Writing beauty [E]

[Mitch]

II
how pretty things are
when they are true
to themselves
so, i say, go -
write with your flesh
and tendon and bone
so, i say, go -
dream with your
wishes and desire and want
so, i say, go -
drink sweat, eat words
consume passion
guzzle determination
get drunk off love
and wear only yourself
amid these pieces of cloth
you wear
amid this face
you wear

[elfpirate]

[b]I enjoyed this quite a bit. The style is refreshing.;) [/b]

[b]Keep it up![/b]

[KarmaOfChaos]

[color=deeppink][size=1]This is a nice little poem. Surprisingly cheerful for you. ;)

'write with your flesh
and tendon and bone'

Those were my favorite lines - they provided for some very vivid imagery.

-Karma[/size][/color]

[Justin]

I haven't been keeping up too much with things around here anymore; however, I notice an extreme difference in this writing style and the style you used as standard before. Is this a reflection of a change in character, or just a step into a new arena?

As far as the analysis goes, I may come back with a full one (in fact, I could use that for my AP class, if you approve) in a few days; however, for the time, my only suggestion is to use more imagery. You convey a lot of good action (the drunkeness, guzzle, dream, wear, write), but it could do with more images (like your tendon and bone imagery). I don't know how you feel about editing poetry--I, for one, can't stand to go back and change poetic work--but I have found that it does help make your poetry better to make some change.

-Justin

[Mitch]

[quote=Justin]

Is this a reflection of a change in character, or just a step into a new arena?[/quote]

Both, I supppose.

[QUOTE=Justin]

As far as the analysis goes, I may come back with a full one (in fact, I could use that for my AP class, if you approve)

-Justin[/QUOTE]

Yeah, go right ahead.

Nice to see you around here again, Justin.