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Writing A poem here is it good?


Megumi momo
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Love the untitled

I lack that emotion because I have treid to deny it.
I lost that emotion because I have tried to find it.
So why have I been falling down in the pits of depair.
When all I know is that I've not only fallen but I am standing there.
I try to see myself as someone who I have yet to find.
Because if I look farther I will get lost behind.
I ask myself if all I wanted was to hold someone close and say the truth.
Then why am I losing hope in finding what is True.
I am who I say I am but underneathe it is all lies
Because I am lost behind myself, behind another disguise.
So what am I to anyone but lost in thinking that I can ever come out clean.
And say the truth nothing is what it seems
So I'm learning every day how to lower my gurad down.
So that I can love once agin and not get lost in what I found.
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[color=deeppink]
Great poem! (And uh, welcome to the OB. lol.)

The rhyming was done very well, and it had good rhythm. the only thing I would suggest is perhaps breaking the lines up into a more structured form, rather than glomped together. And perhaps give it a little more focus, you occasionally seem to switch off on tangents randomly.

But your expression of the theme was excellent. Wanting something only after it's gone, finding that you gave up your most important dream because you thought it was impossible.

All in all, very good! I'd like to see more. ^-^

-Karma
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