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Writing The hunter


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The Hunter


The hooded man ran as fast as he could, the horse and its rider were right behind him. He saw a thick branch ahead of him. He jumped to it, grabbed and swung, he went completely over it then kicked away.
He landed softly, now he was behind the rider, He pulled out his bow and shot the horse with a gold arrow which was an instant kill, then he shot the rider with a Silver arrow Which would slowly and painfully kill the man.
"Ahhh!" screamed the rider. The hooded man walked over to the dying rider, drew out a White sword and beheaded him.
Then he took off his hood and said, "No one can kill the hunter!"

Chapter 1
The Raven

The sea was calm and the city was quiet as midnight approached, the hunter approached the city with a black wolf at his side. as he neared the city, he lit a match and put the match on a metre long stick. He set fire to 2 more sticks then threw them all at buildings. and then the last one, he threw at the palace. the whole city was ablaze, a warrior nearby came and duelled with the hunter. the fight took them to the cliff over the sea the warrior with a stroke of luck knocked the hunter off the cliff. But the Hunter could not be defeated that easily, he grabbed onto a branch and started to climb back up. The warrior very pleased turned around to walk away when he saw the hunters black wolf. The wolf ran to him and hit him off the cliff, "AHHH!" the warrior cried. the fire had know destroyed the whole city, A raven landed on the wolf making him vanish and then another raven landed on the hunters shoulder, he jumped and flew into the darkness of the sky.

The Hunter knew why the raven was taking him and his wolf, the bird belonged to an old enemy of his, the moon Prince.
the moon prince [Prince Kezroar] was the man who had sent the rider to kill the hunter.
The Hunter used to work for the Moon kingdom until they told him to executehis own father, he did not obey and instead murdered the King and Queen.
So, from that day forward the Moon prince and the Hunter were arch enemies.

When the raven had flown up to the highest clouds it teleported itself and the hunter to the moon.

They appeared in a room full of Crystals and Diamonds. This was the prince kezroars throne room.
"Well, well, it is nice to see you and your wolf again Inza!"
Inza immeadiatley pulled out a silver arrow and his bow and shot the prince.
Kazroar fell to the floor and started to die, then Inza killed him with his white sword.
but then the prince walked through the door.
"What!" shouted Inza.
But he had no time to do anything the throne fell through the floor and into a pit of fire!
Kazroar looked over the pit and saw the hunter die and burn in the flames, but he forgot about the wolf. He ran and hit Kazroar making him fall down the pit!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Kazroar as he fell to his death. The wolf yellped then faded away. the raven also faded away. then the palace burned down to the ground, so all that remained of Kazroar and Inza were ashes.
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[size=1] Again, read the rules. Or at least scan through them.

Double posting isn't allowed.

Instead of double posting, you can edit your old post and add whatever new text is needed in the post.

And if you want to also push the post back up, all that you have to do is copy your old post and whatever new text you want to add. Then delete your first older post, then paste your old post and your new one together, and abra kadabra, there you go.

As for your writing, it needs some work. I only read the first chapter-thing, but from what I see, you need to work on your verb tenses, spelling, grammar, and especially the constant repetition of "he."

Here's a good general rule to follow: Name that dog. Name the character.

Eh. Yeah.

I don't want to be too mean, and I'm not trying to be. If you enjoy writing, then do it. Don't let anything anyone says stop you, including me. If you keep at something you're sure to get better at it.

I've taken the liberty of combining your two posts. I hope that in good accord you won't do it again.[/size]
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