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mail order brides and online dating

Xander Harris

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Recently, there was an article in Time/Newsweek (can't remember which) about a Russian 'mail-order-bride' who was severely abused by her husband. However, the article mentions that there are quite a few 'mail-order' marriages that worked out well. I have heard stories from people who met their SO online... anyhow, I guess I was wondering what everyone's views are on

a. The ethics and practices involved in 'mail-order' companies

b. The ethics and practices involved in general internet dating

c. How well you think these relationships can work out

d. Anything else pertaining to the subject?

James Bierly
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[COLOR=#B33D79][SIZE=1]Over here, it's actually illegal to engage in the mail-to-order bride business--buyer, bride or pimp.

The guy shouldn't have beat the poor Russian up; even if she was mail-to-order, it's not like she's all his to be treated in anyway he wanted. Probably because of extreme poverty that these women consider going abroad to live with a stranger a possible solution. Sad thing is, if ever something terribly wrong happens to the woman, she can't just leave the guy. It's likely that she knows no one in that country and doesn't have enough money for a trip back home so she's kinda stuck with him.

[URL=http://www.aamovement.net/immigrant_labor/mail_order_brides.html]Internet Spurs Growth of Mail Order Brides[/URL]
[quote name='Record Newsweekly, 1982']A Filipin(a) mail-order bride was murdered by her Australian husband of a few months, then quickly cremated, after he had taken out an insurance policy on her life.[/quote]Again, it's not like she's all his to be treated in anyway he wanted.[/SIZE][/COLOR]
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Online "dating" is such a far cry from mail order brides, I don't know that I could even really compare them in any decent sense. Obviously there are sites that let you choose from these brides, but they're really no different than the random printed magazines/papers that people used to use instead. No real attempt is ever made to get to know these people beforehand, online or otherwise. The only link is that they both share the internet, really. With mail order brides, I don't know how that could ever go well as the whole thing just seems to be based on using the other person for one reason or another on both ends.
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I don't think online dating and the entire "mail order bride" thing shouldn't be compared. It's kinda like saying that if your friend hooks you up for a date that they are your pimp.

My husband had someone make a referrence to me once in the tone of me being a "pen pal" (pen pal = mail order bride). When we bought our first home we were moving in the neighbor across the street stopped to visit with my husband and said: "I see you are married to an Oriental." John just looked at her. After all rugs and chicken salads are "oriental" people are Asian. Apparently her daughter-in-law was a "pen pal" and got married to her son and moved to the States.

Needless to say he set our neighbor straight and informed her I was born an American citizen and was not a "pen pal". I am sure you all know I am FAR from being the "submissive ORIENTAL wife". I am way too outspoken for that gig.

From what I have seen. Online dating has been pretty good for my friends who have met via the internet. The couples I have seen set up via the "pen pal" system are not happy. Most of those girls seem like they are getting married as a way to escape their poor lives in their native country. I know of 2 people in my hometown whose "pen pals" divorced after getting their citizenship.
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