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Writing With Love, Matt


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[size=1][color=green]This is a poem I wrote out of pure emotion... no, I wasn't thinking of suicide, but I didn't really want to live. Make any sense? [/color][/size]
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[u][size=1][color=green]With Love, Matt[/color][/size][/u]
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[size=1][color=green]He often thought of it; always sad[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]He wanted to be different; it made him mad[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]Slightly imperfect; in constant sorrow[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]After tonight, there's no tomorrow[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]Sitting at his desk, writting the letter[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]Explaining to his parents how it will be better[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]'My dad, my mom, [/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]When you read this, I will be gone[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]But don't you cry, no, please[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]It will be better if I leave[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]I was a burden; hard to be around[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]Now at twelve; the clock sounds[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]And I will go on to a better place[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]Never again wasting your space[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]With Love, Matt' he signed[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]Folding it up; clearing his mind[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]And he stood up; looked around once more[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]Taking a deep breath; heading towards the door[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]Out in the hallway; it was like death row[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]But with no guards; he's his only foe[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]Into his parents' room; where he used to have fun[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]With girls from the street; now he reached for the gun[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]One more glance; one more sigh[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]One shot to the head and his soul did fly[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]Two hours later; his parents arrived[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]To find their eldest son had apparently died[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]The police asked them question after question[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]About their son whose life had to end[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]Was he bad? Or did he do drugs?[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]No, they answered, not that they knew of[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]And then they found the letter; the last written words of his life[/color][/size]
[size=1][color=green]But a burden wasn't lifted; all he caused was strife.[/color][/size]
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[font=Book Antiqua][color=blue]Whoa, a depressing poem that has an actual moral and not a whiney complaint as the theme! Haha, you don't find these too often around here.[/color][/font]

[font=Book Antiqua][color=#0000ff]First off, I [i]love[/i] the rhyming: that was very smooth. Although most teachers say otherwise, rhyming is a [i]huge[/i] plus in poems: it helps the reader get the hang of the pacing and it makes your poem flow better and more memorable. While it was clear you made some "stretches" at some points to make it rhyme, it didn't hurt the poem at all. In fact, it makes it sound more professional. The "drugs/of" and "row/foe" rhymes were my particular favorites.[/color][/font]

[font=Book Antiqua][color=#0000ff]Your grasp of the english language is amazing: you don't abuse the writer's "literary freedom" at all. Sticking with the "legal" form, you make it work, and it rewards you tenfold. [/color][/font][font=Book Antiqua][color=#0000ff]Another question comes to mind: where did you learn such proper grammatical tricks?[/color][/font]
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[quote name='AzureWolf][font=Book Antiqua][color=#0000ff] [/color][/font][font=Book Antiqua][color=#0000ff]Another question comes to mind: where did you learn such proper grammatical tricks?[/color'][/font][/quote]
I dunno. I guess it comes naturally? I've had normal english classes, and the teachers were so-so. I might've taught myself by reading a lot, but I've never really read a lot of poetry.

Thanks for your compliments.
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