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Writing The Fallen


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[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"]This is my very first fanfiction, yay! It’s a Suikoden III fanfic, I’ve only read the manga for Suikoden III so I don’t really know anything about the game. Amournia is my own character and all the others are from Suikoden III. It’s very long, but it’s complete and no other parts will be added. Story takes place towards the end of the 7th volume of the manga and ends near the middle of the 9th volume. It's unfortunate that there aren't many Suikoden fans around here that can giv me some constructive criticism, but any kind of criticism is welcome. :catgirl:
Disclaimer: I don’t own Suikoden or any of its characters blah blah blah…[/COLOR]

[COLOR="Purple"][U][SIZE="3"][CENTER]The Fallen[/CENTER][/SIZE][/U]

It was sunrise at the Harmonian army’s encampment when the captain of the Harmonian sorcerors was awoken by a girl who had light blue eyes, short, blonde hair, and possessed a magical staff. “Who the hell are you? You’d better have a high rank in this army or I’ll see to it that you’ll leave this tent in tears,” the angered and barely awake captain snarled. “My name is Sarah. I’m Lord Luc’s personal sorceress,” she said in a tiny mouse-like voice.

“What do you want?” The captain asked in the most respectful manner she knew, but still sleepily. Captain Amournia was sitting upright on her cot in a red, silk nightgown with her blonde hair hanging loose halfway down her back in a sleep-tousled mess. “I’m here to inform you that Lord Sasarai was relieved of his position as bishop. Now, you are to follow the orders of [I]Lord Luc[/I]. He wants you to prepare the sorcerors for the battle at the Grasslands’ Sky Cavern. That is all. Goodbye, captain,” Sarah said before leaving the other sorceress’ tent.

In a worse mood than she usually was in, Amournia snatched up her hairbrush to get herself ready to train the sorcerors. Captain Amournia never cared about what went on around her in the Harmonian army, so the fact that Lord Sasarai was mysteriously replaced with Lord Luc never bothered her. As she brushed through her knotted hair she assumed that Sarah already knew that the captain didn’t care about who her commander was.

Captain Amournia was putting on her Harmonian uniform that was coloured red instead of blue like the other uniforms. She wanted her uniform to be red because she though she deserved a different uniform from her subordinates. The last thing Amournia did, before leaving her tent to wake the rest of the sorcerors, was attach a small dagger to her belt where it could be concealed by the red uniform.

Amournia always wore the dagger in case she’d be attacked and she’d use it even against the other members of the Harmonian army, if she had to. The captain was known for being cruel, demanding, judgemental, and was capable of making enemies anywhere.

She left her tent, which was larger than most of the other tents in the encampment. Captain Amournia’s and the sorcerors’ tents were located on the outskirts of the encampment, making it ideal for their kind of training. The only other tents larger than hers were the tents for large masses of soldiers and Lord Luc’s. While working for the Harmonian army Amournia was accustomed to always getting her way; meaning that she’d get better standards than the other soldiers.

“WAKE UP, YOU LAZY BASTARDS!!!” Was captain Amournia’s shrill wake up call to her sorcerors that morning. The sorcerors were used to the captain’s random timing for training sessions, so all of them slept in their uniforms. They combed their hair quickly and grabbed their staves to rush out of their individual tents and stand at attention for their captain.

All the sorcerors were standing before captain Amournia except for Charles. Charles was the most unfortunate sorceror under captain Amournia’s command. He had short, spiky, blonde hair that was usually a mess and had deep green eyes. The unlucky sorceror was shrugging his blue uniform jacket on as he stumbled out of his tent.

Charles’ misfortune became Amournia’s glee while she made her way towards him down the line of sorcerors. She rested her head on Charles’ shoulder to breathe down his neck, then moved her lips up to his ear. “Charles… I thought I ordered you to [I]WAKE UP!” [/I]Captain Amournia had started saying sweetly and finished in a shriek next to Charles’ ear. As Charles cringed from Amournia’s assault on his ear the sorceress decided to punch him hard in the gut, causing him to let out a small grunt. Nobody of a lower rank in the Harmonian army would dare to hit Amournia back, especially her sorcerors that knew the consequences.

The sorcerors weren’t known for having a lot of physical strength and courage, but they made up for it with their magic. The captain always assumed that the sorcerors’ skills were built from her own and the difficult tasks she made them do in previous training sessions. If the Harmonian sorcerors did anything well with their magic, Amournia would praise herself for being their captain.

After the sorceress finished with Charles the sorcerors began their training in the early morning light. “None of you are gonna eat today until you do something right during your training,” captain Amournia sung after watching Charles mess up a spell he was casting. Charles looked disappointed as he continued to train, knowing he might have to miss another meal.

The majority of the sorcerors were doing what a normal soldier would consider fine, but “fine” was never enough for their captain. Captain Amournia stood by and watched the group of sorcerors cast many successful spells that would prove useful in battle, but she had already decided she’d make them train for a few hours before permitting them to eat breakfast anyways.

They trained for hours and the world around them had been changed drastically since they started. Now, there were several scorched pieces of landscape that had been used as targets for long-range fire spells and uprooted plants that had been victims to powerful wind spells. Many of the sorcerors had been able to continue successfully casting spells throughout the course of the two hours. However, Charles had attempted conjuring a fire spell at an already uprooted shrub, but missed it by a few feet to the left.

Watching Charles’ little fireball whiz by the shrubbery Amournia asked, “do I need to get my staff out here to show you pathetic people how to cast a simple spell?” “Lieutenant, watch these morons so I can get my staff. And make sure they don’t stop their training,” captain Amournia said when she left to retrieve her own staff as an excuse to move around a little and grab a snack for herself.

Lieutenant Ludo was the most loyal sorceror to the captain. He was also very skilled in his sorcery; during the training he hadn’t made a single mistake. Ludo had short blonde hair that was neatly combed back except for a few strands that hung near the centre of his forehead. Compared to the other sorcerors in the army he was more muscular and could be passed off as an ordinary soldier, if he was wearing the armor.

The lieutenant of the Harmonian sorcerors kept a keen eye on them until Amournia came walking back towards them with her staff and a piece of bread. Finishing the last of her bread and standing next to Charles, Amournia brought up her staff that was like all the other long staves the sorcerors possessed. The staff had a small, light blue, glass orb at the end that she held pointed at the sky. She moved the little blue orb around in search of a target she could use for the same fire spell Charles had attempted.

Finding no target she considered worthy of her spell on land, Amournia aimed into the overcast sky at a small bird flying by. In a second the little bird hit the ground with a small thump in front of Charles and the captain. The rest of the sorcerors watched Amournia as she stared at the bird’s remains and bits of fire beginning to die around them with delight.

It was only one hour after the bird had died that the sorcerors’ training ended and they were allowed to have their breakfast. Captain Amournia went to get another piece of bread and some fruits, but finished them quickly so she could return her staff to her tent. On her way to the tent she noticed several of the other soldiers seemed to be preparing for a battle. The captain hadn’t been informed of a battle and went to question her new commander about his reasoning behind excluding the sorcerors from this battle, even though they proved so helpful in Harmonia’s last battle against the Grasslanders.

Se made her way to Lord Luc’s large tent, located near the centre of the encampment, while noticing more and more soldiers preparing for battle. In Holy Harmonia’s last battle the sorcerors were used to change the direction of the wind to disable the Grasslanders from using their bug paralyzing smoke, which enabled the Harmonians to use the Lebuque bug troops. So Amournia couldn’t help wondering why they wouldn’t let her enjoy the new battle’s carnage, when the sorceress earned the right to by aiding in the conquest of the Chisha clan lands in the last battle.

When captain Amournia came through Lord Luc’s tent flap she did not see the new commander sitting at the table covered in a variety of maps and battle plans, instead it was Harmonia’s war strategist. Albert Silverberg was well acquainted with the captain of the sorcerors, since he had been working with Lord Sasarai before. Amournia didn’t like Albert because he could never keep up a good conversation and seemed quite full of himself, treating the captain like someone of less intelligence than himself.

“Oh great, if it isn’t Albert Silverberg the world’s biggest smart ass. Maybe you’ll have some answers for me,” Amournia said sarcastically as she approached the table. The tactician looked up slowly from his work to ask, “what answers do I owe you, captain?” “I’d like to know why there are soldiers sharpening their blades and cleaning their armor for some unheard battle. Tell me, why I haven’t received any word of this battle even though the sorcerors were perfect for our last battle,” captain Amournia demanded coldly.

“This battle is not being fought at the Sky Cavern, therefore it’s not the battle you are expected to fight in as I’m sure Sarah should’ve informed you,” Albert replied in a matter-of-factly tone. “I know that, you imbecile! But I want to know why we’ve been excluded from [I]this[/I] one,” the captain hissed at him. “The Duck clan lands are where the new battle will take place and the landscape isn’t ideal for the Grasslanders to pull any surprises this time. Also their army is significantly weak, now. So we won’t need many troops to defeat the Grasslanders. We’ll be using the ground troops, Lebuque forces, and some of Lord Luc’s own special forces; the sorcerors are not necessary this time,” he answered not caring whether the self-centred captain was happy or not with his decision.

“Finally! Now, why couldn’t you just answer it like that when I first asked hmmm, [I]Al-bore[/I]?” Amournia taunted before leaving the large tent and looking back to sneer at Albert. While walking away to gather her sorcerors for another training session she complimented herself for using the cruel nickname she picked up from a messenger that delivered a message from Albert’s younger brother, who worked as a strategist for the Grasslanders.

This training session with the sorcerors was going a lot better than their early morning session. The sorcerors were all casting their spells very well, since they were warmed up and well fed this time. Amournia was usually never satisfied with them, but she was finding it difficult to find any flaws in their magic. Of course she’d still pick on her subordinates for any little things they did wrong, but it wasn’t enough to entertain the captain with.

“Being sorcerors, we don’t really understand how lucky we are compared to the other soldiers. I know many of you can be quite talented in your magic, but could you survive being a normal soldier? Now, let me see all of you do a few pushups-- let’s say fifty. I want to see your gratitude for being a sorceror under my command and for having your magical skills from all the training I’ve made you do,” captain Amournia ordered the sorcerors, grateful for her own creativity.

The majority of the sorcerors began to tire after thirty pushups. Many of them were out of shape because of the obvious reasons Amournia had known; they were only meant to serve their purpose in the army though magic and not much physical strength. Lieutenant Ludo finished Amournia’s cruel entertainment faster than the others did and only began to tire a little towards the end of it.

At times the sorceress didn’t like Ludo because he spoiled a lot of her “fun” unlike the other sorcerors. She’d never really complain about the lieutenant, since he was one of her only useful allies though. When the captain chose to make Ludo a lieutenant she’d announced it in front of all the other sorcerors during a very old training session. She granted him the position to encourage the sorcerors to work harder by giving them the false hope of getting a higher position as well.

Eventually all the Harmonian sorcerors had finished the pushups and were ordered to continue their training after thanking the captain for ‘not having to live the difficult lives the Harmonian soldiers do.’ Their arms were worn out and aching while they raised their staves to perform more spells, but continued to train just as well as they were before.

Another training session for the sorcerors had ended. By that time it was very late in the evening and many of the sorcerors were trudging off to get dinner. Amournia considered the fact that her training that time could’ve been a bit unreasonable, but thought against it believing her sorcerors [I]should[/I] be grateful for her existence in their lives.

The Harmonian encampment was empty because most of the army had left to fight at the Duck clan lands. Captain Amournia picked up some dried fish and a glass of diet soda for herself while acknowledging what awful food the army was forced to eat. She wondered why the people fighting for Holy Harmonia should be fed with such disgusting food. Amournia kept walking through the empty encampment to get to her tent for a nap that would help her stay awake during the last training session she had planned for the day.

As the sorceress walked a sudden realization dawned on her; she barely knew anything about her new commander and his strange associates. Captain Amournia noticed how little she knew about Luc’s plans for the army, she concluded that she should ask a little about Lord Luc while she had the time. Chewing hard on the dried fish Amournia changed her direction with newfound energy to go to Lord Luc’s tent again for more answers.

While shoving the last of her dried fish in her mouth the captain pushed Luc’s tent flap aside to poke her head in to check if anyone was inside. In the tent there was Sarah sitting at the table where Albert had been before and standing behind Sarah was a strange looking man wearing all black with a hat covering the top of his long, braided, blonde hair and shielding his eyes from the captain. Sarah and the strange man appeared to have been in some sort of conversation before captain Amournia had unexpectedly peeked inside the tent.

“Who’s this?” The man wearing all black asked. Amournia took offence to this and replied coldly, “I am captain Amournia, captain of the Harmonian sorcerors. Everyone who works in this army knows who I am, so who are you?” “This is Yuber, he works for Lord Luc just as I do. Is there a problem, captain?” Sarah answered in her quiet, squeaky, little voice making it seem she wanted the captain out of the way, so she could continue her conversation with Yuber.

“Are there any other ‘special’ people working for Lord Luc that I should know about now, before I run into them later?” Amournia asked hoping it wouldn’t be a very long conversation with the creepy pair. “It’s only Albert, Yuber, and I who work with Lord Luc on a personal level. Is there anything else you’d like to know?” Sarah replied giving only the information captain Amournia asked for.

“What exactly does Lord Luc need you for, what does he make you do? I mean Lord Sasarai never hired any ‘personal sorceresses’ and crap like that,” Amournia asked letting more of her curiosity show. “Lord Luc makes us do… special personal stuff,” Yuber answered this time while casting the captain an eery grin. Captain Amournia glared back at Yuber while wondering what he meant and what was with the weird smile. “Lord Luc gives us particular tasks to perform while the Harmonian army is fighting. Sometimes these tasks are dealing with certain enemies and other times the tasks are occupying certain areas, but Lord Luc has ordered us not to let any details of our operations get out to the rest of the army,” Sarah said to captain Amournia, showing that she didn’t want Yuber answering any of the captain’s questions by shooting an angry glance at him.

“Alright…, so why didn’t Lord Sasarai have anything like this? Is Lord Luc supposed to be better than Lord Sasarai for having a strange pair of people doing special missions for him?” Amournia could care less about what happened to her previous commander, but she found the need for these people in the army was unnecessary. “I guess [I]Lord[/I] Sasarai just didn’t think he needed any help other than the Harmonian army. Sasarai could use some help, now that he’s lost the force of the army though,” Yuber said again with another creepy grin while proving he wouldn’t stay quiet for Sarah too.

The sorceress had all the information she wanted and didn’t want to stay much longer with Lord Luc’s weird associates to talk about a subject she was no longer interested in. So the captain gave Yuber and Sarah a sleepy, uncaring look with an eyebrow raised as she sighed, “okay, I’ll go train my sorcerors some more. I think I should leave you two alone now, anyways. So good night, Lord Luc’s special personal-- whatever you call yourselves. I’ll look forward to seeing you again in our next battle.” The she exited the commander’s tent leaving the odd situation with Yuber and Sarah behind her.

Since it was going to be the last training session of the day, Amournia decided she would make her sorcerors work on all of their spells. That means the Harmonian sorcerors would be casting lightning, water, and combination spells that they didn’t normally use in battles, but along with the spells they always used in battle. Lightning and combination spells could prove useful in battle, but the sorcerors found their other spells, such as the fire and wind spells, much easier to conjure and aim at the enemy.

The sorcerors assembled outside their tents again to meet captain Amournia for more training. Captain Amournia chose to use the ruined land the sorcerors used to train on at dawn that day. Choosing this area again made it difficult for the sorcerors to find targets for the spells, but Amournia concluded they could manage on that terrain.

After the captain ordered her sorcerors to use ‘all the spells they knew’ the training began. The sorceress found the training interesting to watch because of the variety in the spells being conjured. Eventually it became quite late into the night and the captain and sorcerors were tiring. Before letting the sorcerors get some rest Amournia had something to say in relevance to the upcoming battle at the Lizard clan’s Sky Cavern.

“You may think that when you and your comrades die in this battle that it’s not too bad. You think that you’re glad you could die for your country and to keep your homes, so your wives and children could keep living.” Captain Amournia watched some of the sorcerors nod in agreement before adding, “but you’re wrong! When you die and let our fellow soldiers die that means the enemy is winning. And when the enemy wins they take our country and destroy your homes and families.” The captain wasn’t known for making inspirational speeches, but wanted to let her sorcerors know they couldn’t die happily. Before leaving to return to their tents, the sorcerors agreed to not allowing themselves to fall in battle.

Until the battle at the Sky Cavern came the sorcerors’ training had continued everyday just as ambitiously as it had that day. Their training was always hard and lasted for many hours before the sorcerors were permitted to eat or sleep. However, the extensive training always had Amournia and the sorcerors totally prepared for their battles.

It was a very sunny day with only a few clouds in the sky on the day the Harmonian army left to take over the Lizard clan’s Sky Cavern. The Harmonian sorcerors had been positioned at the rear of the army on a cliff ledge near the spot where the canyon divided into two smaller canyons. From those canyons the Grassland and Zexen armies would come to meet Harmonia’s forces. High up at the fork of the canyon was a safe place the sorcerors could attack both armies from.

Among the sorcerors was Sarah and below them were Lord Luc, Albert, Yuber, and some more troops that would join in the battle when they were needed. Captain Amournia didn’t enjoy Sarah’s company among her sorcerors, but it seemed Sarah was only there to take special orders from Lord Luc. Sarah stood behind the sorcerors, near the solid rock belonging to more cliffs ledges, to await any orders while the sorcerors followed Amournia’s orders.

The captain had alined her sorcerors according to their skills, the sorcerors best at wind spells were on the left near the Grasslanders and the sorcerors with the best accuracy for flame and electric spells were on the right near the Zexens. All other sorcerors either doing well with combination spells or moderately well with all other spells were lined up in the middle near captain Amournia.

For a list of the sorcerors’ names according to their positioning from left to right on the cliff ledge would go something like this: Miguel a sorceror with wavy brunette hair, Sairge who had hair like a blonde version of Lord Sasarai’s, Alex a very feminine looking sorceror with messy blonde hair, Bruno was the only bald sorceror, Ezra a sorceror with very short feathery hair and a very large chin, Dalet had fairly long brunette hair and indigo coloured eyes, Charles, Paul the only sorceror with a shaggy looking bowl cut, Jonathan a sorceror with very broad shoulders and had his blonde hair parted to the side, Karska who had a very high lift to his blonde bangs that hung to one side of his head, Lanquar had poofy blonde hair and very light blue eyes, Hurley with shaggy yet tidy looking hair and a large nose, Desmond a sorceror with his brunette hair slicked back and to the side, and Clark who had his spiky blonde hair slicked back and always had a very serious look on his face. As for lieutenant Ludo, he was walking back and forth down the line of sorcerors to check on how well they’d perform their magic.

From a distance, where most of the battle would occur, the sorcerors would all look the same in their blue uniforms except for Amournia in her red uniform. Standing out is what the captain wanted; she wanted the enemy to see her clearly and to have them remember her. To be remembered as a powerful opponent was the one thing Amournia had always hoped to be.

Captain Amournia’s first order for the sorcerors was to use the wind attacks on the Grasslanders and electric attacks on the Zexens, as she had arranged her sorcerors, while the other sorcerors near her would stand by until the captain said otherwise. The battle went on and it was apparent that Harmonia was doing well against the Grasslands, but not so well against the Zexen’s strong cavalry and armored troops. While watching the Harmonian cavalry fail against the Zexen along with many ground troops, the captain heard a messenger bring orders to Sarah.

Sarah looked a little shocked by Lord Luc’s request, but went forward to carry them out unquestioningly. The ground under the Zexen and Harmonian battle gave way to crush the soldiers, leaving a little less than half the number of troops for both armies. Amournia was somewhat amazed at Sarah’s willingness to bury their own troops, but was more amazed that Sarah was bearing a True Rune. Now, the captain figured that Sarah was more valuable to Luc because of the Rune. Yet she still wondered why Sarah was possessing [I]Lord Sasarai’s[/I] True Earth Rune… Lord Luc’s sorceress walked by the dazed Harmonian sorcerors to go back to waiting for any other orders from Lord Luc, allowing the sorcerors to continue the battle.

So the battle went on with the Grasslanders still trying hard, but struggling against Harmonia’s forces and the Zexens trying to fulfill their mission as reinforcements for the Grasslanders. Overall Harmonia was faring better and it would seem it would only be a matter of time until they’d win. At the end of the battle Amournia planned to pay a visit to Albert and gloat to him about how well she and her sorcerors always did in the war. Maybe she’d visit Sarah too to ask her how she got the True Earth Rune as well. Amournia decided all this while noticing Ludo had left his position without the captain’s permission.

Lieutenant Ludo had ended his patrolling to investigate the reason why a small rock had seemingly jumped off the cliff’s wall to hit his shoulder. The lieutenant walked over to the side of the cliff that the rock had come from and pressed his head against it to hear something pounding on the other side. Realization hit Ludo before he turned to yell at the other sorcerors, “fall back! Fall back! Abandon your posts!” Captain Amournia went towards Ludo in rage for telling her sorcerors to disobey her orders, but she was stopped when the cliff wall burst open. The solid stone remains of the wall crushed Bruno, Miguel, and Alex when they were trying to escape.

The Lizard clan came through a tunnel they hid inside the cliff and started their attack on the Harmonian sorcerors. A lizard that had slashed Ezra’s chest open trampled Dalet at the same time. As Dalet and Ezra’s blood flew off the lizard’s spear, another lizard next to it shouldered Sairge onto the ground and ripped its spear up through Sairge’s stomach and chest.

While Dalet, Ezra, and Sairge died a lizard’s spear was plunged through captain Amournia’s chest causing her to fall backwards onto her knees. Agonizing pain rippled from her chest to the rest of her body. In her last few minutes of the painful life she had created she watched the Lizard clan destroy her sorcerors. Charles had his back torn open shortly after he’d screamed to the other sorcerors to run away. Then the Lizard clan’s leader defeated Clark, Desmond, Paul, Jonathan, and Lanquar quickly.

Soon captain Amournia and all of the Harmonian sorcerors were dead and all cries to retreat were all in vain. Things the sorcerors and their captain had planned to do after the battle and war were all left undone. All of the sorcerors were forgotten and none of their names, talents, or appearances would be remembered. Even captain Amournia who had tried so hard to be remembered was forgotten. None of them died happy because they knew they had failed, had left many things undone, and were forever forgotten.

[SIZE="3"][CENTER]The End[/CENTER][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"]I’m satisfied with the way it turned out. Some of the wording could be better, but overall I like how it turned out. I know there aren’t only 15 sorcerors and they probably don’t have a captain, but that’s what fanfics are like (not perfect). I don’t know any of the sorcerors’ names either, I just gave them names that I really liked… most of the names I got from other things I like too. I got the inspiration to write this from this doodle of mine:

Speared Sorceress

Hosted By theOtaku.com.
So that doodle is Amournia except she should be wearing a red Harmonian uniform and the spear should be one of the Lizard clan spears. [/COLOR][/FONT]:catgirl:
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