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Writing Silver Knights of Glacier


Guest Aries
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Their horses trudched through the endless fields of mud and forest, not many striked up conversation as they walked towards the destination. They followed their leader with out hesitaton. They had been treking for days hundreds of them all ready for battle. They came to a dense forest blocking their way, their leader raised his hands, holding up three fingers. Three scouts galloped to the front, all young and eager, hoping for some excitement, he turned to them lightly flexing his wings the dim sun reflecting on his aqua scales "The last thing we need is an ambush, check the forest and make sure it's safe, if so we rest here tonight.." they nodded and rode off towards the forest disappearing into the trees. Monos tail twitched slightly on the floor. The knights behind him watched on hopefully, a sea of silver and white, they wore no armour..
(More to come):p
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Welcome to OtakuBoards, Aries. ^_^

As you can see, I've moved this to an area that's more representational of what you're doing here. The Adventure Arena isn't a suitable place for this because as you presented it, it seemed more like an ongoing story you're working on as opposed to an interactive RPG.

Generally, when creating RPGs our members create a recruitment thread to plot the general rules of the game and collect a group of players. You see, there's a certain structure involved. I don't see that here.

Perhaps you should browse the RPG forum and investigate the OtakuBoards Information Center. If you still have questions or concerns, our staff is more than capable of addressing them.
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(Thanks Charles)
...just their uniform, the three rode back all smiling "Nothing, deserted.." the first replied, he kicked his horse in the flanks and rode back to his position in the ranks, the other two followed. Mono smiled and spoke to the captain, a silver elf by the name of Tridelion, his hair a flowing white, his eyes a shining silver, his uniform also white. He sat proudly atop a black horse whos coat shimmered in the ever fading sun light. "Ok Tride, take your men into the forest, we canp here for a few days and carry on.." he smiled. Tride nodded and kicked his horse in the flanks riding off at a gallop towards the forest, Mono stepped out the way as the others followed him, the squelching of hooves hitting mud came to his ears and he flew into the air, out of the way of any possible splashes.

Raffi waited impatiently, his blood-red eyes scanning the darkening horizen. He turned round and looked at the river of tents that was his slumbering army. He almost quivered with rage, why weren't them damn Silver Knights here yet! He ran a hand through his sleek black hair, pulling his hood down with it, his dark horse snorted its discust at the mud bath that was the battle field and its breath could be seen in the air. Raffi sighed an turned towards the tents walking to his own, his horse following obediently..
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Aries leaped from tree to tree, not pausing until he reached the clearing, just like the trees had reported there where the knights of Glacier all camping there. He scanned each that were still awake and moving about the camp, his eyes lingered for a moment on a dragon, he had could remember seeing such a dragon before, aqua scales, standing on hind legs in a human position...and only slightly taller than the average human male. His gaze moved about the camp, he counted many races, elves, dwarves, spirits and many others of hom he didn't know. Suddenly he was grabbed from behind and wrenched to the ground. He struggled, but whoever it was, was way to strong "Sir, we have a spy!" they yelled, Aries caught a glimpes of his face, a demon..an ocean demon. It was easy to tell, short silver hair and silver eyes, and slightly moist skin.

Mono got to his feet as Demphis yelled over at him, he walked over and looked at who he was wrestling. He smiled slightly "Don't worry Demphis, it's only a forest spirit, am I right Aries?" he asked softly bending crouching down. Demphis looked at his leader and relaxed his grip on the struggling spirit. Aries sat up gasping slightly for air and turning a steely gaze on the dragon, his eyes sofened "Mono? Oh my god!" he pulled the dragon into a friendly embrace. Aries finally let go of his old friend and held him at arms length.
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(Thanks kyotoruler7)
The dragon smiled "Long time no see Aries.." he stood up, and dismissed Demphis with a slight nod. The Knight smiled and walked back to his tent, crawling through the lose material that was the entrance. Aries got to his feet and beamed up at Mono.
"I agree!" he said heartily, his smile faltered slightly, then turned to a frown "Is it true then? About..the war?"
Monos gaze turned to the floor, brushing his cape behind him and looking back at Aries "I'm afraid it is Aries, I never thought when I created Glacier, this would happen." he muttered.
Aries stood up proudly "Well, you can count on us to help you out Mono.." he said determindly though deep down he was absolotley terrified.
The dragon smiled "I thank you Aries, and if you excuse me, I must turn in.." he inclined his head and turned, walking back towards his tent. Aries smiled and climbed back into a tree, disappearing within the branches.

Raffi yelled in fustration, smashing his fist through the wooden table. His second in command took a step back, knowing it dangerous to be to near his leader when he was angry, from experience. "What do you mean you lost track of that blasted Dragon!" he bellowed "They can't be hard to spot!" he clenched his fists, his demon side showing immensly.
"Si-sir, the-they disappeared into a forest...ou-our troops couldn't get past the magical boundries.." he stuttered, backing away into the wall of the kioski.
Raffi thought for a moment "That damn spirit.." he leaned against an unbroken peice of furniture.
"Si-sir?" the captain was confused now, he was mortal, and didn't know alot about magic.
Raffi twirled around his eyes ablaze "You betta find away then!" he yelled. The captain nodded and ran outside, happy to still be in one peice.
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Well......I read it. ANd I have a few things to say.

Good things first I suppose.:) Good story, nice plot...could turn into something good. (And as I know the actual characters...quite well...;) ) Description okay...but what do their surroundings look like? Oh sorry...that's a bad thing. :confused:

I suppose you'll think me really mean after this....but I'm not...really.:toothy:

1) Right then. Spelling...needs...to...improve....
2) Sentance Structure...I sorta saw commas and things where there needed to be a new sentance,
3) Make it a little bit more obvious that we're going into another character....like where you started a new character part, put a few stars (*) to show that a new character is coming in.

Good story, will read more
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