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Writing Sephiroth trying to be good in awkard situations


Prince Van
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Wow long title, well this is a scene from Final Fantasy ten excpet instead of Tidus it's Sephiroth and he's trying to be good.

It's the part after Yuna summoned Valefor for the first time.

Sephiroth slowly approaches Yuna...
Old women:Stay away from the summoner.
Sephiroth walks away

about 30 minutes later.....

Sephiroth slowly approaches Yuna...
Old women:Stay away from the summoner.
Sephiroth walks away

about 30 minutes later...

Sephiroth slowly approaches Yuna...
Old women:Stay away from the summoner.
This time Sephiroth waits for her to turn her back and then draws his Masamune...
Everyone dives on Sephiroth.

Wakka: Don't do it, ya know.
Kimarhi:Kimarhi bash skull.

Kimarhi and Wakka manage to keep him pinned until....

Sephiroth uses meteor, big explosion and Besaid island is no more...

Very simple short story, please rate and I will except all criticism.

More to come....
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[COLOR=SlateGray][SIZE=1][FONT=century gothic]Funny.

Just it looks like it's written by a 2nd grader. And actually do some thinking.

First of all, CHANGE THE TITLE IF HE'S NOT GOING TO BE GOOD -_-.

Meteor would also kill Sephiroth since he didn't "complete his mission". He doesn't have the black materia and yada yada yada.

*insert monotone voice* Ha ha ha, I killed your story. Ha ha ha.[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
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Alright, as I assume you are fairly young, I will give you the benefit of the doubt. Congrats on writing something and posting it for the whole world to see... I'm always glad to see someone doing creative writing in their spare time.

That said, here's some hints to make better stories in the future:

Describe the scene. What does the area the exchange take place in look like?

Engage the senses.

Perhaps give some of the characters thoughts, and some of their emotions.

Describe any unusual events. 'A meteor hit him' would be fine for a humor piece, but for a serious piece, describe it more. Make it dramatic.

Try to create a mood/atmosphere.

Hope that helps you a little when you go to write your next story. Also, the best way to learn how to write is to read. Read some fantasy novels (or some other type of novel that interests you), and you will become a better writer. :cool:
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Nah I'm twelve years old but it was late so I had to write it quick and the title is okay because he's trying to be good but is struggling.

Anyway I thought I wouldn't need to decribe the scene cause most people would know it but I'm gonna post some more and I'll do all you said in those.

I was actually expecting people would say it was rubbish so I'm not bothered.
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