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Writing The six elements that make us live -inuyasha[pg 13]


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This is a story that I wrote about a character that I made up.She is Narakus sister and yet she denies that he is evil compleatly.here is a summery before I post any more. Kouru is a demon with a un-nerving past.Her brother is the one that messes people up and she just happens to belive he is still good at heart.But what she doesn't know is that he will always be what he is...evil.
As Kouru journeys to keep her brother in tack,five young warriors come and help her.They are the elements that help her survive.As they journey with her,they stumble on Inuyasha and gang.Will they accept that what her brother does is the outside layer to cover the good or will Kouru have to deal with the fact that he is just evil?While she confront her brother,she finds she is the last element and the key to destroying him...

Chapter 1:Till then...

Kouru opened her eyes and looks around,not sure of any thing.The rain slightly pitters on the roof and make dropping noises on the water puddles.She grabs her rod which has a blue tint to it.The blade was shaped oddly like a lighting bolt...

She sniffed the air and ran to the door.He was coming,her brother.The one who "Used" to take care of her.The one who "Used" to make sure she was all right.But that all changed when he sacrificed his soul to the demons of darkness.

She pulled her black hair behind her ears and let her bright red eyes skim the land.He was there all right,waiting for the moment to destroy this village he grew up in.The village in which he took care of her...The village people who took care of them when times were rough and there parents dies of that horriable disease...

He was walking now,towards the entrance of the village.He had many demons behind him but the two that stood out the most were two girls,flying on a feather...

Chapter 2

Kouru burst out of the door and grabed the drum sitting beside the door.Water ran off the top and she began to hit it.

"Out of your houses!Out of your houses!"She screamed as heads poked through the windows and curtains.She continued running and soon, people all ran out of the houses,running through the rain."Get to a safe spot!Don't come out!Actually,head to the neartest village that will protect you!"

More people began to flee their houses and headed towards the hills.They began to scream and grab their children.They began to ride horse back and taking foot.

Kouru headed to the gates and she stopped and droped the drum."Why are you here,Naraku?"She said growling.

Naraku began to laugh."What?You're not happy to see me?"

"No,why would I?"

"Well,we are related,after all.I thought you'd like me stopping by to say hello."

"We may be related but,knowing you,you wouldn't stop by to even say hello."

Naraku got a surprised expression."But sister,I really did want to say hello.Oh and,met Kagura and Kanna.Your sort of neices."

"Hello,Kouru.Your brother has told us so much about you."The one with crimsion eyes said smiling slightly.The one with white hair just stood there.

Kouru frowned and growled."I gues you made more incarnations of you haven't you?"

"You could say that."Naraku said as he walked towards her.He placed his hand on her cheek and smiled."My human side may be gone but I truly do care for you.After all,you are the one who nows everything about me.Even my weakness.You could kill me if you wanted but you won't,will you?"

Kouru growled and began to think very hard about that."I don't know."

"So,are you saying you would kill me?"Naraku said as he took his hand down and began to frown.

"No,I would never do that!I still think you have good in you and I want to help you!But every time I do,you go and kill inosent humans.And know you want to kill the village you grew up in?"

"It's a fact of life...deal with it."Naraku said as he pulled his sister close."I would never hurt you but I could,just like you can do to me."

Kouru felt hot tears sting her eyes.She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him."Promise you won't hurt this village?"

Naraku let go and stepped back.He hung his head."I will do as you wish."Naraku turned his back and walked to the edge of the village.He waved his hand and all the demons dissappeared along with him and kagura and kanna.

Post more later...
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The story is decent enough, but there is one radical setting glitch:
As you know, Naraku was born a human, albiet an evil one. It is only because he gave himself up to the demons that he gained his Half-demon status. So, you say that Kouru is his sister. If she is truely his sister, then she should be 100% HUMAN. And 50+ years, to boot. Yet you say that she is demon.
I can only think of one remedy for the situation. Say instead that Kouru is Naraku's half sister, and that one of his human parents had a child with a demon. Then, she'd be half demon like him. If you go on without heeding my advice, that's your choice, but then your fan-fic will lack authenticity.
Other than that, no complaints.
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See...before this story,I created another story from the beginging.In the begining, Onigumo and his sister Kouru lived in a village that really wanted them both dead.So as Kouru's coming back from the forest,the villagers really think that she stole a princess.Onigumo loved his sister with no doubts but he truly wanted to kill the villagers decpite her plees.And when the villagers capture him and he couldn't protect her,they burned him.(I put something in to explain the burns.)Kikyou came along and rescued him.While taking care of him,he sold his soul.And then it goes on from there.Kouru saw her brother as a half demon and he said some preety nasty things to her which made her cry.So,she locked herself in to never come out.Only later on,does she realize that the only way to destroy him is to beat him at his own game.So she too sold her soul to the 'good' demons.(I think there are some.)I'll try to get that one on so there will be no confusion.
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