Writing Honza and the Rabbi [Yet Another Goofy Story by Gavynn]

[Dragon Warrior]

I'm bored ;_;

This is a running joke with my friend Wes and me. We always act out scenes at random with me being a rough hero named Honza with a deep voice and shades, while Wesley is a Rabbi (no name mentioned). Why do we do it? Dunno. It's partially since we're in a play and I'm a guy named Honza and he's a Rabbi in it. The rest is just odd insanity we do.

No offense to Jews and people named Honza. Enjoy :)

Anyways, here we go :<

[center][SIZE=4]Honza and the Rabbi[/SIZE][/center]

[b]EPISODE I: Hordala teh EVIL Entity[/b]

[i]It all started long ago in the year 2004... wait... that's this year. Then it started not too long ago this year in a park where an evil entity shall rise.

Two children sit and play in the park sandbox.[/i]

Boy: I'm having fun :<

Girl: Me too.

Boy: Wow. What's this? (holds up a book with evil pictures on it)

Girl: Looks like a storybook!

Boy: Let's read it even if we're only 4 years old and can't read yet.

Girl: Okay!

[i]They open the book and evil seeps out.[/i]

Evil: Tra la la la la la!!!

Boy: It's a pop-up!

Girl: Read it already!

Boy: Coocala morala tensickapolihenderson JOHN ADAMS! (storm clouds form overhead)

Girl: Keep reading! It's just getting good.

Boy: Hordensoco walayendamsoner!

[i]As the boy reads, an evil being erupts from the earth's soil. He is cloaked in black, torn garments and has a very evil looking expression. Oh my.[/i]

Boy: Badaboom! (closes book) That was fun.

Girl: Who's he? (points at dark entity)

Entity: (stands in sandbox) I am Denzel Washington--no relation to the actor--but you may call me HORDALA! (lightning flashes)

Boy: You're being funny, Hordala.

Hordala: No, I'm not. I'm being EVIL! (lightning flashes)

Girl: I'm Lucy and he's Conrad. Wanna be friends?

Hordala: I am friends with no one. I'm EVIL! (lightning flashes)

Conrad: Wanna build castles? We can play sand invebstibators.

Hordala: You mean sand investigators, fools! Yeesh. Learn how to talk.

Lucy: We're only 4 year old twins, Denzel.

Hordala: Yeah, whatever. But I have no time for games. I have EVIL to do!

Conrad: You smell, mister.

Hordala: Hey! I just came back from the NetherRealms. What do you expect? It doesn't exactly smell like popery over there.

Lucy: You should play with us.

Hordala: I don't feel like it.

Conrad: We'll tickle you if you don't.

Hordala: No! (gets tickled) Haha... I won't... hehe... STOP IT!

Conrad/Lucy: (gasp)

Hordala: That is enough of this nonsense!

Mother: Oh, Conrad and Lucy. Who's your new friend?

Hordala: I am no one's friend! I am an EVIL entity sworn to take over your pathetic world!

Mother: Sounds like someone needs a nap.

Hordala: (jumps up and down) I don't want a nap! I want to take over the woooorlllddd...

Mother: Well, go ahead, but Conrad and Lucy must come home with me. It's their naptime.

Conrad/Lucy: Bye, Mr. Washington.

Hordala: HALT! (freezes Mother in carbonyte) Conrad, Lucy, you are now my minions.

Conrad/Lucy: Okay :^D

Hordala: MUHAHAHAHAHA! (lightning flashes) MUHAHAHAHA--what the?

Conrad: You're fun, Hordala.

Hordala: (is buried in the sand) How in the... you kids are fast!

Lucy: We know.

Hordala: I want out ;_;

Conrad: You've gotta say please.

Hordala: No!

Lucy: Fine. (tickles Hordala's feet) Hahahahah! Stop!

Conrad: Say it!

Hordala: No--hahahahaha... I wo--hahahaha... fine. Stop! Please!

Conrad: Okay. He said it.

Hordala: (leaps out of the sand) Why didn't I just do that before? (turns to kids) Let us move!

----------

[b]Meanwhileness...[/b]

Rabbi: (walking down street) Dum dee dum dum dum...

Honza: Rabbi.

Rabbi: What the--Oh. It's you, Honza.

Honza: It's time, Rabbi.

Rabbi: Time?

Honza: It's time, Rabbi.

Rabbi: Yes. You said that already. And I say "time?"

Honza: I know, but I forgot my next line.

Rabbi: Oy... well, let's just skip to the next line.

Honza: Okay.

Rabbi: Alright.

[i]Silence.[/i]

Rabbi: Well??

Honza: I still dunno.

Rabbi: Oh, for cryin' out--alright. We'll just go to the next scene. Maybe if we're lucky enough, you'll know your lines.

Honza: We can't, Rabbi.

Rabbi: Why not?

Honza: That's the end of this episode.

Rabbi: What? Already?

Honza: Hordala took up the whole time slot.

Rabbi: Oy... fine. We'll have to leave the audience in suspense then.

Honza: Guess so.

Rabbi: Yep.

[i]More silence.[/i]

Rabbi: I thought you said it ends now?

Honza: It does.

Rabbi: Then why isn't it over?

Honza: Oh, we still have a few more seconds. About 10 right now.

Rabbi: What? We had seconds to spare and you didn't tell me? We could've done more things. Why didn't you--

[b]Thanks for bothering to read this first episode! Stay tuned next time for when Honza and the Rabbi get into a sticky situation![/b]

Honza: Glue sucks, Rabbi.

[Skye]

::chokes on Coke:: ROTFL!!!!!! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! Okay, that is veyr funny, Gavvyn-kun! I loved it! Go Lucy! And Conrad! And... Rabbi! w00tw00t! Do moooooore!!!!!!!11!!!1!!
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[font=Verdana][size=1][color=red]Callmegoddess, that was not enough depth in your post to qualify as constructive criticism [you can find guidelines on constructive criticism [url=http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=37710]here[/url]. In future, please improve your post quality in this forum, and include some depth and reasoning in your posts. -- Lady Asphyxia[/color][/size][/font]