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I Can't Open My Peanuts!

Guest Mr. Shiny Happy

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Guest Mr. Shiny Happy
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here are some ACTUAL label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.

Some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.

On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On Nytol (a sleep aid): Warning: may cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's Peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hand
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Guest Mr. Shiny Happy
On a lawnmower I had was a big label which read:

We once bought a grocery store pizza and the instruction were on the bottom, so we turned it upside down to see how long to cook it etc., and low and behold the first instruction was DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN!

Warning on a curling iron: Do Not Insert Curling Iron Into Any Bodily Orifice?

My bathroom has inadequate ventilation and therefore, develops mold spots in the lower corners. I attempted to purchase a cleaner specifically designed to remove bathroom mold deposits. The directions on the product label stated, "Only use in well ventilated areas."

Seen on the bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle: "Do not open here."

On a bottle of spray paint: "Do not spray in your face."

On a bottle of bathtub cleaner: For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.

On a container of lighter fluid: WARNING: Contents flammable!

On a bottle of hand lotion: Warning: Starts healing skin on contact.

On a box of household nails: CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!

Microwave popcorn is packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it. Direction #1 is Remove plastic.

On a television commercial that says it cleans dentures 4 times better. Below in small print it said "Lab test: (their product) vs. water.

On a television commercial I saw it said they their denture paste was better than any other. BELOW IT, it said in small letters, vs. using no adhesive.

I have a full-face motorcycle helmet with a giant arrow pointing to the front. I can only guess that some idiot put the helmet on backwards, jumped on a bike and hurt himself. This is to protect to manufacturer from future lawsuits.

One day I went to a wall-mart out of state and I went to buy a blow dryer when I read the warnings it said "DO NOT BLOW DRY IN SLEEP"

Seen on the back of a drink bottle label: "Do not peel label off."

On a Band-Aid box: "For serious injuries, seek medical attention."

On a can of powdered infant formula: "Mix with water before serving." Like I'm going to spoon it to my baby dry!

This stupid label was found on a can of Woolite carpet cleaner: "Safe for carpets, too!"

This label was found on the BOTTOM of a box of glass ornaments: "Do not turn upside down."

On a box of Frosted Cheerio's, the logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."

On a plastic orange juice can: "100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate."

I once saw an ad for some type of contest on a candy bar. The wrapper said "No purchase necessary - Details Inside."

Directions for eating Lunchables Nachos: Dip chips in cheese and salsa.

The golf carts on the course I worked at have warning labels saying, "Not for highway use."

On Clorox Fresh Care: (for cleaning out odors from fabric) "Safe to use in households with pets Warning: Fresh Care is NOT intended to be sprayed directly on pets."

While working at a large medical center in the Midwest, a construction worker was admitted with a large hammer sticking out of his head. Seems he was in an altercation with another gentleman. On the side of the hammer were the words, 'Use protective eyewear.'

On the back of the Pilots seat on NATO AWAC Aircraft (E-3A), is a sign that states: "Seat must be facing forward for take off and landing."

I came upon a bottle of children's cough medicine stating "Caution: May cause drowsiness; do not drive or operate heavy machinery"

On the label of Sterno is a warning that says, "Do not use near fire or flame." Check it out!

Seen on a container of salt:
Warning: High in sodium

Seen on computer instructions: Visit our site for further instructions. [url]http://www.pc.com/pc/instructions.htm[/url]

On a hose nozzle there was a warning that said: "Do not spray into electrical outlet."

Seen on an industrial size washer in our local laundry establishment was the (large lettered) sign: "Warning: Do not put any person in this washer."

There is also a stroller on the market with the warning, "Remove child before folding."

I saw a car ad depicting cars driving in the water with fins like sharks. At the end of the ad in small letters it read: "Caution, do not drive underwater
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They have to put must of that stuff on there so they don't get sued. We live in a sue happy world. Ex. The chainsaw one. the plantif:"How am I supposed to know not to touch the chain?"
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Guest Mr. Shiny Happy
[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by SSJ2 Gohu [/i]
[B]They have to put must of that stuff on there so they don't get sued. We live in a sue happy world. Ex. The chainsaw one. the plantif:"How am I supposed to know not to touch the chain?" [/B][/QUOTE]

it's not all like that.
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Nothing674 [/i]
[B]I'd say they are necessary. Some people are stupid beyond help. [/B][/QUOTE]

[color=royalblue][b][size=1]I agree with you 100%. It's kind of sad that you'd actually need to write "open packet, eat nuts" on a bag of nuts...lol[/b][/color][/size]
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