Writing Guess what this is about (BEFORE you reach the end!)... ;)

[Mnemolth]

Something for the older teenager...

As usual criticisms, comments, praise and insults are welcome, as long as they're intelligible and intelligent. ;)

[b]A Love Eternal[/b]

There are many things I cannot do,
I see you but I cannot touch you,
I sense your sadness
And as much as I want
I cannot hold you,
Caress you, comfort you.

Encased in the coffin of your black dress
I feel your pain and your need,
Every beat of your helpless heart
Only tightens the noose around your neck.
I know the paralyzing palpitations
That suffocate you, drown you, exhaust you.

And,

I can do nothing,
For I stand here,
Looking upon you without eyes,
Listening to you without ears,
A silent soul adrift
Around you, about you, in you.

There are many things I cannot do,
Without form, without voice
I?m an invisible mute.
Yet, weep not for me my dearest,
For our love needs no form to give it substance
And no voice for it to be heard.

Until the Lord brings us together once more,

There are many things I cannot do,
Racing along the shores of spirits
Watching you pass on the river of life.
I can only pray your journey is a smooth one,
I can only wave and call to you
And tell you how much I love you.

A love that will survive,
A love that will endure,
A love eternal.

[zidane11]

The ending isn't anything like I though it would be. It's a pretty good poem.

[Makai Kite]

That's such a sweet poem, although I have no clue what it was about. I guess I have a vague clue, vague enough to appreciate the true beauty of the poem itself.

[Mnemolth]

Oh? What do you think its about Kaiba? :)

[Shinkoru]

well, i have osmwhat of an idear, sdly i can..well i know exactly that feelign but my love is still alive. Its about someone dead or someone u love but cant see or touch, isnt it? i knwo the feeling cuz iver never met my love, yett i love him still, heart undieing, lovign beign true to only him...

anway, was i,well am i rigbt?

[Red]

[b]Wow, I really like that poem Mnemolth, an excellent choice of words and phrasing.[/b]

[Shinkoru]

i guess this is spam but.. will some one read and reply to my poems? i have a thred it, its called hummm, poetry... plz,someone.. ide like ot kno what you think!

[Sere Tuscumbia]

Interesting poem. Nice imagery there.

And MDE, try to clean up the way you write. Looks like you either can't spell, or am misplacing where your fingers rest on the keyboard.

Let's see some more poetry Mnemolth! ^-^

[Makai Kite]

I do not think it's about Kaiba!

[Hyper]

Is it about a funeral?

[Mnemolth]

Yes. :D She's at his funeral. Its about love beyond death. Darn, come to think of it I think I've already posted this one when I first got here! *sighs* Sorry for the repeat. I sometimes forget where I've posted what.

Sere: Oh, here's another from me.

It was in another thread by tursi I think. But I think many people may have missed it. If you did look at it before, I apologise for repeating myself, but at least this time I'm doing it in advance! :D

[b]Red[/b]

Red is a white rose
Dipped in blood
Stained deep and dark
But never quite enough.

Red is a blind fury
A whirlwind of woe
A rage beyond words
That swallows all.

Red is a traffic light
That stops us in the night
Wakes us from our dreams
And leaves us shivering with fright.

Red is a Chinese wedding
Of beauty, fortune and trust
It is youth in Spring,
It is the heart afloat on a crush.

Red is many colours
Red has many shades
Close your eyes and see
What red are you today?

[Sere Tuscumbia]

Ooooo . . . that is awsome. All from the colour red. Red. And you got it to rhyme. I applaud you. I can't rhyme even if my life depends on it!

("Why don't you just rip her lungs out?!"
"I don't know. Lacks poetry."
"It doesn't have to. What rhymes with 'lungs'?")