Like you, I have clinical depression. I was diagnosed at the beginning of September, 2004, and I have been taking medication and seeing a psychologist ever since.
I used to be suicidal too, but that went away once I started to get help.
It all started back when I was 13 and I was overwhelmed with immense pain when my first boyfriend dumped me. I guess that was when the Depression was triggered inside of me, because I was miserable ever since. Except then, I didn't know it was Depression.
This past summer things started to get worse. I was depressed almost every day and thinking suicidal thoughts, but I never told anyone because I did not want anyone to worry about me. Finally, my close friend Danielle found out. Next, I told my best friend. She encouraged me to tell my parents, but I refused. I was afraid of their reaction.
But then, things got out of hand. One day at school, I was so upset that I was ready to kill myself right then and there. All I could think about doing was talking to my mother. I wanted to talk to her so bad. I needed help, so I went to the guidance counselor and spilled everything. She immediately called my parents up and told them what was wrong, and since then, I've been traveling on a better road.
Right now I am doing much better than I was three months ago. That doesn't mean I still don't get depressed at times. But, I have stopped having suicidal thoughts. Life is too precious to waste, and killing myself isn't an option.
Just remember if you ever need to talk about things, you can always come to me, because I know what you are going through.