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The Legend of Selda

Dragon Warrior

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[center][I][size=1]Long ago, in the far off world of Hycool where everyone was extremely awesome (well, everyone, but that Wesley guy. He was so-so), there was the kingdom of Hycool. In it was a king? duh! There was also a princess named Selda. Hidden in the kingdom by Selda was the all-powerful three triangles known as the Three-Quarters Force. What good was it, we don?t know, but an evil Prince of Darkness known as Lennard--[/size][/I][/center]

[b]Lennard:[/b] I prefer to be called Ganon!

[center][I][size=1]Sorry. GANON wanted the three-quarters force. So, taking quick action, Selda broke the three-quarters force into eight pieces and scattered them across Hycool. Ganon was furious.[/size][/I][/center]

[b]Ganon:[/b] Meh. (shrugs) Whatcha gonna do.

[center][I][size=1]So in a fit of rage, he kidnapped Selda and held her for ransom![/I][/size][/center]

[b]Ganon:[/b] Hey! That?s not a bad idea. Thanks! (kidnaps Selda)

[b]Selda:[/b] Thanks a lot, narrator!

[center][I][size=1] Any time! Anywhoozles, she was kidnapped. The king of Hycool was worried. No one attempted to save the fair princess. Only one brave hero marked in pink clothing stood up for the job.[/I][/size][/center]

[b]King:[/b] What?s with the clothing?

[b]Hero:[/b] Umm? laundry day.

[b]King:[/b] Wait? isn?t your name Pink?

[b]Pink:[/b] No? it?s um? uh? (flips through Nintendo Power) Samus Aran! D?OH!

[b]King:[/b] You lie!

[b]Pink:[/b] Hey! Shut up or I won?t save the *****.

[center][I][size=1]So the king shut up and Pink was off to save the *****-I mean? Selda? yeah?[/I][/size]


[I]We start our adventure where Link-I mean? Pink (damn these names) is on his way through Hycool Market to find a decent weapon and shield. There didn?t seem to be any. I mean, there was a scooter monkey, but those only work well in the summer. What?s that? What?s a scooter monkey? You?ll see when you have your contanaboomp.[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] La la la? shoppingness.

[b]Bully1:[/b] Hey, pink punk.

[b]Bully2:[/b] Hehe. Pink.

[b]Pink:[/b] ?Sup, dawgs?

[b]Bully1:[/b] Yo, shut up, foo?! You can?t talk slang like us mothas!

[b]Pink:[/b] You?re mothers? Congratulations. What did you name the little tikes?

[b]Bully1:[/b] Dat?s it! We?re gonna open a can of whoop-*** on? your ***.

[b]Bully2:[/b] Fresh from the shelf!

[b]Pink:[/b] Why?s that, big brutes that could easily harm me?

[b]Bully1:[/b] ?Cause you talkin? crazy! This be a Zelda ripoff, dawg!

[b]Bully2:[/b] Tru dat.

[b]Pink:[/b] I?m sorry, but I?m not sure I follow.

[b]Bully1:[/b] You?re just a little pink Link ripoff too.

[b]Bully2:[/b] Hehe. Pink.

[b]Pink:[/b] Umm? excuse me, but you?re extending the first episode?s storyline a little too much. We?re already on page 2 in a word processor.

[b]Bully1:[/b] Aw damnit! We?ll be back, foo?!

[b]Bully2:[/b] Hahaha! Umm? yeah!

[I]Once the two bullies left, Pink spotted a shop and entered.[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] Hewwo. May I purchase a sword and shield?

[b]Shopkeep:[/b] You need moneys first! We not give things away for freesies!

[b]Pink:[/b] What?

[b]Translator:[/b] He said buzz off or he?ll be forced to slay you unless you have money.

[b]Pink:[/b] Oh. Okay. (walks out of shop) Such a nice man. I guess I?ll have to get money from the King. After all, he should give me money since I [I]am[/I] saving the world!


[b]King:[/b] Piss off!

[b]Pink:[/b] But I?m saving the world for you! Can?t you just spare a hundred rupees?

[b]King:[/b] Though it?d seem like a good idea to support the man who will save our world, my answer still stands at ?No!? Be gone or I?ll slay you.

[b]Translator:[/b] He says--

[b]Pink:[/b] I know what he said!

[I]And so Pink wandered back out into the market place.[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] Where will I ever find enough rupees for a sword and shield?

[b]Random Guy:[/b] Excuse me- (leaps out of a dumpster) -I couldn?t help but overhear you need money.

[b]Pink:[/b] Yes, I need it to save the world.

[b]Random Guy:[/b] Hahahaha! Man, that?s priceless! You cute little gay kids these days.

[b]Pink:[/b] (snorts) I?m not gay.

[b]Random Guy:[/b] Sure thing, muffin. But if you want rupees, slay some people.

[b]Pink:[/b] Hmm? putting aside the fact that you called me gay and muffin, your logic intrigues me and I wish to join your organization.

[b]Random Guy:[/b] Otay! (gives Pink a membership card to the ?Prosperous-Looking Peoples?)

[b]Pink:[/b] Hm. Prosperous. That?s sexy.

[b]Random Guy:[/b] Yes. (is suddenly in a dumpster on the other side of town)

[b]Pink:[/b] Why does Gavynn always use such random humor in his stories? (shrugs and wanders off)

[I]So Pink decided to kill some people like the prosperous-looking man from the dumpster suggested. He took a stick and started his reign of terror.[/I]

[b]Man:[/b] So then I said, why do you want my--(turns around) Why are you poking me with that stick?

[b]Pink:[/b] Umm?

[b]Man:[/b] And why is your clothing pink?

[b]Pink:[/b] Umm?

[b]Man:[/b] Are you-

[b]Pink:[/b] No.

[b]Man:[/b] Are you sure you?re not-

[b]Pink:[/b] No. I mean-yes! I mean? gotta go. (runs off)

[I]Things are not looking good for our young gay friend.[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] I?m not gay!

[I]Whatever you say, cupcake. Anyways, after becoming fed up with trying to attempt murder, he decided what was best was to try and see if he could get rupees from monsters.[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] (approaches drooling creature of doom) I want rupees ;_;

[b]Monster:[/b] Otay! (gives Pink a hundred rupees)

[b]Pink:[/b] Yippie skippie! :^D

[b]Monster:[/b] >:^o

[b]Pink:[/b] What?

[b]Monster:[/b] I?ll just be taking these back now! (takes back money and runs off to have a tea party)

[b]Pink:[/b] Awww? this blows.

[b]???:[/b] Or does it?

[I]Pink whirled around to see a hobo in a trash can with a wooden stick shaped like a sword.[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] A sign! (beats the hobo down and takes his trash can lid and wooden sword)

[b]Hobo:[/b] My house!

[b]Pink:[/b] (socks the hobo) ONWARD!

[I]And so, Pink is finally able to start his journey. But will he survive in the dark world of Hycool with evil people like Lennard out there? Find out in the next gripping episode of LEGEND OF SELDA (though the story is more about Pink than Selda)![/i]

[b]Hobo:[/b] Gavynn will pay for making me play this role. (collapses)

Episode 2 on it's way soon :<
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:laugh: That's hilarious! When did you come up with this stuff?! It's almost completely random, but insanely funny... you've gotta be gifted man.

I like the way even the narrator plays a part... "Thanks a lot narrator!" " ...our young gay friend.
Pink: I?m not gay!"

Though you have to wonder what kind of copyright this might be pushing... <_<
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[I]Last we left our hero, he had just beaten down a hobo for a wooden sword and shield. But there?s a problem! Pink doesn?t know how to fight! What will the little gay hero do?[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] Hey, shut up!

[b]Random Person:[/b] I believe I may be of some service to you.

[b]Pink:[/b] I?m not gay?

[b]Random Person:[/b] Oh, I know. I?m speaking of how you can learn to fight.

[b]Pink:[/b] Meh? :<

[b]Random Person:[/b] Yes. Much meh.

[b]Pink:[/b] Tell me more, random person.

[b]Random Person:[/b] Otay! (sits down on a stump that came out of nowhere) Deep in the Lost Woods lay a wise man--

[b]Pink:[/b] Who will teach me how to fight! Yippie skippie! :^D Thanks, random person. I?m off to the Lost Woods! (rushes off)

[b]Random Person:[/b] Come back here, you pink fairy. I?m not finished yet!

[I]But it was too late. Pink had already set off to find the famed Lost Woods where a wise man supposedly lived.[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] Gee willickers, I hope that wise man can help me. (enters the Lost Woods) It sure is scary ;_;

[b]Monster of Doom:[/b] I knowz.

[b]Pink:[/b] Yeah. Say, Monster of Doom, can you point me in the direction of the wise man? He?s gonna teach me stuff!

[b]Monster of Doom:[/b] :^o

[b]Pink:[/b] What?

[b]Monster of Doom:[/b] I want some spandex >:^o

[b]Pink:[/b] Okay. If I find you some spandex, will you point me in the direction of the wise man so he can teach me stuff?

[b]Monster of Doom:[/b] Spandex ;_;

[b]Pink:[/b] I?ll take that as a yes! Onward! (runs off to find spandex)

[I]But these were the Lost Woods. He?d never be able to find his way through without the guidance of the Monster of Doom. So Pink ran through some trees, climbed some cliffs, and even passed some wise man?s house until he came across an evil-looking cave.[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] Holy heart failure, Batman! An evil-looking cave.

[b]Batman:[/b] Let?s investigate.

[I]And so they did. It wasn?t long before Batman?s gadgets failed and he was slain by bats and Gels. Pink continued on after admiring Adam West?s corpse and came upon an evil-looking doorway.[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] Wowzers. An evil-looking doorway. Man, this is some lame writing.


[b]Pink:[/b] ;_;


[b]Pink:[/b] But me not good at kung fu.


[b]Pink:[/b] Shut up >:^o

[I]A little creature ran through the door and past Pink, crying. It turned around and stuck it?s tongue out.[/I]

[b]Little Creature:[/b] YOU SUCK!

[b]Pink:[/b] WTF?

[I]Putting aside the fact that the threatening monster was actually a little stupid beast, Pink continued his way through the door. Upon walking over the threshold, the door slammed shut and he was locked in. He heard an evil laugh.[/I]

[b]Evil Voice:[/b] Ha HA HAHAHAH HAhAAhhHa and ha!

[b]Pink:[/b] What kind of sick place is this? >:^o

[b]Evil Voice:[/b] It?s teh lairness, my pet!

[b]Pink:[/b] Oh crap!

[I]The room was suddenly lit revealing a giant monster and some puppet tied to a wooden thingy.[/I]

[b]Puppet:[/b] Finally. A hero!

[b]Pink:[/b] Me can saverz you! (trips and loses 1 full heart)

[b]Puppet:[/b] Aw ****.

[b]Giant Monster:[/b] I are teh EVIL MONSTER OF LOST WOODS AND STUFF and you suck >:^o

[b]Pink:[/b] There?s no such thing as sucking. You change a high concentration to a lower concentration causing the liquid in your straw to push upward and go into your mouth. Sucking doesn?t exist.

[b]Giant Monster:[/b] (speechless) Ummm?

[b]Pink:[/b] Hey! I thought you were speechless!

[b]Giant Monster:[/b] I am!

[b]Pink:[/b] You said a word!

[b]Giant Monster:[/b] ?Ummm? isn?t a word. It?s more of a--

[b]Puppet:[/b] Will you two fight already? >:^o

[b]Pink/Giant Monster:[/b] Otay :<

[I]And so, Pink killed the monster with ease and released the puppet from it?s imprisonment.[/I]

[b]Puppet:[/b] Thanks, b*tch. That was terrible. Name?s Louie. I?ll be your sidekick and ****.

[b]Pink:[/b] You swear a lot. :<

[b]Louie:[/b] Yeah? Who gives a flyin? ****?

[b]Pink:[/b] :^o

[b]Louie:[/b] What?

[b]Pink:[/b] Kids read this story.

[b]Louie:[/b] Meh.

[b]Pink:[/b] Wait a second! (pushes Louie into some lava) Is that-IT IS!

[I]Pink rushed over to where a treasure chest had appeared inside of the monster?s corpse. He opened it to gain yellow spandex![/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] Yays :<

[b]Louie:[/b] You ****ing skank! You?re lucky I?m lava-proof. Now let?s get out of here.

[I]And so they did. With the help of Louie?s navigation abilities, Pink and the smart-mouthed puppet made it back to the Monster of Doom in no time.[/I]

[b]Monster of Doom:[/b] Spandex ;_;

[b]Pink:[/b] Here they are! (holds up yellow spandex)

[b]Monster of Doom:[/b] Yellow! I wanted blue >:^o

[b]Pink:[/b] Wha?

[b]Monster of Doom:[/b] Now you shall pay!

[I]Without warning (aside from the monster saying ?Now you shall pay!?), the Monster of Doom transformed into a hideous creature and began charging Pink and Louie.[/I]

[b]Louie:[/b] ****! We?re in a tight spot! Kill it, you loser hero!

[b]Pink:[/b] Me not know how to fightness!

[b]Louie:[/b] But you killed the Giant Monster in the cave >:^o

[b]Pink:[/b] He was allergic to me :<

[b]Louie:[/b] ****!

[b]Monster of Doom:[/b] Stop swearing! This is a kids? show. Now stand still so I can rip out your body parts and make for a bloody and gory scene.

[b]Pink/Louie:[/b] ;_;

[I]What will become of our stupid hero dressed in pink and his worthy sidekick who?s a talking puppet? Will they die? Let?s hope so. This story is very cliché. Find out what happens in EPISODE 3 :^o OMG NO![/I]
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Now I would have to say that was very .... Interesing. But I think I have grown dumber just for reading this crazy story. How the heck did you come up with all this ... stuff? Wwhat the heck, its just insane, nevertheless, kudos to you my good friend it was so hilarious I almost pissed in my pants :laugh:
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what exactly gave you the idea for this? Its good but it seems really really.......interesting..
aw where did you get the Idea for this? Have you done anything else like this with other series-es? lol. I like it much I do. very nice. Like theadore said, you deserve all the praise that is granted to you. ^^
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Critics say: "The Legend of Selda... uhhh... it's funny."

"Perfectly insane. What would the world be like without Selda?"

"Wow... crazy."

"Excuse me, I just wet myself..."

And that aint the half of it... right. Anyway, the second one was almost better than the first! Especialy the spandex... go spandex!!
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[QUOTE=ArunueShekamari]what exactly gave you the idea for this? Its good but it seems really really.......interesting..
aw where did you get the Idea for this? Have you done anything else like this with other series-es? lol. I like it much I do. very nice. Like theadore said, you deserve all the praise that is granted to you. ^^[/QUOTE]

Well, obviously this is a simple Zelda parody, but I've made a zillion other things like this. To name a few, The Kobra and Lamb Show, Goatman, Pirates of the Otakuboards, How the James Stole Christmas, The Adventures of Daily Comic, The Educational Adventures of DW and Shinmaru, Mr. T Adventures, Dude Stories, etc. Too many to name off :<


[I]Last we left, Pink and Louie were about to be beaten to a bloody pulp by the Monster of Doom for getting it yellow spandex instead of blue. Yays![/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] Ahhh! I?m gonna die! Wait! (spots something in a tree) Hold me, Louie!

[b]Louie:[/b] You people never give up.

[b]Pink:[/b] I?m not gay!

[b]Louie:[/b] Suuuure?

[b]Pink:[/b] Just pick me up and throw me at that tree.

[I]And so, the puppet used his mighty strength to chuck Pink at the tree. He unfortunately hit the trunk. He climbed to the top and found what he had spotted. Seeds! Big seeds! Oddly enough, the Monster of Doom just sat around and watched the whole scene when he could?ve been killing them.[/I]

[b]Monster of Doom:[/b] Hey! You?re right, narrator. I?ve gotta stop them! (charges)

[b]Pink:[/b] Holy laundry day! He?s charging Louie! (grabs a couple of seeds) Pink is on the way! (leaps from the tree and chucks the seeds at the Monster of Doom)

[b]Monster of Doom:[/b] WTF? (gets hit in the head by seeds) Ouchies! (disappears in a cloud of smoke)

[b]Louie:[/b] That was unexpected.

[b]Pink:[/b] Quite. I guess I can fight a little.

[b]Louie:[/b] Ha! You wish, you little b*tch.

[b]Pink:[/b] Aw crap! That monster was going to show me the way to the wise man?s house.

[b]Louie:[/b] Are you ****ing dumb?

[I]There?s a long, awkward silence.[/I]

[b]Louie:[/b] Umm? yeah. Remember in episode 2, it mentioned I was a good navigator? Why didn?t you just ask me? I would?ve frickin? done the job.

[b]Pink:[/b] I?ve began to ignore the narrator.

[I]Why, you gay little hero?[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] (mumbles something insulting involving tissue paper)

[b]Louie:[/b] C?mon, you little gaywad! We must get to the wise man?s house!

[I]And so, after Pink scolded Louie for calling him gay, the two of them set off to find the wise man?s house. The Lost Woods were long and treacherous, but with Louie?s guidance, it was a piece of cake.[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] Piece of cake? Awww? now I?m hungry ;_;

[b]Louie:[/b] Well, we?re not ****ing stopping now.

[b]Pink:[/b] But Louie ;_;

[b]Louie:[/b] No! >:^o

[b]Pink:[/b] ;_;

[b]Louie:[/b] ?

[b]Pink:[/b] ;_;

[b]Louie:[/b] Otay? yeesh? whiny b*tch.

[I]So they set up camp for the night and ate peanut butter and cabbage sandwiches.[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] NU UH! Mine?s a hammy sammich!

[b]Louie:[/b] :^o


[b]Pink:[/b] What? :<

[b]Louie:[/b] How dare you! >:^o

[I]Yeah! That?s a copyright of the Sammich Squad![/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] Me not know ;_;

[b]Louie:[/b] Because you suck!

[I]We?ll let you off with a warning this time, but next time you do it, the Sammich Squad will have to take care of you.[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] Eep. ;_;

[I]After they finished their din din and I scared the crap out of Pink, they got some rest and before long, day broke.[/I]

[b]Louie:[/b] ****! How can we fix it?

[b]Pink:[/b] I dunno. Day never broke before!

[b]Louie:[/b] I?m just a puppet! I don?t know how to fix these kind of situations!

[b]Pink:[/b] I?m just an idiot ;_;

[b]Louie:[/b] I was made by some Chinese worker back in 1980!!!

[I]Aw shut up, you two! It?s a figure of speech![/I]

[b]Pink/Louie:[/b] Oh :<

[I]So the idiots set off to find the wise man?s house again. It wasn?t long before it was seen right up ahead.[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] Dere it is! :^o

[b]Louie:[/b] Let me do all the frickin? talking in there, okay?

[b]Pink:[/b] I like bagels with cream cheese :^D

[b]Louie:[/b] O.o

[I]So they approached the door and knocked. The door slowly opened revealing--[/I]

[b]Pink/Louie:[/b] BILL COSBY?

[b]Bill Cosby:[/b] Ga-HA! Yeah!

[b][I]Later? inside the wise--er? Bill Cosby?s home?[/I][/b]

[b]Bill:[/b] Now, ya see, dis adventure of yours is perfect for the type of man you are. You take a little of dis and dat and what do ya got?

[I]Cough cough?[/I]

[b]Bill:[/b] Ye got da birds and da bees! Ga-HA!

[b]Louie:[/b] O.o

[b]Pink:[/b] O.o

[b]Louie:[/b] Oh? (looks at wrist) Look at the time!

[b]Pink:[/b] Louie, you?re not wearing a watch.

[b]Louie:[/b] Shut up! (to Bill) Thanks for the tea and--

[b]Bill:[/b] Now the thing about the tea is you get your essential vitamins with a little whacked upness, if ye know what I mean. Ga-HA! It?s good for you, but not for me, Bill Cosby.

[b]Pink:[/b] I need to go to the bathroom. (rushes into the other room)

[I]Pink had sadly left Louie to fend for himself with Bill Cosby as he searched for the facilities in Bill?s hut. He came across a long hallway where two twin girls stood. He looked at them curiously.[/I]

[b]Two Twin Girls:[/b] Come play with us, Pink.

[b]Pink:[/b] Otay! :^D

[I]And so he did? but meanwhile, with Bill and Louie?[/I]

[b]Bill:[/b] And once ye got that, den there?s no turning back. Ga-HA!

[b]Louie:[/b] (eyes are bloodshot) Ve-ry? interesting?

[b]Bill:[/b] Now let me tell ya about my book [u]Fatherhood[/u]--

[b]Louie:[/b] NOOOO!!! (punches Bill and runs down the hall to grab Pink) PINK! LET?S GET OUT OF THIS HELL HOLE!

[b]Pink:[/b] But why? :< I made new friends.

[b]Louie:[/b] (looks at the twins) WTF?

[b]Two Twin Girls:[/b] Get this guy away from us!!! (run off screaming)

[b]Pink:[/b] They liked bagels with cream cheese too :^D

[b]Louie:[/b] Very nice, but we must go!

[b]Pink:[/b] Did you get info from the wise man about fighting and stuff?

[b]Louie:[/b] Yes, but let?s go before--

[b]???:[/b] Hey boys?.

[I]They slowly looked behind them and there was Bill Cosby holding up his book with a shaky hand![/I]

[b]Bill:[/b] Now ye see, that?s not nice to do to old Bill Cosby?

[b]Pink/Louie:[/b] AHHH!!!

[I]The two of them ran out of the house and out of the Lost Woods to never be seen again? wait. That?s not right. They?re the heroes. Of course they?re seen again. Oh well.[/I]

[b]Pink:[/b] (panting) Dat was scary.

[b]Louie:[/b] I know. Who woulda thought the wise man would be ****ing Bill Cosby.

[b]Pink:[/b] Louie! What?s that?

[b]Louie:[/b] Huh? (looks down and notices a huge slice across his chest) OH MY GOD! Ga-HA!

[b]Pink:[/b] AHHH!

[b]Louie:[/b] What?s going on? Ga-HA!

[b]Pink:[/b] Why do you keep laughing like Bill?

[b]Louie:[/b] I must?ve been scratched by him while trying to flee! I?m ****ing cursed!

[b]Pink:[/b] :^o

[b]Louie:[/b] Soon I?ll become another Bill Cosby! Don?t let that happen to me, Pink!

[b]Pink:[/b] Then we must find a way to cure it! But how? :<

[b]Louie:[/b] In the town of DizzleWizzle, there?s bound to be a witch who can whip up a potion.

[b]Pink:[/b] Let?s go then!

[b]Louie:[/b] You learning how to fight will have to wait! Quickly! We must make has-ga-HA!

[b]Pink:[/b] ;_;

[I]Crap! Louie the smart-mouth puppet has been cursed by the scratch of a Bill Cosby! If he isn?t cured, he?ll become the crazy-talking comedian before long! Will the heroes make it to DizzleWizzle in time? Find out when this plotline begins to get better! :^D [/I]
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You are VERY messed up dude. But a good messed up. Ra must have given you some strange way to make people laugh. I was OTFLMFHO (translation: On The Floor Laughing My ********** Head Off). You need to make Episode 3 funnier than all of them. Hmmmmmm....Link meets Mario.....theres an idea. Dear Ra are you funny, man!
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