sympathy
"Such a bright girl," they'll say
"It's a pity she took AP courses"
When my head explodes.

[Flashlight]

Stress! Kills me to...

I liked the poem, very good ideas, but it didn't quite flow right. Don't worry about making it rhyme, just as long as it sounds ok. Avoid using words twice (ticking, ticks).
I liked the line, "It's a ticking time bomb". Sounded nice.
I think the poem had just one too many lines. It really would have sounded better if you had just cut that last line, though I can see you where just trying to relay the idea from the beggining again.

Overall, very nice, very fun. Keep at it! :)

[Guest ScirosDarkblade]

Brings back the good old days. AP English, AP Gov't, Calculus BC, AP Comp. Sci, AP Spanish, AP Physics. In one year. College is so much better.

Really, although it's a lot of hard work, it's worth it. It was worth it for me, because I came into OSU with 70 credit hours just from AP exams, and that's the only reason I'm getting out in 4 years. Most people don't finish Engineering in under 5 years here.

Edit: forgot this was the "literature" forum

Hmm, your poem is alright, but it could use some work with consistency as far as verb tenses go. That would really help the flow. For example, referring to your head going "pop" I'd write:

It's streched... but there
Then pop!
It's gone

You have to slow down to say "stretched" right after "It's" so that will add to the feeling you want out of that line. "Then pop!" will speed it back up. Notice also that I preserved present tense, helping the flow.