Writing brain feels black coma gonna be a nebula

[Mitch]

[size=1] Ending is too short in comparison with the longness of the other lines. But I still think it works well enough.[/size]

________

[b]brain feels black coma gonna be a nebula[/b]
brain feels black coma gonna be a nebula
gun steeled to head and pulling trigger gonna die gonna bled gonna fall gonna dread
gonna fall gonna be gonna go gonna see
gonna go gonna call gonna dream
gonna never matter gonna never be free.

brain feels black coma gonna be a nebula
nebulae me loving lover down the stars
bleed me black bleed me down far
brain feels black coma gonna be a nebula
gonna destroy with creation gonna build so great
gonna kiss the bleeding mouth of your soul
gonna be there for you when you're gonna drone.
brain feels black coma gonna be a nebula
sparkle shine black hole white as divinty divine
angels seem to piss from all over and create this grime

surgically removed my brain today
looked at it with my eyes as they blackened with shame
bled all over you bled all over the stairs bled all over blamed
fell over couldn't support physical distance felt depraved

looked at my brain saw a bullet's crater
looked at it saw black coma broken there
comet cometual cometing flair
burnt brains burnt scare

brain was peachy color peachy dead
lookin over lookin smokey head
musta shot myself in some way
musta hit some nerve

bullet hole's still there as i surgically placed back in my brain bleeding
bullet hole was small but big but mighty hurting but mighty pain
feels broken feels chained feels powerful and some of me is gone
taken with that bullet shot oblong taken with me swallowed gone
like abyss like black spiders crawled bliss like shot hiss
ignorance ignorants ignored unknown any longer
never knew nothing never knew anything shoot me clarice
clarice you're so pretty clarice
silence me silenced silent

want to rip out my brain
want to shoot you shoot it all shoot it drained
sick happy smiley raw gore emblaze
hearts pumping hearts' gravity bleating
bleating bleat bleat bleat can you hear it
i can hear it i can hear it
brain feels black coma gonna be a nebula

brain feels black
coma gonna be a nebula
brain feels black
coma gonna be
a nebula

a nebula
a nebula
gonna be
a nebula.

[Amorphous]

[color=crimson] [size=1]Now this piece of work I think just blows me away. You've outdone yourself I could never write anything like that. I would love to give a review or any criticism but I don?t know what to say at this moment. It works well as a song and a poem really. Yes as well the ending does work even though the lines are short in comparison to the others [/color][/size]