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Writing The Looming


Mitch
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[b]the looming[/b]
the fist protrudes
upward,
its fingers balled tightly
to one another
in a crushing fist

the arm
looms under
the hand
the veins
of the arm
protrude

and the fist
opens,
its fingers loosen,
the palm is revealed,
and the fingers
begin moving back
until the fingers
strain and bend
the ways they
shouldn't.

they fall in
from the palm
pointing down.

the arm
collapses
the veins
secede
and all has stopped
and is on the ground.

a drop
of water
is frame-stopped
in time
as it hits
the floor

its form is a Y
like a corset wearer's.
the light
shines
and
the water
looks like
a balled fist
the arm protruding
out.

then time
begins
and the drop
of water
secedes.

a mushroom
lies in the wild
of a forest's growth
on the bark
of a tree
whose age
is limitless.

the toadstool's
top looms out
and shadows its stem
the sun falls down
between the trees
and a woodpecker
pecks at the bark
in a knick-knack of sound.
the mushroom
is found
by a scavenger.
eaten
it secedes.

a ballet dancer
swerves in a twirl
and does a handstand.
her dress, with fringe
makes an umbrella
as her legs, thin and bone,
grace outward.
her body is small as a twig,
it is overshadowed by the dress's
blooming fringe
looming out.
she loses balance
tumbling to the floor
she cowers in her hands
leaves from the curtain
and secedes.

an umbrella
held in a Frenchman's hand
repels rain
as its top looms
over its holder's head.
he twirls it
as he walks with
his wife through the narrow
streets.
and through an alley
the umbrella is seen
waggling along.
he secedes.

a muscleman's neck
shoulders a bobbing head.
the veins stick out
in strain.
he moves a metal dumbbell
up with all his force.
his hair moves in strands.
and his head looms out
from his neck's hold.
he lies down on the chair
and tired he secedes.

a looming cumulo-pileus
cloud sombers the sky.
its dense mass
bulges subtle semi-circles
of its fluff.
its top
is smooth,
without subtle semi-circles,
and looms above its mass.
the cloud
is long and wide
and heaped-up.
on the ground
the cloud casts shadows
that leer in the eye.
the cloud is a malicious
castle sky.
it crowds
and spans far away.

a president
in distress
and the cold war
is in effect.
missles' heads
penetrate on the land.
glaring up at the United States
the heads hold much
in their metal hulls.

but they are so hollow
when hitten on with a hand.
and this crisis is averted
in the president's hands.

and there the bomb falls,
like a stork dropping a baby
from its jaws.
like a fist, slamming a punch
to a face.
like a meteor to destroy
the dinosaurs.

and there the bomb falls,
like a metal slug
from a bullet
hitting a soldier's
head.
and going deep in
to his brain's side.
there the bomb falls,
like Newton's apple
falling on his head.
like a hurtling heaven
falling from the sky.
like a scabbed-winged angel
ready to die.
like a Kamikaze
ready to sacrifice
it all in a bang.
like a ballet dancer
handstanding freefalls
in the air.

there it falls.
and a cloud
like a mushroom
blooming from
the sky.
colossal,
it looms its ruinous eye.
rains down fallout
from the sky.
atoms go off
in a chain reaction
of time.
like fireworks
on the fourth of July.

Hiroshima and Nagasaki
die.
the mushroom cloud
subsides.

buildings stand
in shackle ruins.
innocent citizens
lick their wounds
but die from poisoning
radioactive blooms.

lives are saved,
Harry S. Truman glooms.
and the devastation
hardens and ends
going into a cocoon
to spin its way
to being remade.
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[FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=1][COLOR=DarkOrchid]At first, I was puzzled about the fist in the air. Then, when I finished the part about the mushroom, I figured out that you were comparing the shape of a mushroom cloud to those objects.

Though when the mushroom example is given, I think that ends the description of the cloud. It's a good time to end it too, the mushroom is a very obvious description of an atomic blast. The ballerina, the frenchman, and the muscle-man all could be describing the axis powers: The ballerina falling is the Japanese navy feeling the repurcussions of the attack on Pearl Harbor, the muscle-man getting one last rep before stopping is the military of Nazi Germany during the Battle of the Bulge, and the frenchman somehow applies to Italy, though I don't know how.

The cloud passage totally loses me. Then the next passage talks about the beginning of the arms-race. Then the different references of different events to the dropping of the bombs is pretty self-explanitory. I especially like the Newton reference, which the apple is the origin of this.

The second to last passage is great, talking about the ruins and the survivors dying of the radioactivity. I remember reading some published diary of a survivor, and she talked about some of the survivors drinking some water and dying soon after. There was also another book that talked about the charred sides of buildings having outlines of people going about their lives when the bombs hit, evidence to how unprepared they were.

The last passage's cocoon statement was a wonderful end. Saying that wars and acts are sometimes a necessary evil in the world.


In all, a very nice poem. I enjoyed reading it very much. Even more so finding out what it means to me. I hope my analyzation of it is what you were thinking of while writing it.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
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[size=1][color=red] I thought your entire post was genius. This is what I wish I saw more of in this forum.

I thought this was especially enlightening:

[quote] Though when the mushroom example is given, I think that ends the description of the cloud. It's a good time to end it too, the mushroom is a very obvious description of an atomic blast. The ballerina, the frenchman, and the muscle-man all could be describing the axis powers: The ballerina falling is the Japanese navy feeling the repurcussions of the attack on Pearl Harbor, the muscle-man getting one last rep before stopping is the military of Nazi Germany during the Battle of the Bulge, and the frenchman somehow applies to Italy, though I don't know how.[/quote]

When I wrote this, I wasn't even thinking this. It's just sort of. . .there when you see it. And this is writing at its best: when I don't even see the images I'm associating with other things when I'm writing them. That's just an amazing feeling.

I'm very glad you posted. Thanks. We need more of this around this forum. . .badly.[/size][/color]
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[FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=1][COLOR=DarkOrchid]I've just now thought of how the Frenchman represents Italy. Mussolini hid himself inside of the Vatican. The allies would never bomb the holy city because they would lose a lot of support for attacking a holy site. So that's the umbrella stopping the rain. And Mussolini is the Frenchman, just waltzing around.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
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  • 11 months later...
I think the Frenchman may be a few things, Radaghast I like your idea, but I also think that the fact that the Frechman may also throw some inferance to Vichy. (the French Government that alowed itself to be controled by Germany.) Hence the [i]Frenchman[/i]

The Cloud, I think, was obvious to me as soon as I read that you didn't understand it.
It represents the Axis powers. During WWII The Axis spread over Europe and much of the Pacific. Infact, three major things caused there downfall

A: Japan attacks Pearl Harbor: Brings US into war

No doubt the US would have joined the war sooner of later, but this bought them in much sooner than most Americans would have liked.

B: Hitler tryes to bomb the island of Great Britain. If there is one thing you should learn from history: Great Britain is near Imposible to invade or deffeat, I beleive its only been done once, just after the fall of Rome.

C: Hitler tryes to invade Russia, in the winter. Napolian tried this as well, and lost.
Hitler was forceing himself to sustain two fronts. The Eastern Front would have been easy for Hitler to hold, but Russia seems to lure crazy dictators into its trap every time.

With out this I think the Axis would have probably taken over the world.
The Axis power controled much of the world during WWII. They were closer to world domination than we would like to think.

------------------------
Any way, enough of my history...Its a great poem once you finish it, It ties together very nicely. I love it.
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