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Writing Like children


conpiracymonki
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[b][size=1]I don't know why I wrote these two, lol. I just felt like writing them, so I did. Nothing special about them; just thought they sounded cool so I decided to post them >.>

The usual comment and critique, please.[/b]

[i]Dreams[/i]
I wanna make a staircase
that reaches up to heaven
I wanna make a plane
that flies to the moon
And I wanna marry
that girl next door.

I wanna eat lasagne
in record-breaking time
And I wanna make
the world's best game
I wanna be someone
everyone remembers.

And I wanna cook something
that everyone likes to eat
I wanna make a song
everyone can sing
I wanna do something
that makes sense.

Because I want to.

--

[i]Fairy[/i]
There's a fairy sitting at the end of my bed
and her eyelids are droopy like her socks and her wand.
Her hat's wilted to one side like a flower
and I think she's really tired.

And I think there's a gnome sleeping under my bed
because sometimes I hear him roar like a giant.
He might be hurting from a bellyache
or maybe that's how little people yawn.

And I'm sure I saw a dragon hiding in my closet
but it didn't want to come out when I asked.
It stepped back behind the coat rack
to go to sleep.

I think.[/size]
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[size=1] The first one was okay, to say the least. I don't know. It's not something that really affected me at all, since I've seen so many songs/poems/whatever like it.

The second one I enjoyed a lot more than the first. It actually was interesting, and I liked how you ended it so suddenly and in a new stanza with, "I think."

Keep writing, I want to see more! More slave![/size]
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