Writing The Dead Breeze [PG]

[Ellven'and]

[COLOR=DarkRed][I][CENTER][FONT=Arial]This cold air, this lifeless breath,
Which manifests from the newborn death
And cuts the soul, slices flesh,
But rends not this fragile frame.
All through the hills screams a voice
Of perilous danger, a hidden choice,
That is enough to drive insane
The untouched madman's feral soul.
Cold and dreary flies it through
Open meadows and sinewy yew
And within he holds, without embrace,
The scars which render his mind useless.
The tears, dripping off his nose,
Bring his memories to a bitter close,
And he clings to forlorn rags,
Bearing not a bearable sight.
That which he holds so tightly
Is stolen from him, nightly,
As he lives that fateful night over again,
Forever to drift, lifeless, on the Dead Breeze.[/FONT][/CENTER][/I][/COLOR]

[Lady Asphyxia]

[size=2][font=arial narrow]While I thank you for rating your thread, I do not feel that an E rating such as you have given it is appropriate, because of the themes relating to death etc. that some members may not find appropriate. When you rate a thread E, please take note that you're saying [i]everyone[/i] can read it and that there are no darker themes really running through it. I'm going to change the rating of this thread to a PG. In future, if you have any problems chosing the correct rating, just PM me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. ^_^

All in all, this is a nice, consistant piece of poetry. I love the fact that the rhyme scheme continues right throughout the poem and that the use of good vocab. really enhances it. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail, but I will say I quite like it.[/font][/size]