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Writing My first poem in a long time


Barra Maral
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Ok, i dont write very good poetry often, so when i do, i like people to know.....

This came to me on the bus this morning and i wrote it down in first period.


Why must you torture me so?
Why wont you just let me know?
Why cant you just let me in?
You know, being with me isnt a sin...
We are alike in almost every way,
Or so Ive thought for many a day.
Ever since that one night,
Ive begun to think im not so right.....


Thats it.... i Know its short but everyone says its good so i thought you all might like it.
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Deep mon, very deeply touching. That is quite the good poem... you should send it in to Poetry.com and get a chance to have it published. That's what I did and it's in Eternal Portraits in the U.S. and some other book coming out in Feb 2004 in Europe.
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[color=003333][size=1]Eternal Poets and the like are pay-to-publish companies. You really don't want to be affiliated with them. You have to pay to have your stuff published and the books aren't half as good as they make them out to be. They'll let anyone in that'll pay.

As for the poem, it's definitly good. Though I don't much care for rhyming poems anymore.

Line three and four clash a little bit, line four seems a bit drawn out.[/size][/color]
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[color=deeppink]
Short and sweet. =)

Unrequieted love is the subject of many a poem. This one was okay, as they go.

As long as you got your feelings down on paper, that's the important thing. ;)

As for the girl, the best I can say is that with time you'll get over her. Unless you're really weird and just don't when to let it go, like my stalker.

Don't be like my stalker. That'd be real uncool. o.o;

-Karma
[/color]
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Barra Maral [/i]
[B]Yes i know they clash a bit, but i didnt change it at all, this is how it came to me.... so i just kept it [/B][/QUOTE]

[color=003333][size=1]Then it's perfect.
And I'm sorry about the results.[/size][/color]
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