Writing Poems by yours truely

[Haze]

heh. Never ever thought I would start a thread in here for poems. I don't think this thread will be updated often. I just write poems in a spur of the moment fashion. And I hardly ever get inspiration. But these are two I just wrote.
Hope it ain't too violent. I don't like the last 2 lines. Oh well.
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[I]Lies[/I]

The lies you fed
All the petty tears I shed.

All for you and nothing more,
Now just leave,
Get out that door.

Go someplace and die for all I care.
You love me?
Don't you even dare.

Lies, lies, lies,
That is all you ever say.
Well I won't be the one who's gonna pay.

I am the light of your life?
Really?
Heh. Go do something with this knife.

Death to me, and death to you.
We'll all die
once you are through.

You never wanted to end up alone.
Now you must reap the lies you have sewn.

The lies,
The tears,
The pain,
The sorrow.
I never deserved any of them.
Like a flower, broken off at the stem.

All for me? All for me?
Do you think I can't see?
You still lie, cheat, and hurt.
I am the only one you cannot convert,
To your side of the story.
Without me you cannot return to your glory.

So goodbye
And if I ever see you again with even one of my eyes,
You will pay.
You won't even get the chance to pray.
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I like this one better.
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You said I was beautiful.
You said I was kind.
You said all of those things
that blew my mind.

I fell hard and fast.
Dreaming and dreaming,
That forever it would last.

Then the truth came out.
The truth of what we were really about.

You tought me what it was like to hate.
You tossed your line,
And I took the bait.

Never again will I be so naive.
I cannot afford
Getting caught in love's tricky weave.

I will never again trust,
that foolish thing called fate.
Leave it all to cry in the dust.

I hope you rot in bloody, little pieces,
Stuck in the lies that you live.
While my hate just increases.

[Mitch]

[size=1] They aren't bad at all. I've seen, far, far, far far far [i]far[/i] worse than this thread, let me tell you.

You're just developing as a poet. The use of simple words, the use of simple rhyming, the use of simple, mostly-even lines. It's you and your voice, and as you continue to write more of it will come out.

I did like the last one better--even though the two poems are almost interconnected in a way, almost about the same thing, only at different levels of refute.

Keep writing--as I've said in other threads I've reviewed today--because that's the best advice I can give to a poet.[/size]