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Writing Salinger-esque for school [PG13 - L]

Roxie Faye

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[color=#9933ff]I had to do some writing assignment for school. We're reading "The Catcher In the Rye" right now, and because of the way Salinger writes, she wanted us to do some weird assignment writing like him.

We could either write a story about Holden told as Holden, or write a story about ourselves and use Salinger's language (made up story or real). Well, I didn't follow directions and I made up my own people and used Saligner's language. Of course, for all of you this is a made up story about me, but no one knows that my name is Roxanne, IRL. ^_~

We're only up to reading chapter four, or so, and with Stradlater and Ackley fresh in my mind, I meet up with Gavin (Dragon Warrior) in this story. I chose him specifically so I could use "Sexy Bastard" in my story. But I loves you Gavin!!! *huggles lots* And if you read this, I'm getting around to reading Wickersleeves - I've been real busy lately. Sorry! *__* (But tomorrow is Friday - I'll be able to read it then! ^_^)

Anyway, read, critique, throw my own eggs at me, or whatever you may. Here's the goddamn writing assignment:

Let me tell you about the time I went into the grocery store for a carton of eggs. A goddamn carton of eggs, for Chrissake! I had to make a cake, and all. It was for some fundraiser-type crap at school that they make you do so that they can raise money for all the students in your class. That way when important stuff, you know, like prom comes around and all, you don?t have to pay as much. It never made sense to me, because the kids buying the cake and crap were in your grade and all. It was like you were paying for your own ticket.

But anyway, I had just picked up the cake mix and all, but when I got home, I realized I forgot the eggs. So I had to go back to the crappy grocery store to buy the eggs. All I wanted were the goddamn eggs, but as I turned down the refrigerated aisle I ran into that damn Gavin kid. He was one of those kids who were nice to you and all, but they always thought they were so cool and all, too. All the stupid girls at school with no brains always came up to talk to him at school and all, giggling like buffoons. Even worse, Gavin not only thinks he?s cool, but he knows he?s cool and all that crap, and he enjoys the attention. Sexy bastard. Like I said, he?s nice and all, but really annoying, too.

I pretended not to see him. You know, sometimes you can avoid people you don?t want to see and all, by just pretending they weren?t there. But he was right in front of me and all, especially right next to the eggs and crap, so I couldn?t pretend to not see him.

?Hey Roxanne. What are you doing here?? he said with a damn carton of milk in one of his hands. I felt like telling him ?Well gee, I?m at the grocery store right next to the damn eggs. Why the hell do you think I?m here?? But I couldn?t just say that and all.

?Eggs,? was the single word I said. Pretty awful of me. Usually I can say lots of magnificent things and all, and I?m real good at giving speeches too, but whenever I get in an awkward situation, I clam up. It?s terrible.

?Why do you need eggs?? Gavin asked, shifting the crumby carton of milk to his other hand. I felt like telling him it was none of his business, but that wouldn?t have been very nice, either.

?I?m making a cake.? But I knew he was going to ask what the cake was for and all, so I added, ?It?s for a school fund-raiser.?

Gavin ruffled his hair before replying. It made him look cool and all, and he knew it - that?s why he did it. Sexy bastard. ?I?ll be sure to buy some of your cake to support your class. I can afford to eat a whole cake if I wanted to. After all, I am on the track team - I can burn it off easily.? It was things like that that really bugged me. Not only did that crappy Gavin kid do things to say that he was cool, but he said things to rub it in your face, too. Bastard.

?Well, thanks, Gavin.?

I was going to say more, and all, but you know, because I clam up sometimes, there was a pause. That?s when he said ?No problem. Glad to help.? Conceited stuff like that made me want to scream, but I smiled anyway. I waved to him and all, and then I paid for the crumby eggs that caused me so much trouble and left the crappy grocery store. All I wanted was a carton of goddamn eggs and I had to run into that damn Gavin kid.[/color]
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[color=darkslateblue] From what I remember while reading J.D. Salinger, he did not use the same phrases that often in a short amount of space. I could be wrong...but I read a lot of "and all"'s in there. Holden uses some phrases a lot in the book...but I don't really remember him using so much of the same thing. The way I've always though of Holden's language is that he just uses regular English (not so many catchphrases) from a very cynical/sarcastic viewpoint, and then threw in something funny. I could definately feel the whole 'the world sucks' thing, but not so much the sarcasm that's in Catcher in the Rye.

But nonetheless I think you'll get a good grade. :) Excuse my nit-pickyness...I just really love Catcher in the Rye. It was fun to read. [/color]
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[SIZE=1]In general, I agree with Lunox, but I also feel you're trying too hard.

The expressions Salinger uses are forced -- I can just ... feel it in the sentences. Compacting the use of Holden's trademark phrases makes it seem too condensed, and gives the whole "I'm trying too hard" feel.

Again, like Lunox, I guess I'm being a stickler or something. Forgive me for that.[/SIZE]
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