Jump to content
OtakuBoards

Writing My poems


DarkElfAngel
 Share

Recommended Posts

hey everyone! just thought i'd write some of my poems here ^_^ well here's the first one.

Friends

I'll dress up as a clown
I'll wear lots of funny hats
I'll jump up and down
Just so you will laugh

I'll bring you lots of flowers
So you won't ever be sad
I'll annoy you all the time
Hoping you won't get mad

I'll sing silly songs
And make actions for them too
If you ever get sick of them
I'll try and make something new

So please don't be sad
I'll be there till the end
You don't ever have to worry
Because I'll always be your friend.

Written by Short <--- thats me! ^_^

well if u like this one i'll maybe put up more l8erz!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

well since i got such a positive review for my last poem i decided to put another one ^_^ well here it is.

My Destiny

I looked everywhere
Up and down
Side to side
And even around

I told myself
"Don't worry,
My destiny will come
If it is meant to be"

So I sat there in wonder
As the years went by
If my destiny will make me smile
Or just make me cry

But now I'm not scared
I know it's meant to be
All that searching with the answer right there
I found out my destiny.....was me

By Shortie-chan
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[color=deeppink][font=arial]
Wow, I really loved your second poem. Very bright and outspoken. A 'glad to be me!' type of poem that is optimistic without being overly...happy. Poems like that tend to get sickly sweet, but you did it very well. Good job! (My favorite line is the last one, can't you tell? ^-~)

Your first poem actually held a kind of bittersweet undertone. Like you're so dedicated to your friends, you're willing to play the fool for them. Almost sounds as if your friends could be better friends. But that's just my angsty, depressing opinion. I can make almost anything have a dark side. ^^;;

Anyway, good job! Keep writing!

-Karma
[/font][/color]
Link to comment
Share on other sites

O_O woah... those... were.... GREAT!! They're much better than mine! I love the first one becuase I find it unique. Most of the poems in this forum are depressed and sad (no offence, it makes them good^_^ and anyway, mine are sad like that) but your poem was very bright and spontaineous^_^! I loved the idea, the rythem was great, and it rhymed very well (not that it had to, but I think you were trying to) ^_^! GREAT job!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

wow! ^_^ i didnt think i would get such nice reviews for my poems thankies. well i guess i couldnt change the style with this next one. it's kind sad but i'll see wat u think...

Broken Heart

The glass shatters
The windows crack
The wind howls
The demons are back

I walk alone
This lonely night
Will nobody come
Will I have to fight this fight

Nobody knows
What troubles I hide
Is anyone here
Are you on my side

What will become
Of this world full of hate
Can no one change
Or is this all fate

Am I really here
Can you see my heart
Am I unique
Or just one part

Emotions are stupid
They just get in the way
If you don't get rid of them
Then you will pay

Believe it or not
Cause it happened to me
I had to pay with heartbreak
Can you still not see

If you don't
You need to wake up
This is no dream
Get up off your butt

This world is too cruel
For you to sleep
You need to get up
Get up on your feet

How can you dream
Dreams bring false hope
All these things you say
These feeling won't cope

You say feelings are good
I'm sorry to say
You've got it all wrong
Feelings are something we all have to pay

Love is one feeling
I still don't get
It cost so much
I thought I lost a bet

The price was big
Though just one part
It's gone for good
I lost....my heart

Written by Short

P.S. this waz actually the very first poem i wrote. the next few ones all have something in common and hopefully when i put up the next ones u'll see why.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

well thnkies for such ur nice review ^_^ i guess i can put up the next one since im so nice ^_^;;

Raindrops

Onto myself
The raindrops fall
Flooding my world
Drowning my life

No one's here
To help me up
The rain comes
It's here to stay

I want to stay
But the pain's too much
I need to leave
But you hold me back

Don't let me go
I'm afraid to fall
Stay with me
I need you here

Didn't you hear
I yelled it out
I'm afraid to go
To let you leave

I'm telling you now
Don't you see
I don't want to leave
Cause the person who loves you is.....me

Written by Short

this one didnt have many rhyms cuz i wanted to try and do something different. let me know wat u think ^_^
Link to comment
Share on other sites

why thankies KOC for ur nice reviews ^_^ well i guess i can put up the next poem. yay! ^_^;;

Bleeding Heart

Heartfeld wishes
Dashing dreams
All this hoping
Is one big sceam

Loving hearts
Knowing minds
All telling me
I must be kind

Meaningful tears
Numorous lies
All these things come
When something inside me dies

I guess it wasn't enough
When I offered only me
You broke my heart again
Why can you still not see?

I trusted you
I loved you so
I offered you everything
And I never said no

But you left for someone else
And I'm waiting for a start
A time where I can sit and heal
And comfort my Bleeding Heart

Written by Shortie-chan
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[color=deeppink]
This one was really good too. I can relate to the theme, as I have recently gone through something just like that. You give them everything...and they take it, break it, and never look back. Stanza 3 was the part that really kind of hits. Something inside you dies.

All in all, very nice! Try fixing your spelling in the first two stanzas though, it makes a little hard to read and understand.

-Karma
[/color]
Link to comment
Share on other sites

thank u guys for ur nice reviews ^_^ yay! people actually like my poems! hehehe well I guess I can put up the next poem ne?

Just Leave Me Alone

I?ve had enough
Why can?t I stop?
I keep thinking of you
From bottom to top

I want to give up
I want you to leave
Why do you plague my mind?
Please, just let me be

I have pictures of you
So clear in my mind
No matter how hard I try
It?s all I can find

I will only say this once
Though it?s not clear in my tone
You?re hurting me by being here
So please, just leave me alone

Written by Short

This wazn't actually the next poem but I didn't like how the last few turned out so I'm not sure if I'm gunna put them up.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...