Writing dead inside [E]

[vegeta rocker]

i let myself believe
there was a reason
you make me bleed

talked myself into
staying all the
way through

but you know
you know what you
did
and you know
i was just a kid

tried so hard to forget
but my heart just won't let
me pretend i'm okay
it dies a bit everyday

make me believe in
things good for me
make me believe in
things i've never seen

so many times i held you
i cried so much inside
but none of that mattered
just as long as you were mine

who am i
i've never seen straight
who am i
i'm hollow past this face


criticism please

[Princess_Keiko]

Why do you want criticism? I think what you wrote was really cool,and the title fits it very well.
Awesome job.

[vegeta rocker]

i don't think any poem is without flaws. I think any views or opinions would be very helpful, and would be greatly appreciated.