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Writing this is the way we live. [pg-13]


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This is a story- though not sure how long of one- I'm writing for my portfolio for college. I've only got the prologue done, and the character resumes, but I want some feedback on the prologue. It's different.

I can't believe I'm asking for feedback. Like that will happen.

[SIZE=2][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]prologue.[/B]

[B]darryl.[/SIZE][/B]

[SIZE=2]I loved her. Life got in the way, I know that much. Maybe life needs to back off a little.[/SIZE]

[B][SIZE=2]leo.[/SIZE][/B]

[SIZE=2]I was once told that life is fragile, tender. But I?ve always asked myself? how can something so hard be so tender?[/SIZE]

[B][SIZE=2]elena.[/SIZE][/B]

[SIZE=2]Life isn?t easy, but I make it. We all do. Sometimes I wonder if I can go on. [/SIZE]

[B][SIZE=2]madison.[/SIZE][/B]

[SIZE=2]I never quit. It?s something that I just don?t do. And if I did? well, that?d be the easy way out.[/SIZE]



[SIZE=2][CENTER]This is the way we live.
Day by day, we survive.[/font][/CENTER][/SIZE]
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[size=2][font=arial narrow]You know, you aren't exactly [i]encouraging[/i] people to give feedback when you have an attitude like that. I mean, there'd be people out there who'd be much more grateful for our time. It isn't like we [i]have[/i] to review.

But at the same time, I know what it's like to get no replies, so..

As a prologue, I can see what you're trying to do. I like the set up with the Name, then thought. The problem I have with it at the moment is that because your sentence structures are much the same, it becomes sort of repeditive, and, more than that, the characters don't really have their own personality. So if this is the prologue, the reader will go into the story thinking they're much the same.

My suggestions is to keep writing, then go back to the prologue and just alter the sentences a bit when you know who the characters really are.[/font][/size]
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