Writing Dark Hearts

[Guest Skyechild91]

Dark Hearts, bright light
Sun burns, hearts flight
Giving in, play your cards
Love the moon, snare the stars
Love your wish, keep your right
Dark hearts take flight.
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It isnt bad, actually. I think i did ok. Comments?:love:

[Guest Skyechild91]

Kurama was waiting for someone. He stared out the window at the rain. He heard the door open and close softly. He wlked into the hall. Standing there was a soaking wet Sinri. I shook my head, sending a spray of water everywhere. I smiled at the look on Kuramas face. 'Miss me?' I said. Kurama handed me a dry uniform, which I took to the bathroom and changed into. I came out and said, as I combed out my ebony hair,' Something wrong?'Kurama sighed and siad,'Not really. You've been gone for so long...' he let his sentance trial off. I cocked my head and smiled slyly at him. I had dried off and was dressed in one of my school uniforms. I walked to him and gently pressed my lips to his, catching him totally by suprise. He fell into the kiss as he always did and let me take control. I pressed my warm body closer to his and made my kiss more passionate.

[erinzyger]

I love the poem, SailorStar! But I don't get the point of the second part. @.@ Wazzat all about?

[Guest Skyechild91]

Thats a story type thing. Like it?:whoops:

[Guest dayday]

I love the poem. It's real good. You really see many ryhming ones here. That's probably why it is to me. And I wanted to kiss Kurama too.

[Guest Skyechild91]

MINE!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Kurama moved his arms around my waist and kissed me back. I leaned into him. He moved one of his hands up and stroked my hair. I gently broke away from him. Then i leaned on him, my head on his chest. " I missed you," i murmured. Kurama buried his face in my hair, inhailing my smell. "And i, you, " he whispered back.

[Guest dayday]

What the...?! Why couldn't Kurama do that for me? :bawl: I want him. Oh, and by the way. Did you think I was a stuck up ruley person?

[Guest Skyechild91]

I didnt
~~~~~~~
I pulled away from kurama. I said," I need to go do dinner. Hiei and his girlfriend are coming over." I made my way toward the kitchen. I made dinner. when i was finished setting the table, Hiei knocked on the door. We all talked and had dinner. Kurama had to go talk with Hiei, Kuwabar, Boton, and Yusuke. Hiei left. Kurama hesitated, and I said," Love, ill be here when you get back." I kissed him agian and nudged him out the door.

[Guest dayday]

Ok good. That didn't have much detail in it. It's basically saying. "I let go of Kurama and went to make dinner. Hiei and his girlfriend came over and ate. We talked and they left." You could have put a little more into your writing than that.

[Guest Skyechild91]

Shut up~
~~~~~~
I slipped into the den and plopped down on the couch. I told myself, Idiot! You had your chance, but you blew it! I turned off the lights and spread out on the couch. It was three hours later when Kurama came hme. I was asleep. He lay down beside me and pressed his lips to the hollow of my throat. His arms incircled me again and i turned over. I leaned into his embrace. I was only half asleep. His hands started to trace the small of my back. My lips met his and i relaxed. We slept like that.

[Guest dayday]

What? I was just saying. And if I slept like that I know my neck would hurt more than it does now.

[Guest Skyechild91]

I woke up to find him gone. DAMN!, she thought. She had a heck of a headache. It was raining outside. She slipped on her uniform and went outside. She slipped quietly down the streets, soaked to the bone. She sat in an alleyway, pondering. She bit her lip. Why? Why do I always mess up? she thought. She was cold and wet, but so tired it didnt matter. She fell asleep.

[Guest dayday]

That doesn't make any sense.

[Mina]

No, it doesn't. :sweat:

You're using first person and 3rd person in there and it really messes me up. Also there's not too much going on, so longer posts are in order, I think.

I'm sorry....I'm confuzzled a lot these days. I love your poem though. Mind if I save it??

[Guest Skyechild91]

Yup. you can. I will do another peom, sumtime

[Guest Skyechild91]

Here is song i always liked. It was done by the two girl group, Indigo Girls.

Strange Fire
' I come to you with strange fire
i make an offering of love.
The insence of my soul is burned,
By the fire in my blood'
'I come with a softer answer
to the questions that lay in your path
i want to harbor you from the anger
Find a refuge from the wrath.'
'Ch:This is a message
A message of love
Love that moves from the inside out
Love that never grows tired.
I come to you with strange fire---fire.'
'Mercinaries of the shrine,
Well who are you to speak for God.
With huaghty eyes and lying tounges
Hands that shed inoccent blood.'
'Well who dillivered you the power
To interpet clavary.
you gambled away our freedom
To gain youer own athourity.'
'Find another state of mind
Reach out grab hold.
Strange fire burns with the motion of love---love.'
'When you learn to love yourself
You will dissolve all the stones that are cast.
You will learn to burn the icing skies
To melt the waxin mask.'
'They set the price to high for true release.
Heres a peace that will take you higher.
i come to you with my offering
I bring you strange fire.'
Ch:
'We come to you with strange fire-------------------'

I love it. I can sing it really well.

[Chichiri's Girl]

I like the poem but after that it gets kinda of confusing....it's still cool tho I guess. Oh and remember no double posting!*runs off laughing while you run behinde her with a folding chair while I screaming"My 103th post!"* Man you have a thing for the folding chair....0_o...LOL!

[Guest Skyechild91]

::grins:: dont I? And im a junior member! this would be my 328th post!(i think thats the right number...)
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EDIT: I was way off! Its my 373rd post!!! ::runs off screaming::

[Inuyashagurl_15]

I really like the things you were writing.....your storys